Can you fire your MOH?

Re: Can you fire your MOH?

• PenelopeSnuz

  

  March 2011 edited December 2011

  Your first mistake was thinking that she is obligated to cater to your every whim because you asked her to be your MOH.
  
  You can ask her to do wedding things with you, but she has the option to say no.  Being in a wedding does not make you obligated to do anything except buy a dress and walk down the aisle.
  
  Expecting her to chip in to pay for gas when you dragged her 8 hours in a car to do wedding things?!?!?! You realize how ridiculous that sounds, right?
  
  Relax.  She has a life outside your wedding.
  

  **Married 7/9/11**

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• mollysophia member

  

  March 2011 edited December 2011

  I agree with you, and I'm not really upset about the gas thing, as much as her, you know, not being a friend at all and not contributing to neither wedding planning nor our friendship.

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• M&R7111

  

  March 2011 edited December 2011

  Sure, you can - as long as you also intend to lose her as a friend.

  

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• kholle13 member

  

  March 2011 edited December 2011

  It sounds like she might be feeling a little bit jealous that you're getting married. If it were my best friend I would have a long talk with her to make sure that she does want to be in the wedding.  

  

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• TheDuckis member

  

  March 2011 edited December 2011

  Um, it doesn't sound like you're putting much into the friendship either. Do you want her to be your MOH because she's your best friend and you want her standing up with you on your wedding day, or do you want her to be your MOH so you can pawn off planning duties on her? Get your priorities straight.

  
  Crap...I Mean Crafts

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• jess9802 member

  

  March 2011 edited December 2011

  It's YOUR wedding. The only person who is required to help you plan it is your FI.

  Married Bio * BFP Chart

  

  
  

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• zitiqueen member

  

  March 2011 edited December 2011

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_can-fire-moh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:8843e6bf-7746-431c-a284-e87b695797e9Post:9e663a5a-3940-4c12-9ca5-e0cd13002a98">Can you fire your MOH?</a>:
  [QUOTE]I never thought I would be a bride who wants to smack my MOH. We've been best friends for a while, but I should have know giving her MOH duties was a mistake. She got kicked out of her sister's wedding because they were fighting and I didn't want to think people don't change. Over the last few months (I've been engaged for over a year) she's become disinterested and unhelpful. If she didn't want to be my MOH she could have said so. A few weeks ago we went back to my hometown where the wedding is and met with my step mom who was helping us get organized because we have 6 months left. The entire time she was on Facebook or on her internet dating site and didn't say one word, help pay for gas on the 8 hour drive, or try to interact with my family. And now after waiting a year for my dress to arrive, I have my first fitting tomorrow and when I propositioned her to go with me, she declined and said she was busy without me even telling her the date or time of the appointment. I don't need this stress right now, especially since I lost my job (which she didn't console me about) and our wedding is so soon. What should I do? I'd hate to not include her in my bridal party but she's not showing any interest and I don't want to waste my time.
  Posted by mollysophia[/QUOTE]
  
  MOH =/= unpaid slave labor.

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• zitiqueen member

  

  March 2011 edited December 2011

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_can-fire-moh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:8843e6bf-7746-431c-a284-e87b695797e9Post:fa80d730-d799-4279-a5d5-df50248ca319">Re: Can you fire your MOH?</a>:
  [QUOTE]I agree with you, and I'm not really upset about the gas thing, as much as her, you know, not being a friend at all and<strong> not contributing to neither wedding planning</strong> nor our friendship.
  Posted by mollysophia[/QUOTE]
  
  Planning your wedding isn't her responsibility.

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• ALebrecht

  

  March 2011 edited December 2011

  I didn't fire my moh, I demoted her to just a bridesmaids though.  I let my girls pick the dress as long as it was black and was flattering.  She bought a periwinkle blue piece of fabric that didn't even fit her.  That was just one of the many things she did to get demoted, but that was the final straw with me.  After I asked her to be my moh, she assumed that my FI and I would pay for her ticket, (we live 1800 miles away), pay for her dress, put her up in our house and pay for everything else, not to mention she was planning my bachelorette party for just to two of us, but expected me to pay for it too!!  She also was trying to demand what food would be served and even what kind of cake we would have.  So, she's actually lucky to still be my friend and even invited to the wedding.  My new MOH and another one of my bridesmaids are so wonderful because they ask me what they can do to help me, I don't dictate to them what I want them to do.  Maybe if you had a talk with her and tell her how you feel it will change her attitude.  Or you could do what I did and demote her.  And, I know it sounds snarky and bitchy to put it that way, but that's life, deal with what I was dealing with and you'd probably feel the same way. 

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• tesskerr member

  

  March 2011 edited December 2011

  I wouldn't worry about hurting her feelings if you fire her, it would probably be a relief to her not to deal with this BS.

  I was a bridemaid to a bride like you and I WISH I got fired.

  As soon as the wedding was over, I "divorced" her as my friend. Expecting your bridemaid to be your slave will ruin the friendship.

  Her job is to turn up in her dress on the day and smile in your photos.

  If you really want to keep her as a friend, take her to the movies, and don't mention your wedding. Be a friend first.

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• mollysophia member

  

  March 2011 edited December 2011

  Thank you for your help, Albrecht.

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• ALebrecht

  

  March 2011 edited December 2011

  No problem.  What kind of pooch is that?  My little guy is a Papillon and looks like he could be his brother... same colors and all that....

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• Caroli1210

  

  March 2011 edited December 2011

  If it's been over a year since you got engaged, can you really blame her for becoming disinterested? I would probably be over my OWN wedding after that long. Expecting her to pay for gas is crazy too, I think.

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