How do I ask my reception coordinator...

Zimsgirl · March 2012

Is there a good way to say make sure IDs are checked and guests aren't served too much alcohol? It says in the contract they check IDs but from personal experience at other venues, bartenders/servers are more relaxed for weddings. There will be people underage and some who say they're going to get "sh*t- faced" (yes those were best man's exact words to me). How do I say make sure IDs are checked and people are cut off at an appropriate time without making him feel like he can't do his job?

daria24 · March 2012

Do you have a venue coordinator or catering manager? I would speak to him/her and mention that a high percentage of your guests are underage and that you feel comfortable trusting their judgment and let them know your concerns about guests drinking too much. Ask about what the policy is for cutting people off and make it clear you want that policy followed to a T. I think how closely they adhere to the law depends on the state venueliquor licenses in PA are very tightly controlled so venues here are much more likely to card. My venue REQUIRES place cards to indicate anyone who is under age so that they don't get served. We also have to hand in a seating chart indicating where all the under age guests will be sitting.

Zimsgirl · March 2012

He's the banquet manager so he control everything. I won't be in contact with him until final head count and things like that but this has been an ongoing concern of mine

daria24 · March 2012

Sorry I can't see the full title of the post on my phone. is there a reason why you can't talk to him now about it?

Zimsgirl · March 2012

I'd just rather talk to him when we sit down and he makes note of it with our other stuff. Don't wanna send him a bunch of emails either (we're 3 hours away)

melntaitt · March 2012

I truly understand; I'm very worried since my FI's cousins are mostly under 21 but like to sneak a sip here and there.

I'm hoping they're much stricter than they usually are...

MMRoberts11 · March 2012

Our venue handles it much like yours. It's in our contract too.

If you are that concerned it doesn't hurt to shoot an email and then bring it up at your next meeting just to make sure all bases are covered.

ETA: Our venue doesn't allow shots. Maybe that's something you can say to do?

MoonlightSilver · March 2012

When you turn in your headcount, why not just mention "Some of our under 21 guests think they'll get a free pass to get drunk at the wedding. I'm glad our contract says that you'll be carding people." That way they know there are going to be minors attempting to drink, but you're not telling them how to do their job.

Zimsgirl · March 2012

Thanks everyone. I think I may send him an email tonight or tomorrow!

MiksChick23 · March 2012

I'd definitely bring it up. We are not allowing shots at our reception unless both B&G are up at the bar requesting them TOGETHER. I know I can't control what my guests do, but I worry that FI's friends will get out of control...and this is one way I can limit the binge drinking. I truly, truly pray that they all prove me wrong and behave like sophisticated gentlemen, but I'm not setting myself up for disappointment.

sweetcanadian1979 · March 2012

Where i live the age is 18 (much better than 21). Teenagers 16+ are allowed alcohol at weddings with the permission of the parents if it is in a private hall, which mine is. I am not too worried.

Are you going to be drinking Kaitlyn since you are under 21? I know you are the bride but i hate when people are hypocritical (ie: i can do it but you can't). They can also turn that on you if they want to, if you aren't then you have every right to make sure they are on top of it.

Zimsgirl · March 2012

I don't drink much anyways so I wasn't planning on it. I'd rather drink lemonade, tea, or soda

kelsey+brandon · March 2012

I think you just need to ask.

I have no idea what the laws are in North Carolina (I'm sure FIs on top of that), but from my experience, they aren't very strict. I've never seen anyone card at a private event/dinner and only rarely do they card when you're in a group of adults. My brother orders a drink al the time at dinner with my family and he won't be 20 until August (let along legal for another year).

Make sure you are clear on what you do and do not want happening. We don't want shots, so they won't allow them. We don't want them to butler alcoholic drinks (because they drive up the cost of our bill), so they won't be doing them.

Zimsgirl · March 2012

In Response to Re:How do I ask my reception coordinator...:[QUOTE]I think you just need to ask.I have no idea what the laws are in North Carolina I'm sure FIs on top of that, but from my experience, they aren't very strict. I've never seen anyone card at a private event/dinner and only rarely do they card when you're in a group of adults. My brother orders a drink al the time at dinner with my family and he won't be 20 until August let along legal for another year.Make sure you are clear on what you do and do not want happening. We don't want shots, so they won't allow them. We don't want them to butler alcoholic drinks because they drive up the cost of our bill, so they won't be doing them. nbsp; Posted by kelseybrandon[/QUOTE]
Yeah we're hosting wine, beer, and soda. Absolutely no shots and there are 2 bars so they won't butler either.

motogrl13 · March 2012

What is "butlering" alcoholic drinks?

How do I ask my reception coordinator...

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