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Wedding Etiquette Forum
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snail-mail RSVPs vs. website RSVPs

aswepston74aswepston74 member
First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum

I wasn't planning on doing the whole wedding-website thing, but I've kinda gotten sucked-into doing it and have set one up through theknot.com. My question is do I have to give my guests the option of RSVP-ing online, or can I "require" them to snail-mail their response-cards? (I don't want to waste money on response-cards and postage if everyone's going to RSVP online.)

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Re: snail-mail RSVPs vs. website RSVPs

  • Beachy730Beachy730 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_snail-mail-rsvps-vs-website-rsvps?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:633469de-bd49-41a9-9d2e-7761ff6f0c9ePost:acd8305f-9f9b-48ec-b60b-752f316daf4b">snail-mail RSVPs vs. website RSVPs</a>:
    [QUOTE]I wasn't planning on doing the whole wedding-website thing, but I've kinda gotten sucked-into doing it and have set one up through theknot.com. My question is do I have to give my guests the option of RSVP-ing online, or can I "require" them to snail-mail their response-cards? (I don't want to waste money on response-cards and postage if everyone's going to RSVP online.)
    Posted by aswepston74[/QUOTE]

    Still do snail-mail cards.  I wouldn't even give people the option of responding on TK.  I didn't use their site for my website or guest list, but from what I hear from other posters it has lots of glitches and screws up.  Its not worth the risk of not getting someones response. 

    If you want to save money you can do postcard RSVP's so the stamp is cheaper.  And you could get free postcards from Vistaprint.com.
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  • waltzingmatilda13waltzingmatilda13 member
    2500 Comments
    Just don't offer an online RSVP if you don't want to. We mostly used our website to give additional info about the hotels and things to do in the area.
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  • strlzfan11strlzfan11 member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    I wouldn't trust technology that much and stick with the snail mail RSVPs.
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  • Pirata13Pirata13
    2500 Comments
    We only did snail-mail RSVP.
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  • CellesCelles member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    You can't really require anything of your guests.  If it's really important to you that they use the RSVP cards so that the return postage isn't "wasted" (which isn't entirely logical), then disable the online RSVP section of the wedding website. 
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  • aswepston74aswepston74 member
    First Comment
    Thanks for the advice - I'd actually already planned on doing the all-in-one invitations that have the perforated-postcard response-cards to save money (and trees) and I still wanted to go that route, if I could. If you don't mind me asking, which web-hosting-thingie did you use?
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  • ehathewaehathewa
    1000 Comments
    It is good to have both.  Many older people like to do snail mail - and they are very fun to recieve!  The webis a good back up for when someone misplaces the card. 
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  • filawfilaw member
    Ninth Anniversary 100 Comments 5 Love Its
    On the flip side, we're tech people so we built our own website and did all the RSVP-ing online.  We did not include any snail mail option in the invite, but included a phone number for anyone who couldn't/didn't want to do the computer.  We got 2 calls from a 200+ person guest list.

    I've had two co-workers who did the exact same thing just recently.  At least in my area, online only is very common.
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  • Beachy730Beachy730 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker

    We didn't do any form of onlne RSVPing.  I made our website through Buffalowedding.com, which was local for me. 

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  • nebbiolonebbiolo
    100 Comments
    edited November 2010
    Momentville.com has a great online RSVP. I only know because we sent STDs and have ALREADY received online RSVPs! Folks added their address, phone number and emails. It allows you to increase/decrease the party size too.

    I disabled it, given that we haven't even sent invitations yet.
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  • ootmother2ootmother2 member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    Use snail mail.

    website rsvps are too unreliable
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  • ckonidakckonidak member
    Sixth Anniversary 100 Comments
    I used www.mywedding.com for our website. And let me say my best piece of advice is to choose as short of a domain name as possible. Ours is www.mywedding.com/JoeandCasey(Lastname) and it's really difficult to fit on our Save the Dates!

    Also, I would only do paper RSVP's. I know lots of people that think online-RSVP's are tacky. Just a thought.
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    100 Comments
    Count me as one of those "older folks" who think online RSVPs are beyond tacky. they scream cheap.  There are many ways to economize, but your guests should not see the economy, and online RSVPs are done only to save money.  Actually you could save money and do invitations the old fashioned way without response cards.  Guests then write their own responses and pay their own postage; this was the socially acceptable way for many, many years before the wedding industry became a multi-billion dollar business.
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