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M.I.A. BRIDESMAID

KiragulleyKiragulley member
First Comment
in Moms and Maids
Right after I got engaged I asked on of my good friends to be one of my bridesmaids. She said YES right away. Now all of a sudden she is moving out of state, which is no big deal because she said she would still be a BM. 

However, ever since I asked her the big question, she has been incredibly distance. Rarley answering my calls, and text messages. And always beening too busy to hang out (which is out of character for her)

I do not know what to think. I am not sure if she really will stay a bridesmaid, or why the sudden M.I.A tendencies. I am no bridezilla, and havent even done much planning. Should I just let the separation slide and hope she shows up for the wedding?

Advice would be helpful! Thanks :) 

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Re: M.I.A. BRIDESMAID

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    zitiqueenzitiqueen member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_mia-bridesmaid-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:6b1dae41-b68e-4f63-a69c-e28610341b1fPost:a7a79e39-11d2-4966-80c7-b247fcf253cd">M.I.A. BRIDESMAID</a>:
    [QUOTE]Right after I got engaged I asked on of my good friends to be one of my bridesmaids. She said YES right away. Now all of a sudden she is moving out of state, which is no big deal because she said she would still be a BM.  However, ever since I asked her the big question, she has been incredibly distance. Rarley answering my calls, and text messages. And always beening too busy to hang out (which is out of character for her) I do not know what to think. I am not sure if she really will stay a bridesmaid, or why the sudden M.I.A tendencies. I am no bridezilla, and havent even done much planning. Should I just let the separation slide and hope she shows up for the wedding? Advice would be helpful! Thanks :) 
    Posted by Kiragulley[/QUOTE]

    Assume she'll show up. Don't ask her if she still wants to be a bridesmaid.
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    sister2groomsister2groom
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Maybe she's busy because she's moving out of state and changing jobs and stuff.
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    Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_mia-bridesmaid-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:6b1dae41-b68e-4f63-a69c-e28610341b1fPost:53aafa4e-83e3-4e78-b459-f41284109f68">Re: M.I.A. BRIDESMAID</a>:
    [QUOTE]Maybe she's busy because she's moving out of state and changing jobs and stuff.
    Posted by sister2groom[/QUOTE]

    This is what I was thinking.

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    em01092em01092 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Just give her some time to get adjusted. Moving is a big deal for some people. Shoot her a text or email saying, "Hey friend, I know you are super busy right now, but please give me a call when you can! I miss you!" 

    Make sure to talk about non wedding things and ask her about what's going on in her life too. A lot of brides unknowingly get tunnel vision and only think of their weddings. It can be very annoying to your friends after a while. 

    As for her being in the WP, just give her the deadline to get her dress (around 6 months out from your wedding date) and then if she doesn't get it, you can assume she has removed herself from the WP. 
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    tldhtldh member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_mia-bridesmaid-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:6b1dae41-b68e-4f63-a69c-e28610341b1fPost:53aafa4e-83e3-4e78-b459-f41284109f68">Re: M.I.A. BRIDESMAID</a>:
    [QUOTE]Maybe she's busy because she's moving out of state and changing jobs and stuff.
    Posted by sister2groom[/QUOTE]

    This.  I moved two years ago and still have trouble finding the time to talk to old friends.
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    graffeograffeo
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I am sure she just is stressed with moving ect. Like Em said send her email or text. See how she is doing and if she needs any last min help with anything moving wise. That way if she is thinking that u are stessed about her moving and still being in the wedding it will show her that your are not and u support her 100%!!! Def let her know the deadline for getting her dress. I know one of my BM was out of state and she called and ordered her dress on the phone. They had the dress shipped to me and then i sent the dress to her. I thought that was the dumbest thing that I ever heard that they could not send teh dress to her. O well lol. Dont worry or stress lf she does not make the effort to get her dress it is not ur fault she knew when the deadline was. Worst case you just send her a wedding invite. Worst thign that happens is she says no. Dont stress. There are lots of other things you are going to stress about while planning and you will look back at this and wish this was the biggest problem you had!! I am not saying that in a mean way at all just trying to help you not stress :-) 

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    mandi921vhmandi921vh member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_mia-bridesmaid-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:6b1dae41-b68e-4f63-a69c-e28610341b1fPost:53aafa4e-83e3-4e78-b459-f41284109f68">Re: M.I.A. BRIDESMAID</a>:
    [QUOTE]Maybe she's busy because she's moving out of state and changing jobs and stuff.
    Posted by sister2groom[/QUOTE]

    <div>I was thinking this too.</div>
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    i2012doi2012do member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm going to assume she is MIA because she is packing. moving, etc etc
    That is stressful in itself.

    Why don't you just tell her when you have picked out a dress. If she doesn't order it by said date she opted out.

    I know how you feel I have an MIA bm too and its annoying to plan (and buy things) for her...when you don't even know if she will be there. But realistically i figured, my florist CAN and will add another bouquet up to 1 month out, my other bridesmaids unfortunately CAN and Will plan a shower without her,and if ew need her to fit in the limo- she can squeeze.

    It sucks, cuz its a bit discourtesous to leave someone "hanging" but maybe its just a few busy weeks for her. If she (like my FSIL) leaves you hanging for 6 + months- then you can assume (as I have) that they are no longer interested,
    www.weddedeverafter.blogspot.com
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