Shower and bachelorette party???

Re: Shower and bachelorette party???

• freebread03 member

  

  April 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_no-kids-at-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:cc5f5399-8706-419c-8916-1cef85da1f82Post:4fd044c3-a1e7-48d6-8548-65053d2abd81">Shower and bachelorette party???</a>:
  [QUOTE]So 3 of the 4 of my bridesmaids have kids. They said they are not bringing them to the shower and I figured that was a personal choice. Well I said something about my daughter and little cousin coming and they are saying they agreed no kids. My 2 yo is a good kid. I don't think it's fair she should miss out when I know she would have fun and be able to see family. Also some of my family is coming from out of town and if it was me, I wouldn't want to leave my child at home to go.  I don't understand why I can't have kids at the shower, but then they are invited to the wedding. So do I insist on kids or do what they want?? ETA: I figured I would have a small bachelorette party with a few close friends. My mom has a 7 passenger car and offered to drive us. Well the BM want to get a 20 passenger bus and want it filled so the bus will be payed for, which I understand. <strong>So I'm inviting people that I haven't talked to or seen in 2 years and I still don't have enough people for the bus. To get more people, they decided they are each going to bring a friend so there will be people there I don't even know.</strong> Do I say something about this or just let it go? Also is it tacky for everyone who is going on the bus to pay? I've gotten a party bus before and payed for it myself, I didn't charge people.
  Posted by alissarae09[/QUOTE]
  
  <div>First, if your friends who are hosting your shower say no kids, then no kids.  They are the hosts and they get to decide (though I do understand why you'd want kids there, and it doesn't seem crazy that you do).  To the second issue--so you've gone ahead and invited all these people that you haven' talked to or seen in 2 years to your wedding right?  And the friends of your bridesmaids that you've never met, you've extended wedding invitations to them as well?  Because anyone invited to a pre-wedding party really needs to be invited to the wedding as well.  </div>

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• alissarae09

  

  April 2012

  No I haven't. I knew this was the case for the shower, but idk that was for the bachelorette party as well. Thanks for clearing it up!!!

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• freebread03 member

  

  April 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_no-kids-at-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:cc5f5399-8706-419c-8916-1cef85da1f82Post:5a48d35e-ce38-4190-a034-c41e50d68794">Re: Shower and bachelorette party???</a>:
  [QUOTE]No I haven't. I knew this was the case for the shower, but idk that was for the bachelorette party as well. Thanks for clearing it up!!!
  Posted by alissarae09[/QUOTE]
  
  <div>
  </div><div>Yep, anyone invited to pre-wedding parties (including engagement parties, showers, bridal luncheons, AND bachelorette parties) need to be invited to the wedding.  It doesn't really sound like you really want to party with all the extra girls anyways, so just say no.</div>

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• MairePoppy mod

  

  April 2012

  The hosts get to decide on who is invited to your shower, from your wedding guest list. If they are saying no kids, then you should honor their decision. You will be too busy to keep an eye on your toddler and  a shower would probably be a very boring event for a 2-year old. She will not feel cheated on missing out on the shower. Those other moms will have to decide whether or not they wish to leave their children with babysitters to attend your shower. Parents have to make those decisions all the time.
  
  The people at your bp should be your nearest and dearest friends. It's silly to invite 20 people for the sole purpose of filling a bus. Tell your friends, thanks, but no thanks.
  
  Freebread is right, anyone who is invited to a pre-wedding event, must be invited to the wedding along with their significant others. That could add quite a few guests at your wedding.
  
  
  

                     

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• ShyDreamer00

  

  April 2012

  Their party-their rules, plain and simple. Just think if you were having a no children reception and everyone brought their kids because they didn't want to leave them at home. I'm a mom too and I think my little girl is adorable and well-behaved, but not everyone sees children in the same light. We are limiting children at our wedding and those who are hosting my bridal shower only invited children who are close to me-my daughter, FMIL's daughters, etc. However, we are renting a large space that happens to have a playground outside so I won't mind if children tagalong...but an invite to the shower is indicative of an invite to the wedding which is why the invites were only addressed to the women (no children's names).
  As for each individual paying their own way for the bachelorette party, I don't see any problem with that. For my FI's bachelor party that is what the guys are doing who wish to ride in the limo and not have to worry about driving-however, he's having about 20 guys and its 495.00 for 6 hours...so its a little less. Personally, its up to a bridesmaid if its in her budget, if a majority say no then you gotta go with the majority. If the one decides the night isn't for her, that's fine too...tell her you'll miss her and you'll have a drink in her honor, LOL!
  

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