I need advice on a few things fellow BRIDES!

brittblaz · August 2012

Hello all! My wedding is June 15th 2013 so my first question is how soon should I be pushing my maids to buy their dresses? Im having a hard time figuring out how pushy is too pushy. I sent out a mass email to all 5 of them with the information on the dresses, but none of them responded back to me to even let me know they received it. Even though when I talked to a few of them via text or phone they said they got it.
My next question is, I am buying their shoes for them as part of their gift. How soon do I need to order the shoes in your opinion? I want to buy each girl the shoe that they want. But do you think that if 2 or more girls like the same shoe, maybe I should just go with one style? Just having a hard time making decisions and I really am open to any suggestions. Thanks!

JaxInBlue · August 2012

If you are ordering the bridesmaids dresses from a salon, they should be able to tell you when dresses need to be ordered. Ask them for the last possible day to order with and without rush delivery. Pass that informaition along to your wedding party. If they don't order the dress on time, that's on them. (If you are not ordering from a salon, you still might be able to find out how long the store plans to carry the dress and estimate an order date based on that.)

Shoes to wear in your wedding aren't a gift. If you want them to wear a specific shoe, you should buy it separate from whatever your gift is. If you aren't set on a specific style, give your bridesmaids the broad details (I asked for silver or grey, any style) and let them get the shoes they want or wear shoes they have already.

gurrlballa10 · August 2012

Shoes are not part of a gift, if you want them to wear them in your wedding. Give them the last possible date to get their dress, without a rush fee, like PP said. (Which will leave you time if there are "issues").

GoodLuckBear14 · August 2012

You wedding isn't for another ten months. They have plenty of time to order their dresses but check with the salon to get a drop dead date.

As for the shoes, they are not a gift to them if you are requiring that they be worn for your wedding. Also, your post is unclear, but you should have also privately gotten a budget from your BMs as to how much they were willing to spend and let them have input on the dress they will be wearing.

MairePoppy · August 2012

Did you ask each bm, privately, for her dress budget? Did they have any input on the dress selection? If you didn't, start from scratch. Choose a dress in the lowest budget range, make sure everyone is comfortable with your selection. Find out the last order date from the store and make sure everyone has that information. The rest is up to them.

Let each girl pick her own shoes, in a neutral color that they will be able to wear again. The shoes that they need for your wedding, should not be counted as a gift. Don't expect everyone to wear the same shoes.

Summer2011Bride · August 2012

Ditto everyone else on asking for a budget. If that was disussed and the dress is good to go, you still have plenty of time as your wedding is ten months away. Ask the salon when they absolutely MUST be ordered, let your girls know that, and be done with it.

Are the shoes something specific for your wedding? Meaning a shoe dyed to match their dresses that they probably won't wear again? If so, I don't consider that a gift. But if it's that you said, "I'll buy you each a pair of black heels you like and you can also wear them with your wedding dress," I'm more OK with that. The difference is you are letting them PICK a shoe they like and would wear outside the wedding. However, I would not make them all wear the same pair, if nothing else than for comfort's sake.

[Deleted User] · August 2012

The timeline I used said to find BM dresses about 6 months out so that's what we did. I asked each of the girls, privately, what their price range was. We decided to all meet up and picked a dress that day. I asked that the girls get navy shoes, which all of them were ok with, and they are finding them on their own. The way I interpreted your post, by treating the shoes as a gift, you're basically saying you will pay for them. Since the shoes the girls want will likely be different prices, maybe you could give them all a certain amount to put toward their shoes. I wanted to help my girls out with the costs so I gave each one 40 dollars and let them use it towards paying part of the dress or use it toward their shoes. ETA: I should also mention they had to pay up front so that was nice to get the dresses all at the same time so I didn't have to worry about reminding the girls.

Carson386 · August 2012

GO to the salon and ask how long it takes for the dresses to come in, then I' give 2-3 weeks before that last day for any issues and let the girls know that that's the day they need to beordered by in order to get the dresses in on time. When I did my girls dresses, the shop owner said that it's 6 months for the dresses to come in, plus she does all her own alterations so that will take time as well. I told my girls the dresses needed to be ordered by Sept. 21 (which the shop owner recommended so she has time to do fittings/alterations)

GardenMaven · August 2012

I have a June 29th, 2013 wedding date and all of my BM's are out of state. The date for ordering that was suggested to me was January. I would also suggest contacting them individually instead of in a mass email, because they will be more likely to respond.

Kathryn Wagner · September 2012

6 months out should be the lastest they do it. Trust me there will be issues other wise.

StephJean83 · September 2012

I think ordering dresses should be done about 6 months before hand just so if there are any issues, you have time to get it fixed and not rushing to get it done in time. If you want all the BMs in the same color/style, I would ask the salon what they recommend about ordering. We had to have our dress order in by a certain day and than the salon ordered all of our dresses so they were cut from the same fabric and would than be an exact match in color.
As far as the shoes go, if you don't care what they look like, go with each girl to the store (individually or as a group) and have them pick out the shoes they like and will wear again. If you are making it part of the gift(like buying them their accessories/shoes/purse), maybe add something personal for them as well that isn't about the wedding. Movie tickets for the movie buff, or coffee for the Starbucks girl! Most weddings I've been in we got the necklace/earrings/bracelet we wore the day of the wedding and a bottle of perfume or something similar.

I need advice on a few things fellow BRIDES!

Re: I need advice on a few things fellow BRIDES!

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