Virgin Brides or Abstinent Brides?

sweetspirit0121 · December 2012

Are you out there? Is anyone nervous for the wedding night?

anssett · December 2012

I will definitely not be a virgin bride, but I was once a virgin ;-)

I'd encourage you to keep your expectations realistic. Sex isn't like in movies. Everything won't be smooth, easy, clear, perfect, orgasmic, long (virgin men typically come VERY fast - but that changes with experience), etc. Focus on the parts along the way, not just the intercourse. Enjoy the foreplay, take your time, enjoy each other, and realize that it gets better in general, and as you and your partner explore each other.

If you don't masturbate and don't know much about how you like to be touched, consider some exploration alone, or realize you'll be starting from scratch with him. He won't know how to touch you in pleasant ways if you can't show him, or you guys will have to figure it out together. The same goes for how you touch him. He's probably masturbated but this is totally differend.

Good luck and try not to put too much fantasy onto your wedding night because sex is messy, sweaty, bumpy, really awkward at first, but also fantastic with the right partner.

cwaggoner07 · December 2012

You also might try visiting the Christian Weddings Board, as there are probably a lot of girls over there in your same situation. Good luck!

MoonlightSilver · December 2012

Bring and USE lube.

HoneyBunny13 · December 2012

^^ This. Very important. I'm in neither category but I think it's awesome that you've decided to wait for your wedding night. That's a special decision and I kind of wish I had waited.

znd13 · December 2012

I'm here! I used to be nervous. But not so much anymore. I guess I am just 'ready'. lol

hoffse · December 2012

Like PPs said, it's unlikely to be magical the first time. Like anything else it takes practice, sometimes a lot of practice. Just enjoy getting to know each other and try not to be embarassed when things go wrong (they will). There are noises, smells, sensations, etc. that aren't always flattering but they are normal. If you are realistic and are determined not to be shy about it, it will be great. I promise your FI won't be focused on any flaws or imperfections - he is likely to be even more nervous than you are because men build sex up to be this sort of competitive thing where they are expected to "perform." Just relax and try to enjoy it.

2012FutureMrsB · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_virgin-brides-or-abstinent-brides?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:b53e2961-b472-4f93-a913-39e7ed1b2859Post:80f8033b-ca93-4b74-966d-ee111e3ecd59">Virgin Brides or Abstinent Brides?</a>:
[QUOTE]Are you out there? Is anyone nervous for the wedding night?
Posted by sweetspirit0121@yahoo.com[/QUOTE]

My DH and I were both virgins when we got married 6 months ago. We were both nervous and exhausted but also very excited. One of the important things is to talk about it beforehand, even though this might feel a bit awkward. It's important that you are both on the same page before the wedding night. For us, it was important to "go for it" on the wedding night, even though we knew we'd be tired, since we had waited so long and it was very special to us. But we also knew it would probably be short and sweet.

(This might be TMI, but hopefully it will help give you a realistic idea): We ended up showering together at the hotel, which was perfect! Nice way to break the ice and get comfortable together and relaxed without the actual sex part right away. Then we got in bed with some lube and made out for awhile. Husband went it, it hurt a bit so he stopped and didn't go in further. It only lasted about 1-2 minutes and then we were done, mostly because we were too tired to do anything more. And we also realized that we had unexpected physical "problems" that we didn't know about and now have to deal with in our marriage. But this has brought us closer together as we see doctors and are there for each other through this time.

So, bottom line is, talk about your expectations. Don't feel obligated to "do it" on the wedding night if you're too tired or just not quite ready, but if you do try it, realize that it will be far from perfect. And if you do encounter problems, as we have, stick it out and work through it together. Life is not perfect, but difficult things can bring people together if they communicate and work together.

Virgin Brides or Abstinent Brides?

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