Attire & Accessories Forum

Need to try on dresses- not feeling good about body

Hey guys - I'm hoping you can give me some encouragement. I'm 5'6 and 185 lbs, wearing a size 14. This is VERY big for me, most of my life I've worn and 8-10. Started working on losing weight back in August/Sept. Set a goal to lost 15 lbs by a friend's wedding Oct. 15. I lost 10 and was feeling pretty good; wanted to lose another 10 by January to try on dresses. Well, here it is Dec. 28 and not only did I not lose another 10, I gained back six of the 10 I originally lost. My wedding is Sept. 21, 2013, so I know I need to get out there and try on dresses in January (Jan. 21 will be 8 mos out), but I feel like no matter what dress I try on I won't like the way I look in it because I don't like my body/weight right now. 

I want this to be a good experience - a fun experience - every woman looks forward to trying on/finding the dress of her dreams. But trying on dresses at this weight...just doesn't seem fun. In addition, a couple of aunts and cousins want to  come with to the fitting - so if I feel bad, I have to feel bad in front of them. Any words of encouragement? 

Now that Xmas is over, I plan to get back to super healthy eating and exercise.

Daring to dream a bigger dream

Re: Need to try on dresses- not feeling good about body

  • In Response to <a href=" BoardsForum:15Discussion:30618c6f-df04-4694-8452-ec88200f1fabPost:d4a2a1f7-dc96-4d1e-84d0-699f92a0a7cf">Re: Need to try on dresses- not feeling good about body</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hey there! You should come hang out on Getting in Shape. Everyone is really nice and supportive there, and a lot of us use together. Kwitherington over there lost 30 pounds between when she bought her dress and her wedding, so she will have some great advice for you. If you are worried about feeling bad dress shopping, why don't you go get your hair done and do your makeup first, so when you get in those dresses you look really good and put together? It might be just the boost you need. If there are off the rack stores near you, you can also wait a bit and go that route. I bought my dress off the rack at Group USA, they carry Camille La Vie dresses. David's also has a ton of dresses and pretty quick turn around times in some. <strong><em>When you go to try on, remember that bridal sizes run smaller than street sizes, so don't fret over the size on the label</em></strong>. Good luck!
    Posted by Liatris2010[/QUOTE]

    I agree with everything that has been suggested... I was just about to say the same thin about the sizes.... That can REALLY get you discouraged.. but if you go in knowing in advance.. you can not let it get to you sooo much...
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  • Join the great exercise forum here on the knot and try on some corset back dresses--instant confidence booster, even on petite women corset back dresses make your waist look AMAZINGGGG 

    And don't fret, you have lots of time to get to your goal weight before the wedding. 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • gailpetegailpete member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2012
    I agree with the PPs.

    Call around to the bridal salons that you are thinking of visiting and ask what sample sizes they carry.  Some salons only carry size 6 or 8 and that will not help you self image issues.  Look for ones that carry a variety of sample sizes. Trying on samples that actually fit will help you feel better about the place.  Most dresses can be taken in a couple of sizes, so if you order now, it should still be possible to alter it to fit your slimmer body when September comes.

    If possible, you may want to limit who goes with you to your mom and/or one or two close friends that will be supportive and positive.  Just because your aunts and cousins want to go doesn't mean you have to invite them.. Tell them you want the dress to be a surprise.

    Good luck and enjoy your shopping.
  • QueerFemmeQueerFemme member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited December 2012
    I agree with everyone else.  Try on lots of different styles and shapes, and pay ZERO attention to the size label. I wear a 14/16 in street clothes, and my wedding dress is a size 20.  Wedding gown sizing is funky funky !!

    If you are considering David's Bridal, you do have more time to try to get to your goal weight before buying a dress.  I had serious dress regret and went into DB 2 months before my wedding, and they could still guarantee that the dress I was considering would arrive in time.

    I don't suggest waiting that long, but you do have a little more time, if you are going the DB route.  Other designers do often take 6-8 months to arrive, so you will have to order soon if you are considering other designers. 

    My understanding is most dresses can be taken in up to 2 sizes before you start losing shape and structure of the dress.  So, keep that in mind as you are shopping/considering when to buy
  • Hey there! Congrats on losing those 10lbs and sorry you gained some back. Hang it there you are doing great. The PP offered some great advice. All I can add is my experience. First, I am about 50 lbs heavier than I was about 18 months ago. We (DF and I) have had a really rough year and I suffered from depression eating. I've usually been pretty slim and able to pull off most gown shapes, but given my current size I knew this was going to be a difficult part of dress shopping. I went to DB, and although I had heard some not so great things about them, I'll first say my sales lady was great. I had fallen in love with a ball gown online, and a coule others I thought were nice, but never thought they'd look nice on me. The sales lady had me try on every shape/style, and never told me the size I was trying on and I didn't ask. I gauged the dress by how it looked and not biased by dress size. I fell in love with the one I went in to try on. I have since started losing weight and have lost enough to order the smaller size and hope to be able to lose enough to have it taken in a bit more, but if not, I still felt absolutely amazing. Take with you a few people you trust and feel comfortable with, and it's not a bad idea to get dolled up prior to going. Take a deep breath and don't get discouraged. Laugh at the things that fit poorly, you will find your dress.
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  • Thanks SO much guys! Sounds like some very good advice. Good idea on telling the aunts/cousins I want it to be a surprise. Of course all of my aunts and cousins are overweight, so they don't see me as being big - lol. They are very nice and supportive but I just feel like I don't want anyone seeing my flabby arms - self image thing. 

    I had no idea on the sizing thing with wedding dresses - egad - I don't want to know what size I'm trying on in that case!  I have some looks for dresses in mind, and I know what will likely flatter my figure, I was planning to go to DB and HOB. Maybe I'll check on the Chicago board to see where others have gone. Thank you, lovely ladies!
    Daring to dream a bigger dream
  • Hello fellow bride to be! I am going through something similar. I recently gained weight and I am terrified of trying on dresses. Just remember that you are beautiful and think of the big picture and the big day. You have time to get to your goal by your wedding, so while it may be hard trying on dresses now, keep reminding yourself that you are beautiful now and you will be beautiful on your wedding day. Buy your dress now, the size you are now and make sure you can have it altered and explain you may lose some weight. But buy a dress you feel beautiful in now as you are! I'll be doing the same, don't get discouraged, we can do it!!! :)
  • I just found my dress on sat! I too am plus sized gal who was worried about how I was going to look and was worried I wouldn't find anything for my body! Boy was I wrong! First of all we are planning a very quick wedding, just got engaged and our wedding is this April. The bridal shop I made an appointment with informed me that I would not be able to order anything that I would have to buy off the rack. They actually had a dozen dresses in sizes that actually fit me! In one day at the first shop I went to, I found 'the dress'! I was so worried but the girls at the salon were so helpful in helping put me in a dress that works for my body style! Oh and for me I was able to go 2 sizes smaller than my pant size so don't fret about any of the numbers on the tag! Find a salon in your areas that has dresses in a size you can try on and trust the girls helping you, they really do know how to play up your shape! Also adding a veil will take your eyes away from the trouble regions like our flabby arms! Trust me! It will be fun! Good luck on finding your dress.
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