Chinese Weddings

Tea Ceremony in Morning?

I'm Vietnamese and FI is Scots-Irish. We are trying to incorporate both cultures together in our wedding and honor our family and ancestors. When initially planning, I repeatedly asked my mom for details of the tea ceremony and she would only give me general information. I've researched and gotten some feedback from other brides and now that our wedding is next month, I'm really trying to figure out the schedule. We initially decided to do the tea ceremony the day before the outdoor ceremony and reception and have a mini version with just immediate family. Now, my mom tells me that it has to be in the morning. I just found out FI's sisters won't be arriving until 11AM. I asked my mom (but of course no real answer), but why does the tea ceremony have to be in the morning (besides for luck)? Would it be terrible to have the tea ceremony in the afternoon or even at the rehearsal dinner? Has anyone had their tea ceremony later in the day?We don't want to have the tea ceremony on the day of the wedding because it would make for too long of a day and I'm still not sure if my mom wants to have one just to have one and not really focus on the true meaning of it...honoring our ancestors. Sorry for the long post. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

Re: Tea Ceremony in Morning?

  • ring_popring_pop member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    A lot of these "rules" around Chinese weddings are based in superstition.I have heard of rules regarding specific timing for tea ceremonies, but I don't know enough about them to tell you the exact reason. It might have something to do with astrology.I can tell you that our tea ceremony was early in the afternoon, and I've also attended quite a few cousins' weddings, which also had their tea ceremonies in the afternoon or evening (usually between the other wedding ceremony and the reception).The thing is, our parents were OK with it in the afternoon because whatever superstition says it has to be in the morning just wasn't important to them. All they cared about was HAVING a tea ceremony. If your mom can't tell you a good reason why it must be in the morning either, she must not believe in that superstition either, or maybe she doesn't even know. If that's the case, give her all of the good (practical) reasons why you have to have it in the afternoon. Your FI's family being present really should override most things.
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  • clearheavensclearheavens member
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    edited December 2011
    I totally agree with ring_pop.Also, from anecdotal experience, my cousins had their tea ceremony in the morning because they had a wedding ceremony and reception immediately after.  It was the only way to fit everything in one day.  So it wasn't superstitution for us but a way to make the timeline work.
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  • edited December 2011
    Thanks for your advice ladies. My mom couldn't give me a good reason as to why it had to be before noon (because that's how it's supposed to be) so we opted to not have the tea ceremony at all. It was a good idea, but we've done a pretty good job of incorporating both cultures into the wedding. I'll be changing into my ao dai at the reception so I can have pictures of that.
  • edited December 2011
    so its ok to have the tea ceremony before the church ceremony?
  • edited December 2011
    I think most people do the tea ceremony before the church ceremony. I've been to tea ceremonies that begin in the morning and we have a break until the church ceremony begins in the afternoon.
  • lingdesignslingdesigns member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I actually am hoping to do parts of it in the early afternoon before everything begins... I'm having my ceremony and reception in the same place so I am inviting all guests to attend... you gotta entertain the guests somehow and we really wanted to have the cocktail hour AFTER the tea ceremony so we can enjoy it with everyone! That being said, coming from a guest's point of view, watching people give tea for an hour can't be that exciting. so first part of tea ceremony --western ceremony -- then remainder of tea ceremony -- then cocktail hour -- reception, seems to make most sense to me.
  • edited December 2011
    I know this is an old thread, but my mom told me the tea ceremony had to be in the morning because of some superstition thing that if the bride isn't out of her parents' house by noon it's bad luck. Something about the marriage being doomed or the parents not being able to marry their daughter off or something of the sort. Sounds silly but most superstition sounds that way right? :-)
  • edited December 2011
    I'm having my tea ceremony at the rehearsal dinner, since the timing of things on the day of the wedding will be so tight. I thought it would be nice to do the tea ceremony first and before the western ceremony.

    My mom had a similar reaction - didn't really like the idea, but wouldn't say why. Kind of frustrating, but in the end, she saw it my way and seems to have accepted it.
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