I am new here but I wanted to vent about BM (I am sure we have all done that). And I am one of those silly silly brides that got caught up with the excitement of the engagement and asked her BMs like right away (my wedding is not for over a year). So all my BMs are totally fine except for one... My SIL. I am really trying to be a accommodating bride. I am letting the girls pick their own dress (as long as its deep purple) if they have one already, want to borrow etc, fine by me! Hair and makeup is not mandatory, I am providing the accommodation for the night before and after for the out of towners and I told my SIL who does not live where the rest of the BMs do that if there is a shower held were we are, that she doesn’t need to attend if its too far away. Sounds fair to me! My present to them will be paying for the spa day the day of the rehearsal...which she still asks if she needs to even attend.
Well here are some of my problems...everytime I discuss the wedding, she has made various comments and here we go:
1. Thinks weddings are stupid and silly and a waste of money-they are common-law. Fair enough but c`mon you don’t need to keep saying it.
2. Every time I share something to do with invites or photography she sends me back a quote for the price she would do it for me, with a “generous” discount of 25 off. Umm thanks for trying to make a buck off the wedding...
3. She flipped out on me when I wrote to the girls about the shopping trip (all the girls wanted to go together to a bigger city to shop for dresses so they could get a close colour) even though I said it was optional and I would pay for the hotel. I am giving five months notice!
4. Told me that I was selfish because I am having the wedding where I live. Its in the middle sort of for my family and fiancé family. I am selfish because my Grandma is thinking she doesn’t want to attend because its maybe too far (only 6 hours-but fine if that is her choice) and do I really want to have my wedding day without her? Even saying that my finances family is silly because they are already travelling 12 hours to our town but couldn’t they travel four more hours so the wedding can be in my hometown where she lives (my hometown is 3-4 hours away from the wedding)
5. She doesn’t want to do anything with a bachelorette if its not where she lives....
6. And even my BM has even told me that she thinks this girl doesn’t even want to buy me a wedding gift because the gift alone is showing up. Even though she and my brother have a very expensive over seas trip planned. I think that has more to do with it.
I have even spoken to her gently saying that she seems stressed and maybe stressed financially and that I wouldn’t want this experience to stress her out, so if it was too much, to let me know but she says she is fine.
So I don’t know what to do....and her comments etc are starting to hurt me....