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Futur SIL drama

airrae84airrae84
in Wedding Party
My future sister in law and I are on non-wedding speaking terms. Anytime I say the word wedding she is instantly negative and changes the subject. My fiancé says it's because she is jealous of us getting married next summer. Long story short what job or duty would someone give a person like this? I want to include her but how involved do I let her become without sucking all the excitement right out of me?
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Re: Futur SIL drama

  • mlg78mlg78 member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    Either your fiance can include her or she can be a guest.
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  • aquari0216aquari0216 member
    500 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_futur-sil-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:0ecfe97e-c546-4886-97d5-34ed2894f14ePost:369e4425-7f95-4971-839f-6f181d6358a0">Futur SIL drama</a>:
    [QUOTE]My future sister in law and I are on non-wedding speaking terms. Anytime I say the word wedding she is instantly negative and changes the subject. My fiancé says it's because she is jealous of us getting married next summer. Long story short what job or duty would someone give a person like this? I want to include her but how involved do I let her become without sucking all the excitement right out of me?
    Posted by airrae84[/QUOTE]

    WAAAAAAAAAAIT! Why would u include her again?
    ****The Future Mrs. Ikeard**** wedding countdown
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Just make her a guest.  I wouldn't trust someone who is so negative about my wedding with anything else.
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_futur-sil-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:0ecfe97e-c546-4886-97d5-34ed2894f14ePost:57d20e5c-e014-43fb-b3c8-f2dd8c73adfd">Re: Futur SIL drama</a>:
    [QUOTE]Stop sharing your plans with her, and don't talk about the wedding in her presence.
    Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

    This.  And just invite her to be a guest.  Don't try to think of some dumb job for her to do because that would probably just cause more drama.

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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited February 2013
    Why would you include someone you are not all that close to?  If your fiance wants her in involved, she can stand on his side. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
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  • renegade gauchorenegade gaucho member
    100 Comments Third Anniversary 25 Love Its
    You don't give jobs or duties to anyone, even if they are your best friend and love talking about your wedding with you, unless you are paying them for their service.
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  • PeledreamsofrainPeledreamsofrain member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    It makes no logical sense to double the exposure of something that irritates someone in an attempt to make them happy. Say you hate ants. A friend notices and decides that all you need to get over it is a lapful of ants. She dumps them on you and waits for you to praise her. What do you do? Same principle. Stop dumping ants on your FSIL.
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

    image

    Anniversary

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  • beardownbchsbeardownbchs member
    500 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper

    Ditto PPs. Please see the thread a few below this one - "Advice from a sister of the groom". Including people just for the sake of including them typically makes things worse.

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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    500 Comments
    I just have to ask - are you on non-speaking terms because she's not happy about your wedding or for other reasons?

    Either way, it's up to your FI to include her if he wants - you are under no obligation to do so on your side. But I just wanted to clarify. Because if you're going on non-speaking terms with her because she changes the subject when you bring up your wedding, you need a serious reality check before you perminently damage your relationship with your future in laws.
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