Closed.

Jess&DerekFTW · March 2010

Never mind. I'm over it. We had a talk, both got our parts out there, had a cry, and now we're cool again.

RachNRich · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_bridesmaid-mememe?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2b0a5549-85d7-4c58-bb0b-a4f7950b06cePost:7d81816c-ad6c-4a59-b239-dd8c0d97ab9f">My Bridesmaid is all MEMEME</a>:
[QUOTE]Okay, so I'm having a bit of an issue with one of my bridesmaids. She got engaged a few weeks ago. This happened mostly because she was constantly bitching at her boyfriend (she even admitted that she was bitching) because they'd been together for 5 years and weren't engaged. I've been engaged for a little over a year and am in the process of planning my wedding, which will take place a full year and a half BEFORE hers. I get that she's excited, b<strong>ut is it wrong for me to be a little irritated that she won't shut up about it?</strong> She'll offer to give me input on stuff I need help deciding that impacts her (dresses for bridesmaids--she's one of them--etc.), but then do a 180 and act like I'm a bitch for wanting her help and not letting her go "MEMEMEMEME" about her wedding. I'm also feeling bad because they're having this huge, expensive, elaborate wedding and my fiance and I are having a much smaller one. I feel like I'm not doing the wedding thing the right way for some stupid reason. <strong>How do I deal?</strong> Also, she's obsessed with wearing a red dress, even though she weighs close to 250 pounds and the color and style of the dress is not flattering on her at all. She knows this, I think, but her rationale is that she wants to "really stand out" from her bridal party (I'm a bridesmaid in her wedding). Meanwhile, her fiance is pretty much never mentioned in her talk of wedding plans. How do I tell her she's being sort of a bridezilla? How do I kindly, gently suggest different colors and styles that would be way more flattering on her? I want her to look so pretty on her big day! I don't want her to look like the Kool-Aid man. Help?
Posted by Jess&DerekFTW[/QUOTE]

<div>Yes. </div><div>
</div><div>How do you deal? You deal by shutting your trap--let her be excited. And, for gods sake, if she wants to wear a damn red dress--she can. </div>

Jess&DerekFTW · March 2010

Christ, there's no need to get pissy. I haven't said anything to her. It's just bothering me a little, that's all. And her other maids think the dress is a bad idea, too--they just decided I should be the one to tell her. Ugh...

RachNRich · March 2010

You came on a message board to complain about your friend, asking how you deal with her, and how you tell her she's being a bridezilla---I gave you my opinion, and my opinion was to STFU about it.

If you really want her to stop talking about her wedding/not wear a red dress--just email her the link to your post; I'm sure she'll get the idea.

Jess&DerekFTW · March 2010

I don't mean to seem like a shitty friend. I just have a lot of stuff to figure out right now and she's digging her heels in and completely refusing to help, period. I love her to death, but she's making me feel bad about my own planning--like, as I said, I'm not doing the "wedding thing" properly because it's going to be small.

Jess&DerekFTW · March 2010

Mostly, figuring out what the hell the bridesmaids are going to wear--I don't want to dictate styles, but she keeps picking out really flashy dresses whenever she offers to help. My fiance and I have some stuff figured out, but what bothers me is that she'll offer to help (my MOH has mono right now and can't do much of anything, which is understandable) but then turn around and start talking about her wedding (namely, how expensive and big it's going to be). I love her to death and want her to be happy (I'm helping her with hers as we speak, actually--looking for dresses to go with her red), but I'm starting to feel crappy because we're poor.

EDIT: It's not that I'm "letting" her make me feel bad, but it just gets to me after a while, you know? Like, I'll ask her opinion on something and she'll come back with her own plans, which are bigger and better than what we want or can afford. I know it's dumb to feel bad. I'm trying to move past that.

[Deleted User] · March 2010

I'm always shocked by the way that people talk about their friends. If I had a friend that I felt that way about, she would not be in my wedding and I would not be in hers. It just seems so immature.

It sounds to me like you are jealous. You need to get over it.

amagwire · March 2010

She's just excited that she's newly engaged. I'm sure that's all you could think about for the first few weeks. If you can't deal with her talking about it all the time, then don't involve her as much in your own wedding, and you won't have to hear it.

Lenore2010 · March 2010

Let's break this down a little:

You say you feel bad because she can afford a more lavish wedding than yours and you say you know it's something you need to get past.

Okay, so you acknowledged that is your issue. Good.

You say she keeps talking about her own wedding. Well, she has been engaged two weeks after a five year long relationship. It is entirely possible that someone planning her own wedding is not going to be much help with yours, so put her in a dress and seek other's help. You say she keeps picking flashy dresses. We all have different tastes. If you hate hers, pick the bridesmaid's dresses and be done with it.

As to the red wedding dress, I think a plus size woman could actually end up looking better in the red dresses than some of the white poofy princess cupcake numbers out there. It sounds like you have pretty different tastes, anyway. Tread very lightly if she has her heart set on a dress, and in NO way relate your dislike of the dress to her size.

FutureMrsJGraves · March 2010

Wow.. all I seem to read here is hate hate hate.

I just want to suggest to you that since she is a new bride and might be picking The Knot as her goto website, and your name and FH name are what you use to post with, that you should refrain from spewing hateful stuff about her weight, and how she 'made' her boyfriend give a ring to her after 5 years.

Really, you need to grow up, the months leading up to your wedding are not a spotlight for you and only you. If you have a problem with the dress she picks out for YOUR wedding, list a few styles, and the color you want it in, and let her pick from those. Also, from how I read your post, it looks like she is just a bridesmaid, and not the MOH. So really, why do you need this particular bridesmaid's help in reguards to wedding planing.

psichick · March 2010

she is newly engaged. of course she's excited and will talk about it constantly. what do you think YOU did when you first got engaged? lol

as for the lavish wedding, it could change. and just because someone has a very large budget doesn't mean it's going to be a nice wedding. both beautiful and tacky can be done with 1k or 100k. so just concentrate on your day, and don't worry about hers because there's nothing you can do about it.

and by your own admission she IS helping with what you need her to (the BM dresses) but then just going on and on about her own wedding. smile and nod and deal with it, or go bridezilla and tell her to shut up. it's up to you.

as for the red......is she chinese? that's traditional in chinese culture. it would look at little weird for someone else to wear red, but if it's what she wants then she should go for it. you don't have to like it, it's her day. red can be very beautiful and many designers offer their dresses in red. and it will probably look more figure flattering than white on her anyway (since you know you had to mention her weight).

jessicaanderik · March 2010

Wow, you sound like an awesome friend.

I really want to know why being 250 pounds means she shouldn't wear a red dress. I certainly hope that since I am on the heavy side that all of my bridesmaids are not talking about me like this. I mean maybe I shouldn't wear white since it might make me look bigger?

I think you need to be a better friend and realize that she is just as excited as you are to get married and get over it. And stop telling her what she can and can't wear to her wedding. It's HER wedding, not yours.

Ingamckinley · March 2010

lol Kool-Aid man. Sorry I had to laugh.
This will be short. Plain and simple, you're jealous. Stop being like that with your friend. Don't try and make excuses, you're jealous. Don't worry about the cost and stop comparing your wedding to hers and be happy for her.

UnderAtree · March 2010

I'm pretty sure you were just like her when you got engaged happy and excited and talked everyone's heads off about wedding related stuff even when they didn't get a chance. And it doesn't matter what color she wears I have a cousin who wore black, I'm wearing gold. Big deal, its my day (and my fi's) and no one else's. Just let her have her moment to shine and soon things will go back to normal.

FutureMrsJGraves · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_bridesmaid-mememe?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2b0a5549-85d7-4c58-bb0b-a4f7950b06cePost:b1479855-76cd-4004-8e5b-b8a2c7ba8168">Re: My Bridesmaid is all MEMEME</a>:
[QUOTE]OP and FutureMrs...- This is the Snarky board, did you not expect some sarcastic responses?[/QUOTE]

Actually, my post wasn't about the responses here, it was about how horrible OP was being to her suposed friend by mention her weight and own choices on wedding dress, and how long it took her to get engaged. Infact I agree with most that has been said by the other posters.

megandjay · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_bridesmaid-mememe?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2b0a5549-85d7-4c58-bb0b-a4f7950b06cePost:b5dafb1b-50f1-4453-acd2-73aea0a7ffcd">Re: My Bridesmaid is all MEMEME</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: My Bridesmaid is all MEMEME : Actually, my post wasn't about the responses here, it was about how horrible OP was being to her suposed friend by mention her weight and own choices on wedding dress, and how long it took her to get engaged. Infact I agree with most that has been said by the other posters.
Posted by FutureMrsJGraves[/QUOTE]

Ooops, sorry FutureMrs... misread the first line. It just always surprises me (and seems to be happening a lot lately) when posters are not expecting some sarcasm on the Snarky board.

lissypooh628 · March 2010

Just curious.... what do you need so much help with???

ALL of my bridal party is out of state.. and I'm doing pretty well planning and getting things ready without them. Am I missing something?

luckyme502 · March 2010

I love how they delete the post and say closed, like we can't read it anymore and it will magically disappear!

sucrets4 · March 2010

It's CLOSED, lucky, you're not ALLOWED to reply anymore. Can't you read????

Closed.

Re: Closed.

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