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Catholic Weddings

Converted or Converting now...

Who was/is your sponsor?  How did you pick them?  I read that you can pick one from someone that you know who is a practicing Catholic or they will assign you one.

FI and I had discussed him being my sponsor until we found out that he can't.  His new job has training on Monday nights and that is when RCIA classes are!  I'm kind of bummed about that... he mentioned his mom being my sponsor instead last night when we were discussing the issue.  I love FMIL and she is more involved in the church and I'm sure she will be a great sponsor but I'm still kind of bummed about not getting to spend the time with FI.
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Re: Converted or Converting now...

  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    when i made confirmation (not as a convert, i was born and raised catholic) my sister was my sponsor.

    its not really about spending time with someone, its about having someone there to support you adn guide you in the faith.  i think your FMIL would be a great choice if she's involved, and it will make a nice bond between the two of you.
  • edited December 2011
    One of the girls in my RCIA classes had her FMIL as her sponsor. I thought it was really nice they shared that bond.
    I had someone my age as my sponsor. We were assigned to each other. We're pretty good friends after going through the process and I'm so glad that we got to know each other through the 2 years.
  • edited December 2011
    Thanks, I know it isn't about spending time with them like buddy buddy hang out time... I just was looking forward to having a deeper bond in faith with FI.  I know that FMIL will be awesome and she is a great person and willing to help us in any way.  She is involved and serves at the church so I know that she will be a great sponsor.
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  • agapecarrieagapecarrie member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 100 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    FI and spouses are not a good choice for sponsorship anyway. The relationship is meant to be somewhat "mentoring". , but also , because the sponsor has a vested interest in the outcome and their objectivity can be called into question.
  • edited December 2011
    My sponsor was my best friend. She had already offered me a lot of support as I was seeking information about the faith and trying to find my way spiritually. When I started RCIA, another friend (who was on the RCIA team at our parish) suggested I ask her to be my sponsor, and I did. It was a great choice, because she had already mentored me in my faith so much and continued to do so. We were best friends before, and I know that the experience helped us to bond even more. 

    I think not having your fi as your sponsor is probably a blessing, because it will give you the opportunity to learn your faith and develop your spirituality independent of him. You can still use it as an opportunity to strengthen your relationship. After class, talk to him about what you learned, what you got from it, what questions you still, what his take on the topic is, etc.  Meanwhile, you'll also be developing your relationship with another Catholic, who can offer invaluable support on your journey.
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  • edited December 2011
    Ditto  mcdol3. My sponsor was assigned to me. She is one year older than I am and we had a lot in common. She was a newly wed and her husband was my FI's sponsor as well. We are still really good friends, and we now have a Bible study group every weekend. You will always remember this person, and a special bond is fostered. I think your FMIL would be a great choice.
  • edited December 2011
    GeorgiaPeach: That's awesome you guys are still in contact. My sponsor/friend and I were thinking of doing a bible study as well. She's actually going to do some training on how to lead a faith study. When we go to the Catholic Book Store here I'll see what her and I can find.
  • edited December 2011
    I thought that you should know that FI could not be your sposor any way. This is becuase the sponser of an RCIA candidate is supposed to be a spiritual parent. Since you will be marrying your wonderful man he can not be a parent for you. Your sponsor is meant to give you a person to look up to as a earthly spiritual guide. I hope this makes you feel better. The best thing that you can do is find someone that you look up to in the Catholic Church for the way that they live their Catholic faith.  This is a great blessing for you I hope and pray that you see the graces that you will be given through the Sacraments of the Church. I am a convert to the church as well, in college, and work with Catholic College students on a daily basis. I know that it seems this could be a great time to bring your FI in closer but it is really a chance for you to find your faith. If you want him to be involved then bring your homework home. Pray with him, Go to adoration as often as possible it is the greatest gift that the Church has, a chance to sit in the direct presence of the OUR LORD JESUS. Go to mass every Sunday and during the week if you can. Go to confession so that you can be a whole person when you are with you FI.  The Graces that you will bring in to your marriage will be greater than I can even tell you I hope that you have the most holy and blessed marriage and coming in to the Church. Get really excited you are joining one of the greatest families in the world and the best, largest families in the world.

    Your Sister in Christ,
    Halfpass
  • mswood1977mswood1977 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    My MIL was my sponser (she was my FMIL at the time).  Our church, and most others that I know of, don't allow spouses and FI's to be sponsors so it is possible that your FI wouldn't have been allowed to sponsor you anyway.  I found having my MIL as my sponsor (and god mother since I was baptized and confirmed) was a great bonding experience for the both of us.
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  • edited December 2011
    My husband's Grandma was my sponsor for when I went through RCIA. My deacon told me H could be a sponsor, but they did not recommend it. However, there were 2 other couples who were engaged in my class of which one was the sponsor and the other was the catechumen.

    We were not engaged at the time that I started RCIA, but knew that was where we were heading. H couldn't do it anyway bc he moved out of state for his job shortly after I began RCIA. I also felt that by not choosing him, I would be able to make sure I was making the decision for me and not him to become Catholic.

    For the people in my class that did not have a sponsor, our deacon had a list of parishoners that were willing to sponsor anyone. A few of the people in my class ended up going that route and they turned out to be great sponsors. So many of them went through the program and got so much out of it and try to give it back.

    Good luck!
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  • edited December 2011
    Thank you all.  As far as I know he could (if he wasn't otherwise busy with work) be my sponsor.  Many of our friends who live close and go to other churches in the area have had one convert while the other was already Catholic and they were their SO's  sponsor.  I do agree that having FMIL as my sponsor will be a great bonding experience for us. 

    I asked her on Sunday about this and she said "of course, she would be more than happy to do that for me". 
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