Wedding Advice

brittandjp · February 2012

I've wanted to post this thread for a while, but originally thought I'd wait until we were all done with our weddings. However, after the SHIIT I've dealt with the last couple of days, I've decided that I'm ready now.

What one piece of advice would you give future brides? You can only choose one thing, so what trumps all other pieces of advice?

brittandjp · February 2012

My one piece of advice: ELOPE.

Yeah, I said it. I can't wait for our wedding and I know it's going to be the bomb.com and the best day of our lives. However, I seriously hate these last couple of weeks with extreme passion. So, looking back, I'd elope.

arrestclementine · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_march-2012-weddings_wedding-advice-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:955e4823-0be1-44ef-9ee7-99a63794e103Discussion:a295f990-c630-43e1-bfdf-e9ab18826516Post:a593bf0b-fa0e-4d9e-908c-7fde3cf27e3a">Re: Wedding Advice</a>:
[QUOTE]My one piece of advice: <strong>ELOPE</strong>. Yeah, I said it. I can't wait for our wedding and I know it's going to be the bomb.com and the best day of our lives. However, I seriously hate these last couple of weeks with extreme passion. So, looking back, I'd elope.
Posted by brittandjp[/QUOTE]

I SOOO wanted to do this... But t FI won this battle - not really I didn't fight it too much knowing that he wanted his twin there. Now we dont' even know if he is going to make it.

Anyways the best advice is dont' worry about the small things: at the end of the day you will be married, and that's all that really matters. But I do think a HM is important whether it's to a beach or whatever, I think the time alone with just the two of you is super important!

kostyalya · February 2012

My advice would be -- it's YOUR wedding -- it's not about anyone else but you and your FI. Decide what you want and stand your ground. I've been a little wishy-washy for fear of bothering others and not wanting to become "that" bride, and my MOH always sets me straight -- it's YOUR day, you get what you want!

cmac3504 · February 2012

There are a lot of pieces of advice i could say but i honestly know i would have needed to find out for myself even if someone said it to me (i.e. Its only one day so dont worry about the details... Or dont let etiquette drive you crazy, etc..) I think I would say to be patient during the planning process because more than likely you'll find a date, venue, and vendors all within (or really close to) your price range & style. Just takes patience.. And a lot of it!! Oh, and don't be unrealistically low on your budget or you'll set yourself up for disappointment.

stahlkc · February 2012

Remember that it is supposed to be a FUN day, so don't sweat the small stuff. It's easy to get caught up in all of the small details, esp. with websites and magazines pushing SO many "must have" things at you. As long as you have your closest friends and family there having a good time and sharing that special moment with you, that's all that matters.

elidellio · February 2012

The only reason I wouldn't say elope is because I know people would ignore me like I ignored everyone else who told me that. I think the most useful advice I could give would be not to take on more than you can handle. Yes, the little details are important but they're not all a necessity. Focus on what HAS to happen and let the small stuff go if you get overwhelmed. Also, if you don't have to do a seating chart I wouldn't recommend it. If you don't have one, you can be much more flexible with RSVPs that come in at the last minute. Not I mention the time you can save on not doing one!

rachel801231 · February 2012

You will change your mind a thousand different times on things such as centerpieces, colors etc. So take the first few weeks of being engaged and just enjoy it. Don't dive in head first the day he proposes and plan everything that day. Enjoy being engaged and then decide what kind of wedding it is you really want to have not what you think you "have to have" and go from there.

Jana711 · February 2012

My advice is if you and FI are footing the bill for your wedding, invite only who you want to invite. Take other requests into consideration, but don't feel obligated to invite other people that you couldn't care less if they're there or not.

bstengler · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_march-2012-weddings_wedding-advice-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:955e4823-0be1-44ef-9ee7-99a63794e103Discussion:a295f990-c630-43e1-bfdf-e9ab18826516Post:a593bf0b-fa0e-4d9e-908c-7fde3cf27e3a">Re: Wedding Advice</a>:
[QUOTE]My one piece of advice: ELOPE. Yeah, I said it. I can't wait for our wedding and I know it's going to be the bomb.com and the best day of our lives. However, I seriously hate these last couple of weeks with extreme passion. So, looking back, I'd elope.
Posted by brittandjp[/QUOTE]

<div>this couldnt of been any better said!!!</div>

w+c3 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_march-2012-weddings_wedding-advice-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:955e4823-0be1-44ef-9ee7-99a63794e103Discussion:a295f990-c630-43e1-bfdf-e9ab18826516Post:6f83394a-8c5c-4a7a-afc5-827bb736b703">Re: Wedding Advice</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>The only reason I wouldn't say elope is because I know people would ignore me like I ignored everyone else who told me that</strong>. I think the most useful advice I could give would be not to take on more than you can handle. Yes, the little details are important but they're not all a necessity. Focus on what HAS to happen and let the small stuff go if you get overwhelmed. Also, if you don't have to do a seating chart I wouldn't recommend it. If you don't have one, you can be much more flexible with RSVPs that come in at the last minute. Not I mention the time you can save on not doing one!
Posted by elidellio[/QUOTE]

So true Elizabeth.

w+c3 · February 2012

Mine is don't listen to anyone else other than your FI during the planning process. If you want to elope- do it. If you want to have a destination wedding- do it. If you want your bridesmaids to wear a specific dress and specific shoes your not a biotch, ask. Don't let anyone convince you that you're a bridezilla. Don't be bullied into inviting guests that you don't want. If you love the venue, book it. Choose the dress of your dreams, not the one everyone thinks you should wear. If you want to do a first look do it even if your family bursts into flames of shock and horor. Tell anyone who has an opinion on the budget of your wedding to take a hike. Play the cliche song. Don't take it personally if not everyone sees your wedding vision. If you want an adult's only reception do it- much to the dismay of all the guests with kids...and no you shouldn't back down. If you want to make a dress code, do so--who cares what the etiquette board says anyways. Have as large or as small and as even or uneven a bridal party as your little heart desires.

After the fact you and your FI will be the only ones looking back hoping for more or wishing you had less. So fulfil your dreams, not others.

southerncharm24 · February 2012

add between 1 and 5 thousand extra dollars to your budget. All those little have to have things are not cheap, neither are the perfect dresses for events, shoes, tanning, mani, pedis, underwear, hair trials, presents for people who throw parties, thank you cards, postage.

yes Im feeling broke and bitter this morning.

haha.

jbrook12 · February 2012

Don't let other people change your mind on something you know you want and or love. Go with you gut and stick to your guns. If at all possible compromise, but ultimately make you and your FI happy.

bdgrl73 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_march-2012-weddings_wedding-advice-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:955e4823-0be1-44ef-9ee7-99a63794e103Discussion:a295f990-c630-43e1-bfdf-e9ab18826516Post:6a4bae30-b96d-4648-87a5-654c7d02e5d2">Re: Wedding Advice</a>:
[QUOTE]Mine is don't listen to anyone else other than your FI during the planning process. If you want to elope- do it. If you want to have a destination wedding- do it. If you want your bridesmaids to wear a specific dress and specific shoes your not a biotch, ask. Don't let anyone convince you that you're a bridezilla. Don't be bullied into inviting guests that you don't want. If you love the venue, book it. Choose the dress of your dreams, not the one everyone thinks you should wear. If you want to do a first look do it even if your family bursts into flames of shock and horor. Tell anyone who has an opinion on the budget of your wedding to take a hike. Play the cliche song. Don't take it personally if not everyone sees your wedding vision. If you want an adult's only reception do it- much to the dismay of all the guests with kids...and no you shouldn't back down. If you want to make a dress code, do so--who cares what the etiquette board says anyways. Have as large or as small and as even or uneven a bridal party as your little heart desires. After the fact you and your FI will be the only ones looking back hoping for more or wishing you had less. So fulfil your dreams, not others.
Posted by w+c3[/QUOTE]

This!!! Perfectly said Whit!!!

amh04 · February 2012

My piece of advice:
It's a party. It's a big party that your wearing a beautiful dress for and will be married. All that matters is at the end of the day, your married to your best friend and that you had fun. No one else is going to notice the small details that happen to be forgotten or not done correctly but you. It's just a party, smile, relax, and have fun.

I do second the elopement idea - I surely wish we had.

rebeccaa12 · February 2012

Everybody touched up on the some of the best advice out there. I think that my contribution towards good wedding advice is going to be what I think has really helped (or hindered) me and my experience.

-Definitely book everything early! I say everything so that way you can get a longer period of time to make payments on the vendors.

-Speaking of payments, pay everything earlier than it is due. It has helped keep the vendors happy and responsive.

-Happy vendors mean good rapports, which are going to help with the smooth delivery of their services. (Hopefully- I'm not quite there yet lol)

All those being said, I do wish I had done more research on my venue. This, by far has been the most difficult vendor I have, and of all of them, the most stressful! Everything else has been smooth sailing. I totally agree with the advice of keeping the 'big picture' in mind.

mary1217 · February 2012

It is your day do what you want!!

brittandjp · February 2012

I love all the advice girls! Even when I say elope, it's honestly just because I'm so bitter about all the little things that haven't gone exactly how I wanted them to. I know I'll be so happy with the big extravagant wedding in the end. Perhaps I should change my advice to PAY FOR A WEDDING PLANNER. I could have pushed all the jobs off of me and to someone else that is super experienced. I've had so many people offer to do things for me, but they're friends and family members. I don't trust that they'd do the perfect job I'd expect. A super talented wedding planner would have been nice. I thought I could handle it, and I have. I just may or may not have had a few mental breakdowns because of it.

Good news, we ordered our sparklers and flower petals for the aisle last night. We finalized the program. JP has the paper and is having them printed tomorrow. We bought all the candy for the buffet tonight. 65 pounds worth and oh my gosh, it was SO much more expensive than what I had imagined. I think it's going to look so great though, so I am excited.

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