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RSVP Vent

KarennrobKarennrob
100 Comments
in 40-Plus Brides
We invited about 180 people, so about 90 invites or so went out April 15th. My deadline for RSVP was last Friday, May 20th. Self addressed stamped envelopes included, of course, along with a meal choice card, indicating it is a formal sit down dinner. There are 80 people, 40 or so invites of people that just didn't have the courtesy to mail it back. I am meeting with our Venue and Caterer in 2 days to give them the final count, and pay.

Is it just me, or is it rude to leave someone hanging like this? I KNOW there are women attached to these couples that must know that a head count is crucial to planning. EVERYTHING depends on the count. Tables, linens, chargers, chair covers, sashes, favors, centerpieces, dinners, chairs for ceremony and even program fans.

Sorry for the vent, but it just erks me that I KNOW people will just show and expect a dinner, well guess what peeps, I refuse to pay for a dinner at $35 a plate for a "maybe".

 Oh get this, I get a strangler rsvp today, and she sends back a blank meal choice card, and the registry card. Nice :)
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Re: RSVP Vent

  • IslandBeachBrideIslandBeachBride member
    100 Comments
    Dontcha just love it.  You would think, at our age, people would have a clue.  I'm irked for you!  It's not like this is their 1st wedding they've attended or even special event.  

    I wouldn't pay for meals unless they RSVP.  How are you going to handle the people that just show up?  I'd do placecards for the RSVP and everyone else....their loss.  

    So glad I'm doing an openhouse/ apps menu.  :)  But I feel your pain!!! 

    Oh and for the blank menu returned - I'd do a blank dinner plate.  Sorry, I do have an evil streak.   
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  • tenofcups4metenofcups4me member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    I'd get on the phone  tonight and start following up asap. Since you probably won't have time to track down everyone before your meeting with your caterer, find out your options at that point. I would assume you can give them the minimum number you know about for sure at that point and then add a certain number in the week or so afterwards if you need to. But find that out for sure.
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  • SharingourloveSharingourlove
    100 Comments
    Sucks is not a strong enough word!  I don't understand why people can't just take 2 seconds, mark a card and put in the mail.  To say they are lame is an understatement. 
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  • Marrin713Marrin713 member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    I don't know what it is either that's so hard about taking a minute to fill out an RSVP and stick it back in the mail.  Practically everything is done.  Maybe they just get lost in the jumble since they are small.  I keep everything together - invite, RSVP and whatever else comes with.  Nowadays these invites look like presentation folders and are just as big.

    Sucks that you'll have to call, Karen.  We were very lucky in that everyone replied almost immediately (they'd been waiting 7 years for this!). Wink
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  • Marrin713Marrin713 member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_40-plus-brides_rsvp-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:69dea60c-2319-4015-8380-4a5cc0f18476Discussion:f5045d8b-c23c-4c39-83ae-111beee09603Post:fabbeed1-5b37-4af9-99ed-40564b31ce17">RSVP Vent</a>:
    [QUOTE]We invited about 180 people, so about 90 invites or so went out April 15th. My deadline for RSVP was last Friday, May 20th. Self addressed stamped envelopes included, of course, along with a meal choice card, indicating it is a formal sit down dinner. There are 80 people, 40 or so invites of people that just didn't have the courtesy to mail it back. I am meeting with our Venue and Caterer in 2 days to give them the final count, and pay. Is it just me, or is it rude to leave someone hanging like this? I KNOW there are women attached to these couples that must know that a head count is crucial to planning. EVERYTHING depends on the count. Tables, linens, chargers, chair covers, sashes, favors, centerpieces, dinners, chairs for ceremony and even program fans. Sorry for the vent, but it just erks me that I KNOW people will just show and expect a dinner, well guess what peeps, I refuse to pay for a dinner at $35 a plate for a "maybe".  Oh get this, I get a <strong><em>strangler</em></strong> rsvp today, and she sends back a blank meal choice card, and the registry card. Nice :)
    Posted by Karennrob[/QUOTE]

    Well of course no one's RSVP'ed.....they heard you invited a "strangler." <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-innocent.gif" border="0" alt="Innocent" title="Innocent" />
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  • KarennrobKarennrob
    100 Comments
    Marrin, smart A$$ lol       I'm sick on drugs, be nice lol
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  • Marrin713Marrin713 member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_40-plus-brides_rsvp-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:69dea60c-2319-4015-8380-4a5cc0f18476Discussion:f5045d8b-c23c-4c39-83ae-111beee09603Post:8843bc15-dac4-4bce-b68c-7dd3f30811c3">Re: RSVP Vent</a>:
    [QUOTE]Marrin, smart A$$ lol      <strong> I'm sick on drugs</strong>, be nice lol
    Posted by Karennrob[/QUOTE]

    What's wrong?  I keep feeling like I'm coming down with something but then it goes away.
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  • KarennrobKarennrob
    100 Comments
    Respiratory Infection. No biggie lol
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  • Marrin713Marrin713 member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    If no biggie, then I'll continue to be a smart a$$

    Seriously, take care & feel better.  We've had a couple of patients whose resp. infections turned nasty.
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  • Lisa50Lisa50 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Ugh!  Sorry.  It's time to start calling people, I guess.  Good luck.
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  • Lisa50Lisa50 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_40-plus-brides_rsvp-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:69dea60c-2319-4015-8380-4a5cc0f18476Discussion:f5045d8b-c23c-4c39-83ae-111beee09603Post:e441670c-db3e-4f54-804f-216a7b8f8ebf">Re: RSVP Vent</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: RSVP Vent : What's wrong?  I keep feeling like I'm coming down with something but then it goes away.
    Posted by Marrin713[/QUOTE]

    Marrin ... she has the walking pneumonia!  Where have you been?
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  • Marrin713Marrin713 member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    I don't know where I've been.......tell me where I've been Lisa!  :)
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  • Lisa50Lisa50 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_40-plus-brides_rsvp-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:69dea60c-2319-4015-8380-4a5cc0f18476Discussion:f5045d8b-c23c-4c39-83ae-111beee09603Post:2fc0e236-e83e-4d6a-baf9-b3ce37a704a0">Re: RSVP Vent</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't know where I've been.......tell me where I've been Lisa!  :)
    Posted by Marrin713[/QUOTE]

    I don't know where you've been, but I've missed you.  Did you go away for a pre-Rapture weekend escape?  Florida, maybe?  <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-undecided.gif" border="0" alt="Undecided" title="Undecided" />
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  • Marrin713Marrin713 member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Went to Florida in April.  Then got busy with my bestie counting down to her son's wedding last week end.  Time just gets away from me.
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  • shytownkellyshytownkelly
    100 Comments
    I hear ya on the RSVPs.  I mean seriously.  I am having a destination wedding - so I have a couple of friends that are going.  They have booked airfare the whole bit.

    did they bother to send me the rsvp card back?

    I mean its not like they can re-use the stamp or the envelope - it's got my name and addy all over it.

    And what about my craptastic father?  I know the wedding is the same wedding as his annual fishing trip - but for the love of pete - check NO and send the effer back!

    Thank god no one is just going to show up in Mexico...
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  • tarheelbabstarheelbabs member
    100 Comments
    I hear you all.  We had the self addressed stamped envelopes.  And the envelopes were the best ever.  All you had to do was peel off stickers to seal them--no licking involved. And we still had to track down 40-60 folks during the last week or so.  I didn't know about one of my cousins until his mom and sister showed up without him.  He was hoping to make it, but had to work.  I figured he wouldn't--and that we'd have some no shows--so I didn't reserve a meal for him.

    These things just happen though.  I guess they're just part of it that we have to accept, even though we may not want to.  The upside is that on your wedding day, it really doesn't matter.  All that frustration and annoyance is GONE!!
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  • KarennrobKarennrob
    100 Comments
    edited May 2011
    I made some texts, emails on Facebook, and got my side all responded. Added a few. Just made a list of all his rsvps to follow up on. He is contacting them all tomorrow. We will see how this turns out. :) Thanks for letting me vent ladies :) xoxo
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  • coralee715coralee715 member
    100 Comments
    I wish more people would understand that RSVP's are necessary!  They always think "they know I'll be there".  ARGH! 
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  • WEEZIE918WEEZIE918
    100 Comments
    This follow up stuff is going to be my mom's job!!!  Sounds like it's a pain in the rear!!!  Doesn't seem like it would be that much effort to check a box and drop it in the mail, but from what I'm hearing it is...go figure!
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