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Advice

kjones84kjones84
First Comment
in Georgia-Atlanta
What is the etiquette for showers vs parties?

My FMIL had called me a couple months ago and said that we needed to add certain people to our guest list because they were having us a shower (and that's the proper etiquette). I added them to the list with no problem, because afterall, they are having us a shower!

With less than 4 months to go til the wedding, my FMIL called me to organize dates, but all these people that are having us showers are now having us parties or teas instead (ie. no gifts). I don't mean to be snooty, but one of these parties is happening less than a month before the wedding...doesn't that kind of defeat the purpose?
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Re: Advice

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    belletopbelletop
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I would say if these are people you want to have at your wedding, invite them.  If you don't want them at your wedding, politely decline the shower/party and don't invite them to the wedding.  If they're throwing you some kind of wedding-related party that doesn't include gifts (kind of weird btw) I think it would be pretty awkward if they weren't invited to the actual wedding.
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    SoHappyToBeMrsCSoHappyToBeMrsC
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    "having us a shower".

    Really? Having?

    FTR, you are not required to invite these people to your wedding. If someone has offered to throw you a shower, or give you a shower, then that is their choice, but that does not obligate you to invite them to the wedding.

    The etiquette that your FMIL is referring to is that people who are not invited to the wedding should not be invited to the shower.

    In your shoes, I would politely decline the showers/teas/party whatever, and keep your guest list as is. I would also have a talk with your FMIL about who calls the shots. Unless she's paying, she cannot call you and tell you to add people to the guest list. Create those boundaries now, or she will be bossing you around for the rest of your marriage, since you have shown her you will tolerate it during your engagement period.
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    My_MattMy_Matt member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011

    I am confused...

    image
    I wonder if Prince William and Kate are registered at Target?
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    kjones84kjones84
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    What are you confused about?

    Another thing my FMIL did is invite people to our "party" that are not invited to the wedding. TACKY!
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