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Customs and Traditions

Blending Greek Orthodox and Presbyterian traditions.

I'm Greek and my FI's family is Presbyterian. His father would LOVE for us to get married in his church. He's very involved with the church (not only is he in the chorus but he works there).

My mother really wants me to have a Greek wedding. To be quite honest, so do I.
Sure I'll "American-ize" it a bit with bridesmaids and things like that, but I would like a mostly traditional Greek wedding.

I thought about having one ceremony, a cocktail hour, and then the other, and THEN a reception. I also thought about just having them on two days.

Another option was to have a Greek wedding, and a year later renew our vows in the Presbyterian church.

Has anyone had a similar problem? What to do?

Re: Blending Greek Orthodox and Presbyterian traditions.

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_blending-greek-orthodox-and-presbyterian-traditions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:7bdc032f-2bc5-418e-a619-850d7411f2a6Post:d388bf8f-b068-473a-abb5-97a58201bb49">Blending Greek Orthodox and Presbyterian traditions.</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm Greek and my FI's family is Presbyterian. His father would LOVE for us to get married in his church. He's very involved with the church (not only is he in the chorus but he works there). My mother really wants me to have a Greek wedding. To be quite honest, so do I. Sure I'll "American-ize" it a bit with bridesmaids and things like that, but I would like a mostly traditional Greek wedding. I thought about having one ceremony, a cocktail hour, and then the other, and THEN a reception. I also thought about just having them on two days. Another option was to have a Greek wedding, and a year later renew our vows in the Presbyterian church. Has anyone had a similar problem? What to do?
    Posted by Ahendon1[/QUOTE]

    Have you and your FI discussed religion at all?  What role it will play in your marriage?  If you have kids, what faith they will be raised in?

    This is not a small problem that you have.  Your Greek Orthodoxy is important to you.  How important is Presbyterianism to your FI?  You cannot have two wedding ceremonies if that is what you mean by "the other". 
    Proud to be an old married hag!! image
  • Ahendon1Ahendon1 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited May 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_blending-greek-orthodox-and-presbyterian-traditions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:7bdc032f-2bc5-418e-a619-850d7411f2a6Post:8f864d3c-940c-4ea8-9903-a08a3a0c2221">Re: Blending Greek Orthodox and Presbyterian traditions.</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Blending Greek Orthodox and Presbyterian traditions. : Have you and your FI discussed religion at all?  What role it will play in your marriage?  If you have kids, what faith they will be raised in? This is not a small problem that you have.  Your Greek Orthodoxy is important to you.  How important is Presbyterianism to your FI?  You cannot have two wedding ceremonies if that is what you mean by "the other". 
    Posted by GoodLuckBear14[/QUOTE]

    I am fairly new to this discussion board but I see your posts EVERYWHERE it seems! You are such a sweetheart to try and help so many people on here. 

    We have discussed religion. I'd prefer my kids to be Greek Orthodox (they will be baptised as such!) but ultimately it will sooner or later be their own decision. I'm not going to pressure them, but when they are young they will definitely be coming with me to church.

    The reason I thought about having both ceremonies is because my professor had a Hindu wedding in the morning and a  Baptist ceremony later in the evening.
  • It was a reallly slow day at the office today.  It doesn't happen too often.  If your chidren are going to be baptized Greek Orthodox, I would have the Greek Orthodox wedding.  What is your FI's opinion on this?
    Proud to be an old married hag!! image
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_blending-greek-orthodox-and-presbyterian-traditions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:7bdc032f-2bc5-418e-a619-850d7411f2a6Post:4b2f88a9-bfde-4f0a-a0d4-1edb895e753f">Re: Blending Greek Orthodox and Presbyterian traditions.</a>:
    [QUOTE]It was a reallly slow day at the office today.  It doesn't happen too often.  If your chidren are going to be baptized Greek Orthodox, I would have the Greek Orthodox wedding.  What is your FI's opinion on this?
    Posted by GoodLuckBear14[/QUOTE]

    <div>He is leaning towards the Presbyterian wedding (naturally, I mean he grew up with it!) but he told me he really doesn't care either way. His statement was "I don't want to spend thousands of dollars making OTHER people happy."</div>
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Your fi has the right idea. It's your wedding. And after that, it's your marriage. You should base your decision on what is right for the two of you, not your parents. If the plan is to raise the children in the Greek Orthodox church, then you should make an appointment with the pastor of your church to discuss your decision and make sure that your church will recognize your marriage.
                       
  • 2 of those kinds of ceremonies, involving 2 different church buildings, is likely too much for 1 day.

    We're catholic, but my fiance's parents are Jewish, and they're insisting on "a Jewish wedding." What we're working towards is Jewish elements before and after our Solemn High Nuptial Mass. This might even include a full Jewish ceremony at the reception. [A Jewish ceremony just has to take a few minutes, so this is doable without tiring ourselves or our guests.] Alternatively, a rabbi might just say some blessings at the reception.

    You should consider ways to include the Presbyterians outside the church ceremony.
  • My best friend is Greek Orthodox and I know that her parents would go crazy if she wasn't married in their church. Luckily, her beau doesn't really care. But in your situation, maybe compromise. There was a tv show, I think 7th Heaven, where they had a minister and a rabbi marry the couple together. They blended it. (I was a long time ago so I don't remember much).

    But the reason why I say compromise is so you or your FI (or family) doesn't feel like one or the other won/lost out in the end. I guess it is something to think about, sorry if it doesn't help.
  • My FI is orthodox and I'm Catholic and our Orthodox priest who is marrying us actually told us that he got married in a baptist church the week before their "real" wedding and then got married in the orthodox church the next week. this website may also help. http://transfiguration.org/our-parish/pastoral-guidelines/weddings/
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