July 2012 Weddings

Flower girl...what to do

As some of you may know, my fiance is italian.  When we first got engaged everyone was so excited(his family) and said they were coming to the wedding.  This was last june.  He has a little cousin who basically made herself the flower girl and I didn't object considering she is FI's only cousin and thought it would be cute.

Fast forward to now when none of his family is coming.  And I have no flower girl.  I know it doesn't really matter but flower girls are so cute.

My ring boy is my bother's FI's son.  The only other child coming to the wedding is ring boy's cousin (who I would have asked had I not stupidly believed that Fi's fam was coming).  Can I ask her mom if she wants her daughter to be my flower girl?  Or is it rude bc she's the second choice?  I don't want to ask bc of this but i'm cuious to hear your opinions.  Thanks girls!
weddingcake-1

Re: Flower girl...what to do

  • I wouldn't just pick someone to be a flower girl...the people in your wedding party (including RG & FG), should be people that you're closest to whether they're family &/or friends...
  • I agree with LM.

    I kind of wish we had a FG and a RB (or more than one of each!) because I agree that they are SUPER CUTE . . . but we just don't have any kids we're close with and it would probably just end up getting contentious if we did choose. Also, we're not inviting any kids to ceremony/reception, so it's easier to just have a blanket "no kids - not even in the wedding party" rule.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • I've known this little girl since she was born and her mother and my brother's girlfriend since I was 8 years old.  They are close family friends.   The only reason I didn't ask her in the first place was to give  Fi's only cousin a special place in the ceremony.  I'm not just picking a random person.  She and her mom are coming to the wedding.  She is the only child invited other than her cousin who is the ring boy. 

    It doesn't matter anyways.  I know I won't ask her because I wouldn't want her to feel like a replacement.
    weddingcake-1
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_flower-girlwhat-to-do?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:554224f7-54c0-471b-967c-844802adb388Post:3d2ab083-d119-4499-8ad3-dc91b82541db">Re: Flower girl...what to do</a>:
    [QUOTE]I've known this little girl since she was born and her mother and my brother's girlfriend since I was 8 years old.  They are close family friends.   The only reason I didn't ask her in the first place was to give  Fi's only cousin a special place in the ceremony.  I'm not just picking a random person.  She and her mom are coming to the wedding.  <strong>She is the only child invited other than her cousin who is the ring boy.  It doesn't matter anyways.</strong> <strong> I know I won't ask her because I wouldn't want her to feel like a replacement.
    </strong>Posted by Nancy00714[/QUOTE]

    In that case, if they don't know you initially asked the other girl, I would consider including her if she's the only other kid invited to the wedding. That way, other people will look at the kids and be like "Oh, no kids EXCEPT for the wedding party." That's actually a great way to explain it to people if they start asking why their kids aren't invited! (Not saying you will have this issue, but it would be a good out for you if you needed it at some point! I kind of wish I could say that!)
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • There are no other children to invite.  My friends don't have kids yet.  Any other "kids" are in there 20s.  I invited this little girl because I knew her mom might not come if I didn't. 

    Me and my big mouth mentioned fi's cousin would be the flower girl.  No biggie. 
    weddingcake-1
  • Did the mom know about your exFG? Meaning, she will definitely know her daughter is second pick?
  • I would still ask her anyway.  I dont think she will be upset even if she knows she is the second choice.  I wouldnt care.  If you are close to them then ask her.  
    :)AJ Pregnancy Ticker
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_flower-girlwhat-to-do?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:554224f7-54c0-471b-967c-844802adb388Post:3405d4a7-ebdb-439c-bb0f-25e1e436eda4">Re: Flower girl...what to do</a>:
    [QUOTE]People in the States have more than one FG/RB sometimes. (I have no idea what they do in Italy, or even if they have FG/RBs, but you can always play the American card if need be in this case.) If you frame it like you were asking a second FG - since they know about the first one - and then later the other drops out, then it could be okay. If they know it's a replacement, then it could hurt their feelings. Like PPs have said, ask because you're close and not because you want cute. You have that covered, though.
    Posted by Schatzi13[/QUOTE]

    Good idea! I think you should just ask. I understand why you didn't ask for her to be your FG at first, but that doesn't mean you still don't feel close to her. I think it will be fine.
  • Thanks everyone!
    weddingcake-1
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