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rowdyredhead · May 2011

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CassieeK · May 2011

I'm confused. It sounds like you took control of your own party, so why did you expect her to make reservations? And what the hell is a maid of party? That's the title you gave her to make her in charge of your party? If you're mad she didn't make reservations, it sounds like you still expect her to help plan, so what's the problem with her having invited her mother? If you don't want to drink, just.....dont. It isn't a sorority hazing. No one is going to force feed you drinks. And you want to serve people you don't like cold food at your reception? Never mind.....I'm sure this whole thing is MUD.

MairePoppy · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_arent-bachelorette-parties-supposed-fun-bride-cuz?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:3130f4f4-1dfe-43db-a84b-0b0c2affeb71Post:203bded1-fb6a-4e1b-8b2f-fb5825df0e10">Aren't bachelorette parties supposed to be fun for the bride...? cuz.....</a>:
[QUOTE]I have very few close girlfriends. I've become buddies with my fiance's guy friends....they're so much fun and genuinely good people (wish I was going to the bach. party...they're going to have a ball!!). My sister is my MOH, my 2 sister-in-laws are my maids and my best friend from high school is my "Maid of Party". (Yep...making up titles) But, as "Maid of Party" it was her job to plan a bach party. Months and months went by with no talk of it, so finally I decided to make my own plans. I told my MOP and she got really salty about it....."Soooo....you're just planning your own party now? That's what's up.....?" which, might I add, followed "It's your party, babe...I want you to do what you want!" I decided (since I'm not much of a drinker anymore and HATE bars) that we should go out for a nice relaxed dinner at the Melting Pot. This morning I realized that my MOP probably hasn't made reservations yet ("party" is friday night), so I asked her if I should make them and told her it was a small group of only 4. She got confused and asked "who's all coming? because my mom's coming too...she wants to get you drunk" I just feel that it's not appropriate that her mom comes. Yes, I've known her mother since I was 12 years old. However, no one else's moms are coming and I really don't need anyone there "getting me drunk". Her mom hasn't even sent me her RSVP card for the wedding yet (our cut off was May 10th...) so on top of the fact that I'm annoyed that she has been invited to my party, from the beginning apparently, she's one of the people on my list right now who I would love to make sure gets a cold entree at the reception (possibly with some waiter's spit in it...) I hate that I'm in this position. I didn't even want a bach. party and as it gets closer I've been trying to think of excuses as to why I can't make it......(flooded apartment, strep throat, and burst appendix are the top contenders as of now...) Do I REALLY have to be the bad guy and tell her that I would rather stick a fondue fork through my eye than listen to her loud mother manipulate the whole night while force feeding me drinks?! I didn't sign up for this. I just want to marry the man of my dreams in a few weeks and be done with this whole mess. I have no clue what to do. If my fiance and I would have known what a pain having a big wedding was, we would have gotten married at the courthouse months ago, sent out announcements, and be done with it. I wish they made a fondue pot big enough for my size 20 butt to jump into and disappear forever.
Posted by rowdyredhead[/QUOTE]

You're are the one who is wrong. A bachelor party is a gift, not an entitlement. You don't get to assign party planning duties to anyone. The cute title doesn't help your cause. If someone <strong>volunteers</strong>to throw a party for you, you shouldn't micromanage it to the point that you have taken over.

Since you really don't care about the bp that much, it would probably be in everyone's best interest if you told everyone that you do not want a bp.

As far as RSVPs go, give it a few days. Then call those that haven't responded. I know its a pain to have to make those calls, but you are over reacting.

rowdyredhead · May 2011

She requested the title of "Maid of Party" and told me she WANTED to plan a party for me. I didn't want 1 in the first place.......and I haven't given ANYONE jobs or duties throughout this entire process. I just wanted to move things along to get it over with........my "planning" entailed me saying, "hey how about we just all go out to dinner....." As far as RSVPs are concerned....it doesn't take 2 months to put a self addressed, self stamped envelope in the mail especially when its destination is 10 miles away. The cold entree comment was just supposed to be funny.....obviously I'm not going to have my guests eat a COLD $75.00 meal........

mia082683 · May 2011

If I were you, I'd find a way to explain to the MOP that you really aren't comfortable with having anyone that is not bridal party at your bach party.

I know how you feel because I had to step in on my bach party when I found that they were going to NOT honor my wishes and do dancing and strippers regardless. As much as I don't want to have anything to do with the planning of another event (the wedidng is more than enough), I had to step in. I think you probably got to that point as well.. especially if you're like me. I had anxiety for months that they weren't going to honor mine or FI's wishes because our friends tend to all be of the same frame of mind (which is not like us - party, bars, dance, drink, strippers, etc.).

As for the RSVP, I feel the same way, but I think PPs are right and you just need to give it a few more days and then call her. Good luck and deep breaths!

rowdyredhead · May 2011

Mia...you're an angel. It's just refreshing to hear from someone who gets how I feel. Thanks for not being super rude like the other beasts on here! Best of luck with your wedding! and congrats! :-)

trix1223 · May 2011

You really sound like quite the:

But hey, good luck with everything.

ADTonk · May 2011

It's no one's job to plan the B-party unless they offer.

IF someone offers, they should at least give you the courtesy of asking you what kind of night you want - not specifics - but what kind of mood you're going for. Some might want a wild and crazy night, others may want something a little more laid back. IF she asks you exactly where you want to go, then you can request the Melting Pot. If she doesn't ask, then she will figure it out herself.

You should not be requesting any of this and you certainly should not be planning your own b-party.

jemmini6 · May 2011

The only thing I think you are 'right' on is that you can request that her mother not be included in the bachelorette party, especially if her intention is to get you drunk when you don't want to. Regardless, even if she does come, you can say "no" to her offers of drinks. No one will hold your mouth open and force drinks down your throat....

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