Is anyone considering eloping?

breadpuddin · May 2012

I have a delima, I would like to elope or have a small destination ceremony with immediate family only but am afraid I will regret not marking the occasion with a bigger event. Does anyone know anyone who regreted eloping? Ive met tons of people saying they wished they had eloped but have not found anyone who actually eloped and how they felt about it afterwards.

jagore08 · May 2012

My in-laws eloped and siad they wouldn't have had it any other way. I think they were secretly wishing we would have gone that route.

redheadfsu · May 2012

I had a private destination wedding and love it. It was just my husband and myself in St. Lucia for a little over a week. I got a cute wedding dress, flowers, cake (from the resort), etc. After the ceremony we went around the island and had pictures taken, it was so fun. That night we had a fancy dinner on the beach, just the two of us. The wedding was free with the room that we booked. So we paid for a honeymoon and got a wedding for free (minus dress & pictures). We sent wedding announcements after the wedding.

We had an awesome honeymoon and wedding in one. It was perfect for us and exactly what I/we wanted. I would have hated a traditional wedding. I never wanted a traditional wedding and only would have done it to please parents. But luckily the parents understood that a private wedding would make us very happy.

CarolinaGirl6 · May 2012

Honestly, yes we thought about eloping but I am the only girl in my family and I think it would hurt my parents if they weren't there. We are having a small wedding on the beach in May with immediate family only and sending wedding announcements afterwards to the rest of our families.

Annas2013 · May 2012

We've thought about it. It was actually really tempting to just go ahead and elope, which is made worse by the fact his mom suggests it every single time we see her. She and her husband eloped, so she thinks it's a perfect idea. I know I'd regret not having a traditional wedding though. And my parents would be somewhat sad.

peachykeen26 · May 2012

We thought about it. I actually begged to elope for several months. FI is the only male in this part of the family and he couldn't do it to his grandfather. So, I gave it up.
We are having a smaller wedding with family.

RamonaFlowers · May 2012

It actually never crossed my mind to elope. I grew up in a big, close-knit family, and a lot of family friends that were practically family to us, like I'm talking holidays, vacations, graduations, proms, etc ... they were always there or involved somehow. The thought of getting married without including them seriously was something I could not comprehend. Our parents would have totally understood if we'd kept it really small (Although, my mother, grandmother and great-grandmother all would have been heartbroken if they weren't there at all) ... but it was something I just couldn't do.

We had a formal wedding with 100 guests. We paid for it ourselves, and chose a venue that did most of the work for us (We pretty much just had to invite people, get dressed and show up. No fuss, no muss) ... and I don't have a single regret. I don't judge people for eloping, if that's what you really want-go for it. But it was just something that was never an option for me.

mfeo24 · May 2012

We eloped, it was fabulous and perfect for us. It's not perfect for everyone though. Ours was certainly enough of an occasion to mark the day, because we planned it that way. We felt like a relationship and marriage was deeply personal and didn't want to put on a show for everyone, just wanted to spend the day together. Others need their whole family there, and that's fine too, but we didn't. The only two things that had an impact were 1) my dad was pretty hurt he didn't get to come, and while he said so before hand, he said again "I really wish I could have been there. That hurt. and 2) people won't make a big fuss over an event they didn't go to, we barely got a verbal "congrats" from most people, so if you need attention or recognition, this may not be the way to go.
Here's a useful website, check out the real weddings section for bride's experiences.
http://www.intimateweddings.com/

breadpuddin · May 2012

so after much thought and talking to my good friend about my personality (because as soon as the wedding plans came I forogt what I liked ha!) we have decided to do a destination wedding but with family. Everytime I thought about my dad not being there it made me too sad. I think it could still be an intimate moment even if we just have maybe 10 friends and our immediate family. The idea of a huge wedding though scared me as soon as my mom sent me an "obligatory" invitation list if we were to have a hometown wedding. This way I can kind of have it all! I can still pick out cute little invitations etc but on a smaller scale. I went to try on "destination" style wedding dresses today! very simple but beautiful and I feel great about the decision now!

laurenoliveira23 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_is-anyone-considering-eloping?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:cc7f0ba9-d5bd-417a-b7b8-59921f5914cfPost:61b9eec8-e440-4278-9922-867107391b9e">Re: Is anyone considering eloping?</a>:
[QUOTE]We've thought about it. It was actually really tempting to just go ahead and elope, which is made worse by the fact <strong>his mom suggests it every single time we see her. She and her husband eloped, so she thinks it's a perfect idea.</strong> I know I'd regret not having a traditional wedding though. And my parents would be somewhat sad.
Posted by Annas2013[/QUOTE]

my fmil is exactly the same way!
while i considered it because of our money issue i too always wanted a traditional wedding and my family would not be happy .
plus my fiance apparently knows me too well because when i mentioned it he said "i know you dont want to do that" hahah

jwdds2013 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_is-anyone-considering-eloping?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:cc7f0ba9-d5bd-417a-b7b8-59921f5914cfPost:042fedff-25fb-43a2-9733-1f6c3693f282">Re: Is anyone considering eloping?</a>:
[QUOTE]I had a private destination wedding and love it. It was just my husband and myself in St. Lucia for a little over a week. I got a cute wedding dress, flowers, cake (from the resort), etc. After the ceremony we went around the island and had pictures taken, it was so fun. That night we had a fancy dinner on the beach, just the two of us. The wedding was free with the room that we booked. So we paid for a honeymoon and got a wedding for free (minus dress & pictures). We sent wedding announcements after the wedding. We had an awesome honeymoon and wedding in one. It was perfect for us and exactly what I/we wanted. I would have hated a traditional wedding. I never wanted a traditional wedding and only would have done it to please parents. But luckily the parents understood that a private wedding would make us very happy.
Posted by redheadfsu[/QUOTE]
This is EXACTLY what we have been thinking about ourselves!!! We had both wanted to beach wedding, and I have never been the :big to-do" wedding type of girl. To me its a day about us and what better way than do do it than with just the two of us. It doesnt get more intimate than that. <div>I just wanted sure how to go about the ceremony part itself. My only requests were that I wanted a "wedding dress" (even if it is a fun, beachy style dress that fits my personality!) and actual wedding photos. (We have both been married previously, and that was always the thing I swore if I ever married again, that I wouldnt forgo the photos!). </div><div>Thank you so much for posting this! This makes me feel better about starting the process. We are not thinking long-term down the road, and wanted to know we could do it still without the hubbub of it all!! </div><div>THANKS!!!</div>

kendalldavis · May 2012

My family is very, very traditional so we are having a wedding here in our hometown. We talked about eloping but my parents asked if we gave them a year to plan then they would pay for everything. So we set the date 11 months out! But we are both ready to get married now! Good Luck with the wedding planning and decision making!

meganb1977 · May 2012

I'm in favor of elopement. I have regrets of having people there at the wedding who caued drama. I would not have had regrets of eloping.

vantica · May 2012

I've always wanted to!! Go somewhere, have people who can go, go, and then have a great long honeymoon! But, soooo many of my close friends and family are now married with kids and just can't up and go like they might have been able to even 5 years ago, and I've realized I would really miss having them there for my day. So that is what has triggered planning a typical wedding at home, probably without a honeymoon. One day maybe we'll get a honeymoon.

CowgirlUp515 · May 2012

Me and my fiance are going to kinda-sorta elope. We plan to have a courthouse wedding on a Monday and a "wedding party" on the following Saturday. We will invite friends and family just like a normal wedding, but It will only be a reception.
You could do something similar, but you could elope or have a small destination wedding, and then have a reception a few days afterwards for the friends and family that didnt get to be there.
Its the best of both worlds! The excitement of eloping, but no one gets their feelings hurt!

FreeSpirit666 · May 2012

I would love to elope & then have a nice reception. Then, when you renew your vows, you can have the family there

sandylee83 · May 2012

i eloped for my first marriage, just went to city hall to sign the paper. I regretted it cos i didn't feel i had married to my ex except legally i did.

For the 2nd marriage, we had a small destination wedding in Maui just for immediate family. It was very small but simple. We both dressed up (morning suit + wedding gown), had flowers, cake, wedding photos and miniser to hold our ceremony on the beach. Then we went to a very nice restaurant to enjoy the cake and dinner. The entire wedding was very sweet and stress free/ More important part i feel more married to him emotionally and this is the wedding for us. More one caused any drama on that day.

Since it is very small wedding, we can pay it right off and no parents need to chip in at all. We can stay in the most expensive hotel in Maui and had a few nice meals during our honeymoon.

Is anyone considering eloping?

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