this is the code for the render ad
Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Moms and Maids
Moms and Maids
New Discussion

Bride telling us how to have hair done (MAJOR vent)

finallyabridesmaid2801finallyabridesmaid2801
First Comment
in Moms and Maids
Just to pre-warn, this may be quite long but I'm just so upset. My Aunt is getting married in April and I'm one of three bridesmaids. It's my first time being one and have been so excited until now...

After asking how we were having our hair, she said we could do it how we wanted, but has now suddenly announced that she's booked us all into her hairdressers to have it done how SHE wants it, which is up. I'm perfectly fine with that, but she keeps saying she wants us all to be identical (when one of them has a really short bob so she can't do that anyway) and off the face when she knows that i'm really self conscious about wearing my hair so that my ears show.

I told my mom and she said "Oh, I've already booked me and you into our hairdressers as she said you could have it done how you wanted." I didn't know until then so I told my aunt the next day and she said "well you'll have to cancel because you're having it how I want it because it's MY wedding." I said surely it doesn't matter if it's slightly different to the other bridesmaid (as her hair is totally different to mine - really wildly curly where-as mine is dead straight so they won't be exactly the same anyway!)

 She then kept on saying "Well I have a picture in my head of how I want it to be and you're always moaning about what I want for MY wedding." This was the part that got me the most as I haven't said a thing about anything else, I love the dress and the shoes and I said I was fine with wearing it up, just not in a way that I won't be comfortable with!

It ended with her saying that I might not be a bridesmaid anymore although she took it back later that day, but i'm still angry that she's accused me of dictating when the other bridesmaid is the one who's being complaining about everything from the material, cut, colour of the dress to the accessories in our hair!

At the end of the day, she's 45 and I'm 17 so I just thought she'd be a bit more mature about the situation, especially as she knows how much I hate my ears. I just wanted some feedback really on whether people think I'm in the wrong with saying that I'm not comfortable with having my hair in a specific style. Thank you :)
Report Reply to Post

Re: Bride telling us how to have hair done (MAJOR vent)

  • B&K10+13+12B&K10+13+12
    100 Comments

    This is what we call a bridezilla.  I think at this point I would excuse myself from the weddng party all together and just show up as a guest.

    PhotobucketWedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • JNwedding31JNwedding31 member
    10 Comments
    I agree with both posts above. Ridiculous demands. It's 2012, no one does the matchy-matchy hair style & the fact that she's demanding it is unreal at her age. I'd excuse myself. You're 17- I'm sure you have enough going on & don't need the unecessary stress. Good luck!
    Report Reply
  • Simply FatedSimply Fated member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    "Aunt, I understand that it is your wedding, but it's my hair. My mother and I have appointments with our own hairdresser and my hair style will be covering my ears. I'm your bridesmaid, but more importantly, I'm your neice. I hope you respect my choice because I love you and respect you." Make sure your mom backs you up. GL!
    image
    Report Reply
  • froggatt.clarefroggatt.clare
    100 Comments
    Stand your ground.  I'm in a similar situation and its not going well, but stay strong.  Until you said aunt I wondered if we were in the same wedding and didn't know it!
    Photobucket
    Report Reply
  • strlzfan11strlzfan11 member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments Combo Breaker

    Is she paying for the BMs to get their hair done?  If so, then she has the right to say how she wants it done.  If not, then she should not be dictating the style.  Even if she is paying for it, I can't believe that she's not taking your personal feelings on the matter into consideration.

    Report Reply
  • simplestlifesimplestlife member
    10 Comments
    Wow...Your aunt is being quite absurd. She needs to start acting like a grown up. Maybe you can teach her how.
    BabyFruit Ticker
    Report Reply
  • graysquirrelgraysquirrel member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_bride-telling-hair-done-major-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:15dd51f3-8b36-4655-945a-344926cc319fPost:d80c4fab-76ce-4164-938f-0a0d7a6c9b33">Re: Bride telling us how to have hair done (MAJOR vent)</a>:
    [QUOTE]"Aunt, I understand that it is your wedding, but it's my hair. My mother and I have appointments with our own hairdresser and my hair style will be covering my ears. I'm your bridesmaid, but more importantly, I'm your neice. I hope you respect my choice because I love you and respect you." Make sure your mom backs you up. GL!
    Posted by Simply Fated[/QUOTE]

    This! Explain to her that you feel a great deal of anxiety about having your ears uncovered. If she continues on her zilla streak, I'd drop out. Sorry that she is being like this to you, that is hard.
    Photobucket
    Report Reply
  • jemmini6jemmini6 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_bride-telling-hair-done-major-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:15dd51f3-8b36-4655-945a-344926cc319fPost:b18162e4-2214-4dae-804f-234fafeb58d8">Re: Bride telling us how to have hair done (MAJOR vent)</a>:
    [QUOTE]You have a right to decline even if she offers to pay. <strong>You can always rearrange the hair right before you walk down the aisle....</strong>
    Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]


    Ha, this!  I'd tell her, "okay aunt, if you want to force me into a hairstyle and you are paying for it, I'll do it.  Just don't count on it to stay that way until the wedding."

    She's being ridiculous.  Honestly, if someone threatened to kick me out of their bridal party because I didn't want to wear my hair they way they were forcing me to, I'd take that opportunity in a hearbeat.
    Anniversary
    Report Reply
  • finallyabridesmaid2801finallyabridesmaid2801
    First Comment
    edited March 2012
    *EDIT*

    Firstly, I just wanted to say how much your comments mean. I'm truly surprised and grateful for the helpful, heart-warming comments and support you've given me.

    So here's the update - My mom and dad talked it out with her after she made some more extremely hurtful comments, as by that point I was completely distraught and didn't want things to escalate any further. She said it was down to stress from her work, which I thought might've been the partly the case but she still hasn't apologised for the comments she made. However, we're ok again (as you can't dwell on these things) and I'm looking forward to going on the Hen Weekend this week!!

    The other bridesmaid I mentioned in the original post refused to wear her hair up full stop (surprise surprise), but apparently it's ok for her to do that, as my Aunt didn't say anything to her and she is now wearing her hair down and straight. I'm going to wear mine up, and after chatting about it, we've decided that I can wear it how I had it for my Prom which I'm a lot more happy with (curled and in a side bun).

    The funniest thing is though... My Aunt got the wrong size dress for the other bridesmaid, so she's had to buy a different dress (in the same colour thankfully) to me and the Maid of Honour :D Best laid plans eh...

    One again, thank you so much for giving me your sympathy and love xxx
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards