intro

twoitalians · April 2010

hi! i'm michelle. i'm new here cuz i just got engaged a few weeks ago and right off the bat things have been hectic with planning cuz my guy and i are planning to get married on jan. 1st. so soon it feels like, but i'd rather not wait any longer LOL.

anyways, things are quickly falling into place (hopefully) cuz we've found the perfect venue, just waiting for the financier's approval (my mom). i guess there are actually a few things that i'd like to ask about so if anyone can give some insight that would be greatly appreciated.

number one: i've found my dress!!, i think. it's at david's bridal. i'm buying the dress and accessories myself so of course i want to do some looking at other places too. can anyone recommend any bridal shops in the tempe area? i'm not sure if i want to go to arizona bridal warehouse because i felt so stuffy when i've gone there before.

number two: i've been engaged before, over 4 years ago, and i had bought a dress back then. i was young and naive and the relationship ended before a marriage began (fortunately) but this time it's real and i'm ready and more mature. however, my parents and my sister keep finding ways to remind me about "last time." my tastes have changed but they keep suggesting ways to save money like using parts of the fabric from the other dress to maybe incorporate into what i'm looking for now, and pulling out stationary designs that i liked back then. all the references to "back then" or "last time" even made me accidentally call my fiance by my exes name!! he knows i was engaged before and his dad has the same name as my ex so i can't exclude saying the name at all. i guess what i'm looking for in advice here is how to overcome comparing between this time and "last time" because this time is going to be the only time, and my tastes are different now, and i just want my family to know this is for real.

so to have this so long and dragged out for a first post. thanks in advance for your help.

misscastle · April 2010

Welcome!

I'm interested in knowing what your "perfect venue" is! I live in Maryland, but am probably getting married in Phoenix, so I'm on the hunt for venues in the valley.

I don't really have any advice in terms of your previous engagement because I've never been in that situation. If it were me, though, I think I would have to have a talk with my family, politely but firmly telling them you don't appreciate the references to your past. We've all had missteps and made mistakes, and this is not the time in your life to be bringing up yours.

alschmid · April 2010

Hi Michelle! Welcome to the board.

I would really recommend Suzanne's bridal in Gilbert if you are looking for dresses. Seems like most people have a good experience there. Post some pictures of the dress you are considering!

I agree with maybe talking to your family about bringing up the past engagement. I can totally understand wanting to start over and picking up new things that you like etc. Sorry to hear that they have been a bit of a downer during such and exciting time!

LedZeppelin · April 2010

Hi Michelle! Congratulations on your engagment! It sounds like you're doing well with the planning. I would love to hear what your venue is, as well. I already have mine, but I'm just curious.

Unfortunately, I don't have any advice about the dress shops. I got mine at David's Bridal.

As for your family, I would have a heart-to-heart with them and tell them that it bothers you when they bring up your engagement to your ex. I actually had a very similar situation. I was also "engaged" to a previous boyfriend when I was younger, but it was ridiculous looking back on it. Myself and everyone else knew it was not for real. However, because of that my mom asked me at least 3 or 4 times if was SURE I really wanted to marry my current FI. It really upset me that she kept asking and I definitively said "yes" every time, but I never told her how much it bothered me and I should have. Thus, I think you should tell your family how much it bothers you. Tell them he's in your past for a reason and you would like him to stay in your past.

I would suggest selling your old dress, invitations, etc. and putting the money toward your wedding.

Hope that helps!

mgumms · April 2010

I second Suzanne's bridal. When you talk to your family, and I agree that you should, perhaps you could mention that their tastes are very different now than when they were ___ years old. Be honest about how it hurts you and I'm sure they'll get the hint.

Also, are you planning on using the same wedding colors? I know my wedding colors have been a big part of decision making for things like invitations. If your colors are different, maybe that will naturally steer the conversation towards the new and leave the old behind. Good luck and welcome to the board!

twoitalians · April 2010

Hi!
So my "perfect venue" is Ashley Manor. It's actually in Chandler which is south-ish of Phoenix, it's amazing. It has a garden courtyard and the reception hall on site is in my opinion more unique than any of the other "traditional" reception halls I've seen. Check it out if you're thinking of getting married in Phoenix http://www.ashleymanorweddings.com/Index.htm
They also have another building next door called The Castle at Ashley Manor if you're into the fairytale kinda thing

.

Other places to check out that were my favorites: Boojum Tree Hidden Gardens (by far my favorite if I could afford it!), The Wright House, Villa Sienna
Any of the resorts in the area (The Phoenician, Gainey Ranch, Royal Palms, Camelback Inn, etc.) are very nice, but not really my style so I didn't look at them. I will warn you about the event coordinator at Arizona Grand Resort, though. She seemed rushed and kinda irritated that we were looking at the venue, but it could just been the day.

Hope that give you some ideas!

Beckity · May 2010

I also third Suzanne's. Maybe also try Azteca- that's in downtown Phoenix.

Relatives can be rough sometimes- but it's you that has to be strong. Be straightforward about your intentions. Tell them flat-out that you will not be including any part of your old dress into your new wedding dress. In fact, that can sometimes be even more costly than just buying a new dress (alterations are outrageous!). I'm with Zeppelin. Be honest- but direct. As long as they know you're confident about how you feel, they'll stop bugging you about it.

intro

Re: intro

Amy & Ian

Choose Another Board

Search Boards