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Not Engaged Yet

Hi ladies! Need your expertise!

Hi ladies! I'm Taneesha Michelle and im new to the knot!!!!!!
Heres the deal w/ me

I'm 26 years old and my lil sis just got ENGAGED!
I bet you can see my prob here lol.

Jay and I have been together fr about 1 year and a half ago and although Chante (sis) ahs been with her man longer, I'm 3years older.
 Chante and I are very competive. And shes a skinny b- if you know what I mean! Come on, let big sis get this one okay Chante? lol

How are you not engaged yet ladies working on getting that proposal? My girl got pregnant with her boyfriend and got married- I'm not THAT crazy lol!!

Tips and advice appreciated!

xo- T

Re: Hi ladies! Need your expertise!

  • motoLynmotoLyn member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I know that it feels crappy to be older and not engaged. I just have to say this welcome to NEY but get over it.  Your younger sister is engaged, be happy for her.  Enjoy your time with your man and at its own pace you'll be engaged. 
  • edited December 2011
    There's no race to get married.  Just because you're older doesn't mean you're more ready for marriage.

    Seriously...if this is your biggest problem in life, you're a very lucky woman.
  • Wrkn925Wrkn925 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    You sound like my older sister.  She's six years older and still gets mad if I do anything before her.

    NEWSFLASH- This is not middle school.  Your little sister is not getting to wear makeup, go out on a date, or drive before you.  She's getting married,  on her own time.


    Get over it.  Order of birth no longer matters, you are adults.
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  • Elle1036Elle1036 member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to Hi ladies! Need your expertise!:
    [QUOTE]Hi ladies! I'm Taneesha Michelle and im new to the knot!!!!!! Heres the deal w/ me I'm 26 years old and my lil sis just got ENGAGED! I bet you can see my prob here lol. Jay and I have been together fr about 1 year and a half ago and although Chante (sis) ahs been with her man longer, I'm 3years older.  Chante and I are very competive. And shes a skinny b- if you know what I mean! Come on, let big sis get this one okay Chante? lol How are you not engaged yet ladies working on getting that proposal? My girl got pregnant with her boyfriend and got married- I'm not THAT crazy lol!! Tips and advice appreciated! xo- T
    Posted by taneeshelle[/QUOTE]

    I used a combination of voodoo, ultimatums, and fake pregnancies.  Worked great!
  • csousa1csousa1 member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I am 26 and my younger sister is 24 and she got engaged last summer on our family vacation that I'd had a tiny momentary inkling that I may be getting engaged on. I was perfectly happy for them and did not make it at all about myself, either out loud or in my head. I won't lie and say I never had flashes of envy or anything, but I let those go as quickly as they came.

    They had their date set for this September, but between not living in their new apt yet, not saving enough, and generally having slight meltdowns over the planning, they pushed it off until next year. Which in and of itself caused fights and drama. And every moment that my sister struggles with something wedding related, I learn something about how I am NOT going to do it. So, if everything happens for a reason, the reason for this one might be that now when my turn comes along, I will have a better idea of what to do and what not to do and have less wedding drama myself. That is good enough for me!

    ETA: This is not to say that it's good for your sister to go first so that she deals with the headaches so you don't have to. I just meant that you never know what will happen or what you are being envious of, and to look at the bright side of things, and to get over it.
  • csousa1csousa1 member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Hi ladies! Need your expertise!:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Hi ladies! Need your expertise! : I used a combination of voodoo, ultimatums, and fake pregnancies.  Worked great!
    Posted by Elle1036[/QUOTE]

    LOL!
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Hi ladies! Need your expertise!:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Hi ladies! Need your expertise! : I used a combination of voodoo, ultimatums, and fake pregnancies.  Worked great!
    Posted by Elle1036[/QUOTE]


    This reminds me...I need those voodoo dolls back.  You took my favorite colored pins.  Hoar!
  • edited December 2011
    You could always FAKE a pregnancy, then you're not stuck with the baby or the belly..but you still get the ring!




    I better add that was sarcastic.
    5/27/12
    image
  • ravenrayravenray member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Hi ladies! Need your expertise!:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Hi ladies! Need your expertise! : I used a combination of voodoo, ultimatums, and fake pregnancies.  Worked great!
    Posted by Elle1036[/QUOTE]

    I thought you just used love potion and spells.    You lied to me!  No wonder it isn't working!
    "Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained"-C.S. Lewis

    Married! May 27th, 2012

  • bethsmilesbethsmiles Denver, CO member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    Don't worry about it. Every relationship moves at its own pace and if she's been with her FI longer than you've been with your BF it makes sense she would get engaged first. Just be happy for her, you will get engaged when you are your BF are really ready to be engaged. Don't rush things just to beat your sister to the alter.


  • ravenrayravenray member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited December 2011

    OP you have only been with your BF for a year and a half, that is not saying that it means nothing, but slow down.  Not everything is a competition.  Marriage is something that is NOT a competition.  Be happy for your sister.  Do you know for a fact that she got pregnant to get married?  I wouldn't say that to anyone even if it is true.  That is really unkind and does not reflect well on your character.  Your relationship will get there when it gets there, no rush.  Patients and NEY are your best friends. :)

    "Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained"-C.S. Lewis

    Married! May 27th, 2012

  • Elle1036Elle1036 member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Hi ladies! Need your expertise!:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Hi ladies! Need your expertise! : I thought you just used love potion and spells.    You lied to me!  No wonder it isn't working!
    Posted by ravenray[/QUOTE]

    You're getting me confused with Merope Gaunt.
  • lunarsongbirdlunarsongbird member
    2500 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
  • Beads921Beads921 member
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Lunar, I think your suggestion of forgetting the engagement chicken is totally heinous! We all know it's the only way to get your man to propose (well, and Elle's idea...that works too...but engagement chicken tastes better).

    OP, here's the recipe [<-- clicky]. Cook this chicken for your BF, and he'll propose, guaranteed!
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    Life is good today.
  • edited December 2011
    Just because you are older doesn't mean your younger sister has to put her life on hold so you can do something first. Just think about what you are suggesting.



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  • ravenrayravenray member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Hi ladies! Need your expertise!:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Hi ladies! Need your expertise! : You're getting me confused with Merope Gaunt.
    Posted by Elle1036[/QUOTE]
    Hmm your cloaking illusion is strong but I know who you are!
    "Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained"-C.S. Lewis

    Married! May 27th, 2012

  • leia1979leia1979 member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Hi ladies! Need your expertise!:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Hi ladies! Need your expertise! : I used a combination of voodoo, ultimatums, and fake pregnancies.  Worked great!
    Posted by Elle1036[/QUOTE]

    I'm so glad I know better than to Knot and drink at the same time. Otherwise this would have been a Sobe moment.
  • edited December 2011

    Bj's, anal, and engagement chicken.

    Fake pregnancies work quicker though.

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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to Hi ladies! Need your expertise!:
    [QUOTE]Hi ladies! I'm Taneesha Michelle and im new to the knot!!!!!! Heres the deal w/ me I'm 26 years old and my lil sis just got ENGAGED! I bet you can see my prob here lol. Jay and I have been together fr about 1 year and a half ago and although Chante (sis) ahs been with her man longer, I'm 3years older.  Chante and I are very competive. And shes a skinny b- if you know what I mean! Come on, let big sis get this one okay Chante? lol How are you not engaged yet ladies working on getting that proposal? My girl got pregnant with her boyfriend and got married- I'm not THAT crazy lol!! Tips and advice appreciated! xo- T
    Posted by taneeshelle[/QUOTE]

    On a more serious note (as you can see, we are a sarcastic bunch but we've all been just a little BSC before so pardon us):

    There isn't really a problem at all. Getting married is not a race.  I thought I'd be the first to be married and having children out of my circle of friends (for the most part, my BF and I are the oldest and the most responsible) and yet 1 of our best couple friends is preggers and married, another is engaged, and another is preggers and engaged.  It just happens that way.  Was I a little salty about it at first? Yes.  Then when I calmed down and came back to Earth I realized that it isn't a race.  It doesn't matter who gets married first or who has babies first. 

    IMHO, the best way to "get that proposal" is to have a healthy relationship with your boyfriend.  Everything else will follow suit.  If you come off to your BF as a jealous person who wants to get married just because she wants it to happen before her little sister does, I can assure you that he will not be proposing any time soon.

    Just calm down, stick around, and it will happen eventually if it's meant to. 

    BTW, you should post an intro thread and tell us more about yourself!
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  • IrishDreamerIrishDreamer member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Hi ladies! Need your expertise!:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Hi ladies! Need your expertise! : I'm so glad I know better than to Knot and drink at the same time. Otherwise this would have been a Sobe moment.
    Posted by leia1979[/QUOTE]

    No Doubt!! I would've had a coke moment thanks to Lunar's posting.

    LMFAO! I <3 you guys.

    OP, Chill out dude, I'm with shoes - if that's the biggest problem you have, be VERY VERY grateful! :)
  • heyimbrenheyimbren member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Chill out. Seriously.

    Want to know why?
    You're not only going to drive yourself crazy, but you're going to miss out on a lot going on with your relationship with your BF AND your relationship with your sister. There is no rule that says she needs to wait for you to get engaged first. And as well, a year and half isn't that long. Relationships move at their own pace.

    Relax. Enjoy your relationship and the fact that you seem to be in a serious relationship that's hopefully heading that way. And also, enjoy this time for your sister.

  • lunarsongbirdlunarsongbird member
    2500 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Hi ladies! Need your expertise!:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Hi ladies! IMHO, the best way to "get that proposal" is to have a healthy relationship with your boyfriend.  Everything else will follow suit. Posted by ADTonk[/QUOTE]

    This.

    You can also focus on yourself and do things that make you happy. Confidence and Joy are sexy.

    I guess my feelings are supported in this article- http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/13231665/ns/today-weddings/t/want-man-propose-be-bitch/

    ETA: If it was all just about being a b!tch like the article says- shouldn't we all be engaged by now? ::foot stomp::

    I have a cookie. I will eat it now.

    ETA Again- this is my favorite quote from the article, "“Here, take my body. And I made you a cake. Please be nice. Please marry me. I'll even jack my butt up nice and high like they do in yoga. It's so comfortable being upside down. Really. I just love it!”
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  • DanieKADanieKA member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Oh dear. That's all I got. 
  • SKP82SKP82 member
    2500 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I was going to say engagement chicken, but PPs beat me to it.

    I was going to give a gross recipe for it, though.  Beads posting the actual recipe took that away from me. 
    IMG_6364
    "Life is not orderly. No matter how we try to make life so, right in the middle of it we die, lose a leg, fall in love, drop a jar of applesauce." - Natalie Goldberg
  • peekaboo2011peekaboo2011 Washington, DC member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Hi ladies! Need your expertise!:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Hi ladies! Need your expertise! : You're getting me confused with Merope Gaunt.
    Posted by Elle1036[/QUOTE]

    Wait, you mean?  And you're not going to produce Voldemort?
    This is news to me.
    I french with my man
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • edited December 2011
    Letting the relationship grow at it's own pace, is the best advice I can give.  I'm sure you'd rather be first, be happy for her and have faith your day will come soon.  Recently about 3 friends I know from doing theater are all engaged when w did a show together in April of 2010 none of them were even dating anyone.  So I understand it does get frustrating.  I've been with my BF for over a year and a half.  I have to remember what we have now is amazing and enjoy the now. Sometimes are easier than others  

    Anniversary

  • lunarsongbirdlunarsongbird member
    2500 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Hi ladies! Need your expertise!:
    [QUOTE]Bj's, anal, and engagement chicken. Fake pregnancies work quicker though.
    Posted by ADTonk[/QUOTE]
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  • desertsundesertsun member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Happiness is not about who is skinniest, who gets married first, who has more money, who has the fanciest car, whatever.

    That kind of competitiveness and jealousy, while perhaps natural at times, is not a healthy motivator and will not result in happiness.

    Happiness is not about "beating" other people. Happiness is about knowing yourself and building a life that is based on what YOU want and what the right timing is for YOU.

    So just focus on being happy for your sister and enjoy sharing this exciting time with her!


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