so where are these rules about how soon you can plan your wedding.

CSK4 · September 2012

Ive been reading a few posts on here and these girls are asking for help and advice on palnning their wedding and the commetns they are getting is your wedding isnt till 2013 or 2014 dont even start to think about planning till then. Is there some unwritten rule ive never heard of. Im not trying to be rude but i know that ive been planning my wedding since i was about 4, im not saying that they should set anything in stone but i dont see the issue with brainstorming about things you might like and narrowing your thoughts to a few things.I would rather know exatcly what i want so when it comes time to start buying things and picking venuses i know exactly what to do and dont have to stress about figuring it out in a few months .

lagonza · September 2012

I have trouble choosing one of those choices. I started planning a little over a year in advance because I'm a teacher and we got engaged in December. If I essentially have to set the date for summer, then that leaves either 6 months of 18. So I guess I started at about 16-17 months. We didn't book a venue or anything crazy, just started hammering out the details and the "non-negotiable" things. People on these forums are MEAN!!

J&K10910 · September 2012

When people say that, it's typically over things like "Does my floozy of a sister get to bring her flavor of the week?!" or "What if my uncle gets a divorce?" or questions about invitations, bridal parties, or other things that are better left until later.

There's nothing wrong with brainstorming, looking at venues, figuring out budgets or PRELIMINARY guest lists, getting ideas, etc, as early as you want.

AdeleDazeem · September 2012

I called our venue in July 2009. The coordinator was so sweet, helpful, and wonderful. She asked what date in May we were thinking and then laughed "Not that it matters - May is so far away that you can have whatever date you want!" Yeah, I was calling for May 2011 not 2010. She was floored when I told her that and asked why I was calling so early. I felt so damn silly, but we really just wanted to lock in the date. I didn't plan anything else for about a year.

Lots of venue book up early, many other things to do not. It's really about how popular the vendors you want are.

EDIT: While I definitely agree that sometimes things can get too harsh on here, it's a rare occurrence. Most people are just offering their honest reactions without sugar-coating their answers, which many people find "mean." The other side is that the OP asks a question that they want a particular answer for and are annoyed when everyone doesn't jump up and agree with them. The "meanness" is a two-way street. Listen to the regulars on these boards - they are wise and trying to help you, but won't decorate their answers with sunshines and rainbows.

Loopyseven · September 2012

I think "big" stuff like a venue, dress, preliminary guest list is fine to plan 12-18 months out, especially if you have your heart set on a certain location and date and want to make sure to get in early. Many of the "don't worry about that now" is over minor guest list issues that don't really need an answer, or may resolve themselves before invitations go out at 6-8 weeks before hand. Photogs, dj's, florists probably need to be booked between 6-12 months out - again unless you are super picky and know exactly which photographer you want and they are super popular. Stressing about wedding parties, two years out, or so-and-so's crazy boyfriend a year in advance is unnecessary stress because relationships change and ebb and flow and what seems like a deal breaker now, may be a non-issue closer to the wedding when you're making decisions that actually impact that situation (inviting crazy boyfriend, etc).

Beads921 · September 2012

The first thing I planned was our venue, which I booked in Feb 2012 for a July 2013 wedding. We had been engaged since Nov 2011, but I didn't think I needed to rush anything.

Big things like venue, photographer, officiant, caterer, etc can be done up to 2 years in advance, although 18 months seems more reasonable to me. It's the little things that you really shouldn't be thinking about more than a few months ahead.

LeiselEB · September 2012

We had venues and vendors booked the day after we got engaged. I don't think there's any timeline on those sorts of things.

But worrying about what shoes the bridesmaid will wear can wait.

sierraberry32 · September 2012

I know a lot of girls tht get engaged and plan a wedding in 2-3 months... I don't know about them, but I would be stressed to the max!

achiduck · September 2012

I booked all my vendors about 12-14 months in advance b/c I knew who I wanted to work with and I also knew they get booked very quickly. After that I didn't do much until about 6 months out.

Each wedding is different, and depending on circumstances, distance, careers, etc there are lots of reasons to plan early or plan close to the date.

kvsingleton86 · September 2012

I got engaged January 2012 and we are getting married September 2013. I dont think there is anything wrong with planning YOUR wedding in advance. I have been planning since day 1 and have most of the minor details out of the way. That way I can relax and worry about the big things as they come up. I think this makes perfect sense especially for those on a budget because they can buy a little at a time without going into debt before their big day.

[Deleted User] · September 2012

Setting a date and getting a venue or any other in high demand vendor can be done early.

We are waiting on asking our attendants because we are toying around with the idea of a Destination wedding and we would want a smaller wedding party.

I don't think there are rules, it's just about using your head and not making rash decisions. A year is a long time and relationships change.

jemmini6 · September 2012

Well you shouldn't plan anything until you are actually engaged, which is something we see sometimes (other than very general things like if you want a big or small wedding, etc) because that's putting the cart before the horse, but once you are engaged, it's fine to dive in if you want.

However, if you are having a long engagement, we usually suggest to wait until a little closer for the aesthetic details because trends/tastes change and you don't want to risk putting a lot of money into something so early, then decide when it gets closer that you want something different. For the bigger details like venues, vendors, and budgets, it's pretty normal to get started on that kind of stuff early on because they can book up early depending on the season.

Regardless, it's your wedding to plan how you wish, if you want to buy your dress or something 2 years in advance, no one can tell you that's wrong. But based on our experience here seeing other posters who did similar things and now regret it, that's where our advice comes from to hold off on some of that stuff until you are a little closer to your wedding.

ashleycox8604 · September 2012

I just began officially planning, and our wedding isn't until August 16, 2013. When we went to look at venues and knew we wanted next August or September, the only date available to us for the venue we wanted was August 16. When I met with the photographer about a week and a half ago, he informed me that most of his dates for next summer were gone-and if we really wanted him to book ASAP because he has bridal shows coming up that he usually books up FAST at. We sent in the deposit late last week. As far as the rest of the details-we are planning our wedding from a different state, so we often try to do as much as possible whenever we are in Michigan-and are planning to sit down with a florist to get ideas, talk with our baker to make sure what we want is in our price range, and I'm going to start dress shopping when we go back at the end of November. The rest of our details we are waiting until the beginning of the 2013 to really decide on.

serena569 · September 2012

We're getting married in January 2014 and you bet we're planning now. We both come from large families and we want to get married at a pavillion in a local park. We needed to come up with a guest list and some basic room layouts so we know if we should rent one or both of the halls. Also, I'm doing most of the decorations and have already started cutting the 5000 or so snowflakes we'll be using.

But I am driving my mom and one of my good friends insane already with my what if questions.

cnf2013 · September 2012

We're having an 18 month engagement and we booked our venue about two or three weeks after we got engaged. Around us venues book up about two plus years in advance and everything else books around one to one and half years out. Based on knowing this is how we spaced out selecting vendors. Little things like decor and seating plans and whatnot are low on my list to get done. In fact, my coordinator won't even discuss this kind of stuff until after the six month mark, which is perfectly fine by me since I still need a baker and florist. Most of the things people tell girls not to plan or worry about yet are things that honestly don't matter until you get so close to your date. I'd suggest if your planning a long engagement to start booking some vendors if you're itching to do something.

KristenM1115 · September 2012

We are planning to get married May 2014. We have started looking at venues and gathering a guest list. This is just more practical for us because I am a teacher and during Jan-May my schedule is hectic. Also we live in the Tri State area... Bookings for 2014 are starting to fill. I think it really depends on the couple. Besides its fun to plan!

so where are these rules about how soon you can plan your wedding.

Re: so where are these rules about how soon you can plan your wedding.

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