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Are you serving alcohol at your reception

lovelyaka08lovelyaka08
First Comment
in African American Weddings
My fiance and I are at odds over this. Personally I would love to serve drinks at the reception but he is against this idea. He is worried about somebody acting up. I don't want that either but I want my guests to be able to have a good time. Is there a way to compromise on this. He is pretty much leaving everything else up to me, why not this.
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Re: Are you serving alcohol at your reception

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    pretteonepretteone member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We aren't having alcoholic beverages (outside the toast, but it will be for the bridal party only...lol).   We figure we're going to save by not having it and we usually don't drink in front of our aunts and uncles and elderly guests....that's just us though!  We've invited a couple people who I'm sure would go overboard too!  I'm good with not having it!
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    PB-Bride2010PB-Bride2010
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    edited December 2011

    My fiance and I agreed no alcohol will be served other than for the toast.  My parents is paying for the reception portion of the wedding, so I couldn't see having them pay for people to drink.  My venue doesn't allow outside liquor brought in, so the looking at the liquor charge, sales tax, and gratuity wasn't worth it to us. 

    Maybe if your guest list is very small you may be able to compromise.  However, if your fiance is worried someone will be acting up, that's more of a reason to stay away from alcohol.  I'm believe if the wedding tone is set and the dj is playing good music, you shouldn't have a problem with your guest not having a good time and enjoying themselves.  Only you guys know the crowd you will be inviting, but don't let the alcohol be the thing to ruin your happiness at your wedding.  GL

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    ladylumladylum member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    No, it was an added expense and some of our family members are recovering alcoholics. Also since it is an evening reception, I did not feel right with someone drinking and getting drunk on my dime and then getting a DUI or something worse. We are having a champagne toast but that's about it. I've been to receptions where it was dry and people still got out on the dance floor and had a good time so don't let anyone tell you that you NEED alcohol to have a great reception.
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    Vanessa AVanessa A member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We are serving non-stop champagne as our alcohol and as tacky as it is, we are having a cash bar. For what we paid in the champagne charge, the cost of one bar tender for the night was voided so we added one. My parents is hosting the wedding and my mom is the non-drinker in the fam and dont want to be responsible for drunk driving. She was totally against the bar all together but we finally talked her into it (I have two sisters and one brother so we kind of ganged up on her). Again, I know it's tacky to make guest pay for alcohol but if they want something other than champagne, tea, or water, than they have that option @ their expense. We have played around with offering a signature drink but haven't decided yet (we have until the 19th to figure it out).
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    tamtam7tamtam7 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We are providing beer and wine.  My venue allows outside alcohol so that helps.  I am thinking about doing a signature drink, probably a pomegranate martini during the cocktail hour only.  I'm sure that my FI's family will bring liquor.  My only request is that they give it to us ahead of time so that I don't just have guests strolling in with brown bags.  Some of my guests probably will act the fool, but, hey, what can you do?!  I'm going to enjoy my wedding regardless.  You may consider only serving alcohol for a short period of time (like an hour or two)if you really want to serve it, instead of the whole night  I think that would be a pretty good compromise, beause they probably won't get too, too crazy if i'ts only served for a short period of time.  But honestly, I think that everyone will still have a nice time without alcohol. 
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    happe2getherhappe2gether member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    This is one of the questions I've been wrestingl with.  FI is a non drinker (as in never had a drink in his life) so even the toast will be different for us.  Most of the weddings in the family have been combo open/cash and I think I like the idea of providing some of the alcohol but not much then leaving it open for anyone who wants to buy.  Plus we will have kids around so I'm not sure how that will play a part in the drinking.  There are a few non-drinkers though. 
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    mahoganieyesmahoganieyes
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We are having open bar for 3hrs. I might need a few sips after spending all this time of planning....Innocent


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    adgenyaadgenya member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We're having an open bar at our reception. We are able to bring in our own alcohol so it helps keep cost down. To avoid having "out of control" guests, our venue does not allow shots and provides their own bartender. Any professional bartender should not be serving to individuals that are obviously too impaired.  

    You can always do like some PPs and only serve beer and wine or just have a signature drink. 
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    kristi0618kristi0618
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    We're having alcohol. Our venue allows us to bring in our own alcohol, and I plan on getting a bartender so that no one gets "white boy" wasted!! LOL!!!

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    Panda16Panda16 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We're having an open bar for the cocktail hour and a consumption bar afterwards. I think this is a really good compromise since we control how much guests can drink.

    Before you make an official decision, just consider the crowd you're inviting.If it's a younger crowd, regulating the drinking with a consumption bar may help. With an older crowd, it may be easier to get away with no bar or a cash bar.
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    I <3 SeabassI <3 Seabass
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Open bar was included with our reception package so we had it. I was also worried about a couple people having a little too much. But turned out there wasn't an issue for us the day of, everyone was on their best behavior.

    If you do serve drinks maybe tell the bartenders to keep an eye on people and tell them to cut anyone off if they start getting sloppy.
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    winter443winter443 member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We're having an open bar.  Our venue had a package set up that includes food, linens, alcohol, champagne toast etc.  The thing with the open bar is that is also includes non alcoholic beverages like juices and sodas whereas if we didn't have one at all guests would just have water and tea.
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    desi2002desi2002 member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We're not having alcohol  because I have a lot of out of towner-s,  and I want them to make  it  home safely. Plus I really don't like  alcohol. Maybe you can put  so much money on the bar and then once they drink it up,  then that's it.  That's kind of middle ground.
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    Crook251Crook251 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Not not sure if anyone has said this already(i didn't read all the post), but this is a suggestion. People can have a good time and not drink alcohol. I do it all the time! Laughing But if you feel that it's necessary, maybe have an open bar for about an hour to an hour and a half. You still get some drinks and then you don't have to worry about people coming back more than a few times. It will keep the intake to a minimum and people acting up! Good luck!
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    MIABRIDENTAMPAMIABRIDENTAMPA
    First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    We are having an open bar during cocktail and during dinner. Our venue allows us to bring in our own alcohol and since we both and our families like alcohol, it was great for us. My cousin had a cashbar at her wedding, pretty much no one drinked anything but the tea and water.lol... But yes thats one thing we didnt compromise on, was having a good time and letting our guests enjoy themselves drinks and all! GL with your choice.
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    Spim7Spim7
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We agreed on no alcohol for the reception. We might have champagne for the toast but we are considering doing a non alcoholic signature drink instead. It's partially to save money but also because our reception is early in the afternoon we don't want people driving home after drinking.
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    YasJas2011YasJas2011
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We are having an open bar at our cocktail hour and reception. We are able to bring in our own alcohol so it will help keep the cost down. We are having a bartender and people will get shut down if they think they will get sloppy drunk! The hotel we wish to stay at provides a shuttle for guest.
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    DSTbride15DSTbride15
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    We are having a limited open bar at our reception. We will be serving beer, sangria, & 2 signature drinks (one with clear alcohol & one with dark alcohol)....We are able to bring in our own alcohol & our own bartender who will monitor folx intake & go from there.

    We set a budget for alcohol & will get it at a discounted rate at the military base here.

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    SHAWNEE31SHAWNEE31
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    It is funny my fiance did not want alchold because his family does not believe in it at weddings. I wanted it i agreeded not to have it because i am the budget queen. The one person who is upset is my mom who does not drink she said people will exopect it, I do not care I expect to pay the mortage. So I gave in on that just to save money. OUr venue allows outside liquore, but we would have to pay for a bartender
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    berrytrberrytr
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    No alcohol except for champagne for the toast.  My FI doesn't drink at all and I'm a tea-todler.  But, it was an easy decision for us b/c we're having a champagne brunch reception and most people wouldn't consider it odd not to have alcohol in the morning.
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    emme25emme25 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    This is very much different from this topic on other boards.  Makes me feel better about my decision.

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    christinapaynechristinapayne
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    No alcohol at ours. FI is against it, although I wanted at least a champagne toast. Plus, we are having a brunch reception, so it wouldn't be totally odd not to have liquor with breakfast! We are having a special made lemonade in martini glasses for the illusion : ) Also, the cost of alcohol is $15 extra per guest at our venue, so we are saving almost $2000 without it. It's win-win! 
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    poppyakapoppyaka
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We are going to have an open bar at ours...perhaps just limit the selection of alcohol you will provide...perhaps just beer and wine...or beer, wine, and your signature drink...either way you can both can compromise, I'm sure yo'll work this out :)
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    kkidd28kkidd28 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My fiance and I are not huge drinkers.  My parents dont drink at all and dont want to pay for it.  We decided to have a non alcoholic event - but the guests have options.  My reception is at a Hilton and there is a very classy bar if they want to step inside to have a drink!  This way we are hoping to limit any foolishness at the reception and we dont have to worry about everyone getting home safely!

    HTH


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