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WWYD-Skipping out of being a bridesmaid....

RosePetal PlaceRosePetal Place
in Snarky Brides

I am separating from my DH.

My BIL is getting married in February and his fiance (whom I love dearly) asked me to be a bridesmaid. I have also agreed to host one of her 3 bridal showers (along with my MIL) 

I am trying to think of the best way to handle the bridesmaid/Bridal shower thing.

I personally think since it is his family I should bow out of the wedding. I love my future SIL and I don't know what to say. 

 

I am not so concerned with the bridal shower since there are many people who would love to do it.
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Re: WWYD-Skipping out of being a bridesmaid....

  • psubride09psubride09 member
    10 Comments
    I would take some private time with her and let her know you are separating from your husband if she doesn't know already.  Then explain to her, that while you love her, and want to continue the friendship, out of respect to their family you need to bow out of being a bridesmaid.  I think this would be one situation where it is completely acceptable and unselfish.  
    "You're not my life but you're the one I want to spend it with. You're not my world but you're the best thing in it."
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  • itzMSitzMS member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    edited August 2012
    I witnessed this firsthand. A good friend of mine was in the beginning stages of divorce with her DH. The two of them still insisted on both attending a mutual friends wedding. They both were very raw emotionally and totally ruined the bride's day. It wasn't either of their intent to cause a scene, and they both thought they could "handle it" but it just...happened....

    Do things for your ex-FSIL privately, but please consider bowing out of any of the main wedding events.
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  • TheVirginiansTheVirginians member
    500 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary

    You are not really "Skipping out of being a bridesmaid".  You are being respectful of the bride and groom, by not allowing your relationship with the groom's family be an issue on their special day. As a wedding guest, there will be no focus or spotlight on you.

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  • Stackeye210Stackeye210 member
    5000 Comments

    I"m very sorry about you and your H.  :(  Are you guys have an ugly break up?  Or are things just kind of ending?  You don't have to answer those questions but based on your answer I give my advice.  If you are on ok terms, can be around one another then what do you think about bowing out as BM but if you're still on good terms with MIL still hosting the bridal shower?  I mean if things are ok you would still be invited as a guest correct?  And you still love your FSIL regardless. 

    I would talk to FSIL and let her know your concerns and that you plan on stepping down but that you would love to be involved in other ways (of course if that is still true). 

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  • Blueyed228Blueyed228 member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Just be honest with her.  Tell her whats going on and that you are sorry but you feel that stepping down is the best thing for you to do.

    Im sure she will understand.  If she doesnt, then she is a jerk.
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  • KatonersKatoners
    10 Comments Second Anniversary
    I have nothing helpful to add to you ost other then I love your name/avatar! I watched Rose Petal Place a thousand times at my grandmas house (on VHS naturally) when I was little and I dont know a single person outside of my cousins who knows it! Also, I randomly have those songs pop into my head and they stay there for days!
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