Well, my fiance and I are scratching our heads over this one.
We're friends with a couple in Australia who just divorced. They'd been having tough times for the past few months, but I was hoping that they might be able to pull through. Sadly, they ended up having to part ways.
They had invited us to their wedding in 2010 and, although we couldn't make it, my fiance did write the readings for their ceremony so it was lovely to know we'd be there in spirit.
Of course we had always counted on inviting them to our wedding, but their very recent split makes us wonder
1. if either of them will still want to try to attend, since they don't know anyone at all except for us and each other, and it's an awfully long distance to travel under these circumstances; or
2. if either of them can afford to attend, since they're in the process of cleaning up their place and moving out (he's moving in with his parents and she's moving... or has moved?... with friends to a different city).
On the one hand, we don't want to rub salt in their wounds by sending them a wedding invite immediately after they've gone through such a tough split. But on the other hand, I also remember a post from RetreadBride in which she pointed out how hurtful it was when friends didn't invite her to their wedding, on the grounds that they "knew it would be depressing." She made a good point. We definitely don't want to alienate or condescend them.
It's also hard to tell if they're speaking to each other anymore; we're in pretty constant touch with him but she's kind of dropping off the face of the earth (both with her new ex and with everyone else).
We're currently afraid that
1. if we invite only him, it will look like we're taking sides, and she will be understandably hurt regardless of how hard it's been to get a hold of her.
2. if we invite them both (assuming we can get her new address and some contact from her), having them at the wedding together with a roomful of strangers could be awkward for them at best.
3. if we don't invite either of them, that could hurt both of them.
So, what are the well-intentioned bride and groom to do?