September 2012 Weddings

F/D Dance replacement?

My dad is one of my favorite people on this planet. He and I are so much alike and that has only gotten clearer as the years have gone on. We have the same sense of humor and lots of inside jokes. However, my dad is a very stoic, and non-emotional. He also does NOT dance, or hug, or touch, anyone. So the F/D dance has been the thing I have been stressing about the most about this whole wedding (even more than BM dresses!). It will seem so awkward and forced. Also, I don't wanna cry... its probably going to be a touching moment but I would rather have fun than sob in front of everyone.

So I was thinking of replacing it with a "moment" where my dad and I have a toast with each of us drinking his favorite beer. Its an ongoing joke in our family because he only drinks ONE kind of beer and the caterer even agreed to start ordering it just for him. I was gonna have one of our favorite sarcastic country songs played and just have pics taken of us having a beer together. I feel like its very us and would be less embarrassing.

But.... my mom keeps asking about the dance. I think she wants to have that memory for herself, and it makes me start to wonder if I will regret not having a F/D dance like everyone else. I don't know what to do. I thought about having half a dance and then switching it up to something fun, but then I'm still dreading the awkward dance. When asked about having a dance my dad just shrugged and said 'I guess."

What would you think of that as a guest? Would it seem odd to just have a song played and have us just have a beer together? If you were a family member of a bride who did this would you be upset there wasn't that touching moment F/D moment?

Re: F/D Dance replacement?

  • edited July 2012
    I think that is sweet! It is sentimental to you. That moment isn't for anyone except you and your dad. As long as the two of you understand what it means that is all that matters!

    If you are concerned about guests not "getting it", maybe have the DJ tell jokes about you two, or put something in the program.

    You may even have this moment in a seperate room by yourselves. Maybe just invite your photographer to get a few shots of you two. I think that would be very cute if your venue has a bar that the two of you could sit at alone. Even just a drink outside the venue or at a table set up outside of the reception.

    As long as you stay true to your relationship with your dad, I do not think you will have any regrets.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_fd-dance-replacement?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:e2741d1c-36e2-40ea-9288-24b4cea31c0dPost:c8b9122e-95e2-4845-8885-3ef9f26964b0">Re: F/D Dance replacement?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think that is sweet! It is sentimental to you. That moment isn't for anyone except you and your dad. As long as the two of you understand what it means that is all that matters! If you are concerned about guests not "getting it", maybe have the DJ tell jokes about you two, or put something in the program. You may even have this moment in a seperate room by yourselves. Maybe just invite your photographer to get a few shots of you two. I think that would be very cute if your venue has a bar that the two of you could sit at alone. Even just a drink outside the venue or at a table set up outside of the reception. As long as you stay true to your relationship with your dad, I do not think you will have any regrets.
    Posted by AshnRobo[/QUOTE]

    100% agree,  It is meant for you and your dad.  Not your guests.  Not your mom.  Do what you think you both would enjoy most.
  • Could you have the dj make some "jokey" comment like, "in lieu of a f/d dance, the bride and her father are going to celebrate in their own special way" and have the beer toast?  It's totally up to you what you want to do (I'm skipping a lot of the traditional stuff and have already caught flak for it as well), but to avoid any awkward questions from guests.  I think it's a really personal and sweet idea!  You both want to be able to enjoy the day without any added nervousness!
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