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What to do? Not sure what is proper.

jaybombjaybomb
First Comment
in Wedding Party
Hello! I've been using The Knot to help me plan for my August wedding. Didn't realize there were message boards, I'm happy to find them. I've obviously never been married before and haven't been to a wedding for 10 years, so I'm quite ignorant!

I apologize in advance if I am asking questions that have already been asked! It's always nice to get first-hand advice specific to your own situation :)

Just a tiny bit of background, as this is my very first post: We're having a small outdoor wedding; there are 66 people invited; there are 6 people in the WP including the MOH and Bman. Three boys, three girls, plus two sweet little girl FG's and our adorable RB.

For the WP, my brother, my best guy friend, and FI's close friend are standing up for my fiance. Now, this doesn't seem right to me, to have my best friend up there with my fiance. Shouldn't he be on my side with the girls? Also, we're having a few friends as guests and I think they might not agree with my FI having a guy up there he has only met once, instead of one of his life-long friends. Again, that doesn't make sense to me. I doubt they'd say anything, but still. I respect my FI's friends.

Now, if we move my buddy over to my side, can we "add" a GM? Is it too late? Would that be horribly rude? I've spoken to my friend already about possibly being moved to my side, which he's fine with and actually prefers, but really doesn't care, he's simply happy to be up there with us. We haven't asked our other friend yet if he wants to be in the WP on FI's side.

So, how should all this work?
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Re: What to do? Not sure what is proper.

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    Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    I would have your guy friend stand on your side since he is your close friend and not your FI.  Do not add any additional GMs...at this point whoever you ask will feel slighted and more like a prop to fill a spot to make your sides even then as someone you really want to have stand up with you.

    As far as you FI friends saying something about your guy friend standing on his side.  Honestly I doubt they will even notice let alone get upset or say something.  If they do that is very rude of them as they have absolutely no say as to who you or your FI have standing up for you two.

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    jaybombjaybomb
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_what-to-do-not-sure-what-is-proper?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:e955a405-b2a4-4d77-b520-b276eb902c57Post:5d25fd3c-c023-46f4-9171-ea19da3fad1f">Re: What to do? Not sure what is proper.</a>:
    [QUOTE]I would have your guy friend stand on your side since he is your close friend and not your FI.  Do not add any additional GMs...at this point whoever you ask will feel slighted and more like a prop to fill a spot to make your sides even then as someone you really want to have stand up with you. As far as you FI friends saying something about your guy friend standing on his side.  Honestly I doubt they will even notice let alone get upset or say something.  If they do that is very rude of them as they have absolutely no say as to who you or your FI have standing up for you two.
    Posted by Maggie0829[/QUOTE]

    Okay, I thought so. I'll see what any other replies say as well :) thanks!

    Now, this is just me talking out loud: I feel sort of bad that my FI would only have his BMan and my brother on his side, while I have my MOH, my sister, FI's sister, and my guy friend on mine. Would it really be so unreasonable to ask FI's buddy to stand up for him since we made an error in our planning and are now trying to correct it? Again, just talking out loud. Be nice!
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    GoodLuckBear14GoodLuckBear14 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    Why not have your FI's sister stand on his side?
    Proud to be an old married hag!! image
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    Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_what-to-do-not-sure-what-is-proper?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:e955a405-b2a4-4d77-b520-b276eb902c57Post:4ab9fd62-4e53-4784-a803-ffc113c8c784">Re: What to do? Not sure what is proper.</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: What to do? Not sure what is proper. : Okay, I thought so. I'll see what any other replies say as well :) thanks! Now, this is just me talking out loud: I feel sort of bad that my FI would only have his BMan and my brother on his side, while I have my MOH, my sister, FI's sister, and my guy friend on mine. Would it really be so unreasonable to ask FI's buddy to stand up for him since we made an error in our planning and are now trying to correct it? Again, just talking out loud. Be nice!
    Posted by jaybomb[/QUOTE]

    It really comes down to what your FI wants.  It is his side and he is the only one that should be deciding on who stands up for him.  I understand that this is not how you two worked this situation in the beginning but you need to stop forcing people on him.  He should have been allowed from the get-go to decide on his side himself without any input from you.

    But seeing as you are getting close to your wedding asking any additional people at this point no matter how well intentioned will just look bad.  Even if you tell them that they should have been asked in the beginning they will constantly wonder why they weren't included from the get-go. 

    You need to put yourself into their shoes and figure out how you would feel if a really good friend of yours was getting married and then about 3 months before her wedding she came up to you and said, "Sorry, I know that I should have included from the beginning but our planning sucked and now that our sides are uneven we would really like you to stand up for us."  That wouldn't make you feel very wanted would it?

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    aerinpegadrakaerinpegadrak member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    I think it's fine to move him.  Having my brother stand on DH's side would have made things even at 5 and 5, but they don't get along very well, so I moved him to my side to avoid drama and made it 6 and 4.  It worked out really well.
    This is a neglected planning bio.
    This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.

    image
    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
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    mbcdefgmbcdefg member
    5 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_what-to-do-not-sure-what-is-proper?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:e955a405-b2a4-4d77-b520-b276eb902c57Post:4ab9fd62-4e53-4784-a803-ffc113c8c784">Re: What to do? Not sure what is proper.</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: What to do? Not sure what is proper. : Okay, I thought so. I'll see what any other replies say as well :) thanks! Now, this is just me talking out loud: I feel sort of bad that my FI would only have his BMan and my brother on his side, while I have my MOH, my sister, FI's sister, and my guy friend on mine. Would it really be so unreasonable to ask FI's buddy to stand up for him since we made an error in our planning and are now trying to correct it? Again, just talking out loud. Be nice!
    Posted by jaybomb[/QUOTE]


    Stop thinking of all these people as Yours vs. His. The bottom line is that they are all standing there to support BOTH of you. You are honoring your friends, not staging a popularity contest where the person with fewer attendants is the loser.

    Why do you want to ask this extra groomsman? If it's because your fiance has become closer to him in recent months, then go ahead.

    If it's because your fiance wanted to ask him in the beginning but left him out to have even sides, then I would *really* eat some crow and apologize profusely to him for being so petty, if you really want to include him.

    If it's primarily to even the sides out again or to make your fiance's side look bulkier, then don't ask.
    image
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    jaybombjaybomb
    First Comment
    I can't figure out how to multi-quote on this site, so I'm just going to go through and do each one separately...bear with me :)
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    jaybombjaybomb
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_what-to-do-not-sure-what-is-proper?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:e955a405-b2a4-4d77-b520-b276eb902c57Post:b99f2fce-8400-4913-9b58-6784c7833f3d">Re: What to do? Not sure what is proper.</a>:
    [QUOTE]Why not have your FI's sister stand on his side?
    Posted by GoodLuckBear14[/QUOTE]

    Ooh, I don't know, wouldn't that be rude too? "Sorry future-sis, but you need to go over there now"...I'd feel like a jerk!
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    jaybombjaybomb
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_what-to-do-not-sure-what-is-proper?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:e955a405-b2a4-4d77-b520-b276eb902c57Post:0d5ba7c5-fbcf-49c8-94e1-2491fa7c61f9">Re: What to do? Not sure what is proper.</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: What to do? Not sure what is proper. : It really comes down to what your FI wants.  It is his side and he is the only one that should be deciding on who stands up for him.  I understand that this is not how you two worked this situation in the beginning but <strong>you need to stop forcing people on him.  He should have been allowed from the get-go to decide on his side himself without any input from you</strong>. But seeing as you are getting close to your wedding asking any additional people at this point no matter how well intentioned will just look bad.  Even if you tell them that they should have been asked in the beginning they will constantly wonder why they weren't included from the get-go.  You need to put yourself into their shoes and figure out how you would feel if a really good friend of yours was getting married and then about 3 months before her wedding she came up to you and said, "Sorry, I know that I should have included from the beginning but our planning sucked and now that our sides are uneven we would really like you to stand up for us."  That wouldn't make you feel very wanted would it?
    Posted by Maggie0829[/QUOTE]

    I just want to clarify right out the gate that I never "forced" anyone on him, we made these decisions together. I wasn't even the one that brought it up to have my buddy on his side, FI was!

    Our wedding is three months away, but we just got engaged in April. Trying to get 'er done while the grandparents are still around. Just a side note :)

    Also has nothing to do with even sides, because even if we did add a third to my FI's side, we'd still be at 4 and 3. That is not the issue here.

    You are correct, it does come down to what my FI wants. I guess what I'll do then is move my buddy over, and FI can add his friend if he wants to.
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    GoodLuckBear14GoodLuckBear14 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_what-to-do-not-sure-what-is-proper?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:e955a405-b2a4-4d77-b520-b276eb902c57Post:a170bf1f-a124-447e-ad62-3f180cc61b5b">Re: What to do? Not sure what is proper.</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: What to do? Not sure what is proper. : Ooh, I don't know, wouldn't that be rude too? "Sorry future-sis, but you need to go over there now"...I'd feel like a jerk!
    Posted by jaybomb[/QUOTE]

    How is it rude?  Have your FI ask her.  If one of my brothers had wanted me to stand with him after my SILs asked me to a a BM, I wouldn't have been offended in the least.
    Proud to be an old married hag!! image
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    jaybombjaybomb
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_what-to-do-not-sure-what-is-proper?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:e955a405-b2a4-4d77-b520-b276eb902c57Post:66bc072a-fb37-4fcf-8418-c88126c9416e">Re: What to do? Not sure what is proper.</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: What to do? Not sure what is proper. : Stop thinking of all these people as Yours vs. His. The bottom line is that they are all standing there to support BOTH of you. You are honoring your friends, not staging a popularity contest where the person with fewer attendants is the loser. Why do you want to ask this extra groomsman? If it's because your fiance has become closer to him in recent months, then go ahead. If it's because your fiance wanted to ask him in the beginning but left him out to have even sides, then I would *really* eat some crow and apologize profusely to him for being so petty, if you really want to include him. If it's primarily to even the sides out again or to make your fiance's side look bulkier, then don't ask.
    Posted by mbcdefg[/QUOTE]

    Um, lol, sorry, I was just trying to easily differentiate between, well, "his" side and "my" side! Yes, they are there to support both of us, but one group stands on the groom's side, one stands on my side. I'm not "possessing" these people!

    And of course it's not a popularity contest, wtf?! Why would you even say that?

    Why do we want to ask this extra groomsmen? Well, as explained, we were mistaken in putting my guy friend on FI's side when in fact he should be on my side. My FI has always been close to this "new" guy, and realized that he wants him standing up there with him, regardless of whether or not we move my buddy over to "my" side. Again, it's not because we wanted even sides, because in this scenario, FI would have 4 and I would have 3. Not a biggie!!

    It's not about having FI's side "look bulkier", although I will say that for me personally, I'd like if he felt like he had support from his own buds instead of mine.
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    jaybombjaybomb
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_what-to-do-not-sure-what-is-proper?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:e955a405-b2a4-4d77-b520-b276eb902c57Post:4b46f53a-39a6-4b96-ae3f-583bbbfda2b9">Re: What to do? Not sure what is proper.</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: What to do? Not sure what is proper. : <strong>How is it rude?</strong>  Have your FI ask her.  If one of my brothers had wanted me to stand with him after my SILs asked me to a a BM, I wouldn't have been offended in the least.
    Posted by GoodLuckBear14[/QUOTE]

    I'm not sure, that's why I asked :)
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    aragx6aragx6 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    If you wanted you could just call them all Honor Attendants, have them walk down the aisle and then sit down. Then they wouldn't stand on anyone's side!

    But the sides don't have to be even -- lots of people's aren't (my own included) so don't let that worry you!
    Lizzie
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    jaybombjaybomb
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_what-to-do-not-sure-what-is-proper?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:e955a405-b2a4-4d77-b520-b276eb902c57Post:60cd1700-5007-4ab3-9e24-61b8a8f8db1d">Re: What to do? Not sure what is proper.</a>:
    [QUOTE]If you wanted you could just call them all Honor Attendants, have them walk down the aisle and then sit down. Then they wouldn't stand on anyone's side! But the sides don't have to be even -- lots of people's aren't (my own included) so don't let that worry you!
    Posted by aragx6[/QUOTE]

    That's an idea I haven't heard before. I don't think I will do it that way though, as I'd hate to have the six (or seven, depending on what we do) of them purchase certain clothes just to sit with the guests, y'know?

    Hmmm. What to do what to do! Maybe I'm just over thinking things.

    On a super-exciting note, I get to pick up my dress from the post office tonight!!
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    mbcdefgmbcdefg member
    5 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker
    <em><strong>Um, lol, sorry, I was just trying to easily differentiate between, well, "his" side and "my" side! Yes, they are there to support both of us, but one group stands on the groom's side, one stands on my side. I'm not "possessing" these people!

    <u>And of course it's not a popularity contest, wtf?! Why would you even say that?</u></strong></em>

    Because of this:



    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_what-to-do-not-sure-what-is-proper?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:e955a405-b2a4-4d77-b520-b276eb902c57Post:4ab9fd62-4e53-4784-a803-ffc113c8c784">Re: What to do? Not sure what is proper.</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: What to do? Not sure what is proper. : Okay, I thought so. I'll see what any other replies say as well :) thanks! Now, this is just me talking out loud: <u>I feel sort of bad that my FI would only have his BMan and my brother on his side, while I have my MOH, my sister, FI's sister, and my guy friend on mine. </u>Would it really be so unreasonable to ask FI's buddy to stand up for him since we made an error in our planning and are now trying to correct it? Again, just talking out loud. Be nice!
    Posted by jaybomb[/QUOTE]

    Your concern seems to be that your fiance would somehow feel bad if you wound up having more attendants than him. That's where the "popularity contest" comment came from.

    Really, it doesn't matter. It's not a matter of who has more friends. Again, all these people are standing for BOTH of you, so it's not like he's less-liked than you if he just so happens to have fewer attendants. Each of you should ask who you want without caring how it'll look or how many people will be on each side. If you want them, ask them - that is the sole criteria. It makes it a million times harder if you choose to include other criteria, such as numbers or who's "representing" who.

    Our wedding party consisted of my friend and my sister as bridesmaids, and my brother and MH's friend as groomsmen. So technically "I had" three people and MH had one. But they were all there for both of us and nobody felt bad. Nobody asked us why MH only had one person of his "choice" in the bridal party. I would've had my brother on my own side had MH not wanted him as a groomsman because it was important to me to include my brother, but he and my brother are friends so it was fine. And MH was free to ask anyone he wanted, but he chose to ask one friend and that was that.
    image
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    jaybombjaybomb
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_what-to-do-not-sure-what-is-proper?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:e955a405-b2a4-4d77-b520-b276eb902c57Post:cc4a6d10-4e5e-4966-9b9a-fda2f41ffa26">Re: What to do? Not sure what is proper.</a>:
    [QUOTE]Move your boys to your side, and if your FI has someone that he wanted to ask but didn't in order to keep the sides even, have him apologize and ask them now.  If there isn't anyone else he wants to ask particularly, don't ask anyone else and have uneven sides. As for his sister, if he would like for her to stand on his side, I don't think it is rude to move her to his side.  It literally affects nothing but which side of you guys she stands on on the wedding day.  She can still be invtied to anything the other BMs are invited to. 
    Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

    Thanks for your advice! I will point out though, that I have said at least twice in my previous postings that it has nothing to do with even sides :) 
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    jaybombjaybomb
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_what-to-do-not-sure-what-is-proper?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:e955a405-b2a4-4d77-b520-b276eb902c57Post:df98c07d-f0ff-4c34-9482-6e1e90fd9751">Re: What to do? Not sure what is proper.</a>:
    [QUOTE]Um, lol, sorry, I was just trying to easily differentiate between, well, "his" side and "my" side! Yes, they are there to support both of us, but one group stands on the groom's side, one stands on my side. I'm not "possessing" these people! And of course it's not a popularity contest, wtf?! Why would you even say that? Because of this: In Response to Re: What to do? Not sure what is proper. : Your concern seems to be that your fiance would somehow feel bad if you wound up having more attendants than him. That's where the "popularity contest" comment came from. Really, it doesn't matter. It's not a matter of who has more friends. Again, all these people are standing for BOTH of you, so it's not like he's less-liked than you if he just so happens to have fewer attendants. Each of you should ask who you want without caring how it'll look or how many people will be on each side. If you want them, ask them - that is the sole criteria. It makes it a million times harder if you choose to include other criteria, such as numbers or who's "representing" who. Our wedding party consisted of my friend and my sister as bridesmaids, and my brother and MH's friend as groomsmen. So technically "I had" three people and MH had one. But they were all there for both of us and nobody felt bad. Nobody asked us why MH only had one person of his "choice" in the bridal party. I would've had my brother on my own side had MH not wanted him as a groomsman because it was important to me to include my brother, but he and my brother are friends so it was fine. And MH was free to ask anyone he wanted, but he chose to ask one friend and that was that.
    Posted by mbcdefg[/QUOTE]

    You misunderstood me. Either that, or you're looking to argue.

    No, it DOES NOT matter if one of us has more on one "side" than the other. Read my posts!

    I'm simply trying to do what WE want, my FI and I, while still doing things properly. WE WANT to move my friend over to "my" side and include another of FI's friends at the same time. My understanding now is that both of those things are okay, if it's what WE want. 

     
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    jaybombjaybomb
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_what-to-do-not-sure-what-is-proper?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:e955a405-b2a4-4d77-b520-b276eb902c57Post:a62e0a66-380c-475a-8ea8-0255c3b620bf">Re: What to do? Not sure what is proper.</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: What to do? Not sure what is proper. : And I will point out that I didn't accuse you of it actually being about different sides.  I was just stating general advice for the situation, so that when other brides read this, it can help them too.
    Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

    Okay, great.  
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    mbcdefgmbcdefg member
    5 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_what-to-do-not-sure-what-is-proper?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:e955a405-b2a4-4d77-b520-b276eb902c57Post:73aae6a2-4113-413c-87ef-1a2b0cf74570">Re: What to do? Not sure what is proper.</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: What to do? Not sure what is proper. : <strong>You misunderstood me. Either that, or you're looking to argue. No, it DOES NOT matter if one of us has more on one "side" than the other. Read my posts! </strong>I'm simply trying to do what WE want, my FI and I, while still doing things properly. WE WANT to move my friend over to "my" side and include another of FI's friends at the same time. My understanding now is that both of those things are okay, if it's what WE want.   
    Posted by jaybomb[/QUOTE]


    I think this is what's throwing people off, in that case:

    <strong><em>I feel sort of bad that my FI would only have his BMan and my brother on his side, while I have my MOH, my sister, FI's sister, and my guy friend on mine. Would it really be so unreasonable to ask FI's buddy to stand up for him since we made an error in our planning and are now trying to correct it? </em></strong>

    This is what is (or was) making it unclear as to whether you wanted to ask this new guy to be a groomsman so that the sides could be more evened out, or because you genuinely want him.

    If you genuinely want him, numbers be damned, then ask.
    image
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    jaybombjaybomb
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_what-to-do-not-sure-what-is-proper?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:e955a405-b2a4-4d77-b520-b276eb902c57Post:cc4f104e-7d37-4de0-920d-f641d1cc665a">Re: What to do? Not sure what is proper.</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: What to do? Not sure what is proper. : I think this is what's throwing people off, in that case: I feel sort of bad that my FI would only have his BMan and my brother on his side, while I have my MOH, my sister, FI's sister, and my guy friend on mine. Would it really be so unreasonable to ask FI's buddy to stand up for him since we made an error in our planning and are now trying to correct it? This is what is (or was) making it unclear as to whether you wanted to ask this new guy to be a groomsman so that the sides could be more evened out, or because you genuinely want him. If you genuinely want him, numbers be damned, then ask.
    Posted by mbcdefg[/QUOTE]

    Okay, I see what you're saying now. I didn't say that right - well, right to me, but I see now that it was not understood how I meant it to be.

    I'm not even sure how to explain that properly, lol. Really, I was just talking - well, typing I should say, lol. I just don't want FI to feel like he's getting crapped on by not allowing him to add his buddy to "his" side after realizing that my buddy should be on "my" side.

    Numbers be damned is right, lol, like I said even if we did add this dude, the numbers would still be off.

    I dunno, like I said maybe I'm just over-thinking this. We'll add him, and I have no problem admitting to poor planning! My mom and I joke that by the time my youngest brother gets married, we'll have this wedding thing down to a science!
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    aragx6aragx6 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_what-to-do-not-sure-what-is-proper?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:e955a405-b2a4-4d77-b520-b276eb902c57Post:768a57b5-6348-4415-821a-12bb42f5cdc6">Re: What to do? Not sure what is proper.</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: What to do? Not sure what is proper. : That's an idea I haven't heard before. I don't think I will do it that way though, as I'd hate to have the six (or seven, depending on what we do) of them purchase certain clothes just to sit with the guests, y'know? Hmmm. What to do what to do! Maybe I'm just over thinking things. On a super-exciting note, I get to pick up my dress from the post office tonight!!
    Posted by jaybomb[/QUOTE]

    I was in a Catholic wedding and only the MOH and BM stood up at the altar. The rest of the WP was seated during the ceremony. I definitely still felt like a bridesmaid. And standing in heels isn't really all that pleasant anyway.
    Lizzie
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    jaybombjaybomb
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_what-to-do-not-sure-what-is-proper?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:e955a405-b2a4-4d77-b520-b276eb902c57Post:dae50d1d-fdd5-4700-8f7d-bbbbb2c8fbd2">Re: What to do? Not sure what is proper.</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: What to do? Not sure what is proper. : I was in a Catholic wedding and only the MOH and BM stood up at the altar. The rest of the WP was seated during the ceremony. I definitely still felt like a bridesmaid. And standing in heels isn't really all that pleasant anyway.
    Posted by aragx6[/QUOTE]

    I'll definitely keep this in mind! Thanks :)
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    jaybombjaybomb
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_what-to-do-not-sure-what-is-proper?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:e955a405-b2a4-4d77-b520-b276eb902c57Post:4e1933f2-83b3-4307-8028-b6bb102cad7a">Re: What to do? Not sure what is proper.</a>:
    [QUOTE]Jaybomb, welcome to the boards.  You may find that it would be good to re-read your posts before posting them.  Oftentimes with new posters, what seems clear to them is not always clear to us.  I promise no-one here was trying to be argumentative, it's just that you didn't explain it out.  You've received some great advice here.
    Posted by 1covejack[/QUOTE]

    I see what you're saying. At the same time, it would be nearly impossible to word things in such a way that every possible misunderstanding could be avoided, you know? I'm not new to forums by any means, and I definitely understand the importance of proper explanations in order to get proper advice.

    So, we're adding the other GM for sure, and since our families seem to think it's very strange to have my buddy on "my" side, we're just going to leave it alone and keep him standing on FI's side. Like you guys said, he's there for both of us, so it doesn't really matter where he stands during the ceremony.

    Thanks again everyone, case closed! :)
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