How to honor deceased groomsmen

Re: How to honor deceased groomsmen

• Peledreamsofrain member

  

  February 2013

  I'm sorry for your loss, and for your FI's loss. However, I would counvil you to handle a tribute VERY delicately. Especially since the loss was so recent and you probably have friends or family of the deceased at the wedding. You don't want your wedding triggering grief, or even forcing someone to leave in tears. Perhaps have something subtle. Maybe a mention in the program, or have the entire bridal party wear a white rose in his honor. Keep it personal and on the downlow. Your event is one of joy, not one of mourning.

  Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten
  
  
  
  
  
  

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• laurendon

  

  February 2013

  Thanks everyone. All of the above makes sense. I would never want to turn a happy event into a sad day.

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• cbrown828 member

  

  February 2013

  I agree, keep it subtle. It is very sweet that you want to honor him. Nobody who knew him will forget that he isn't there. So sorry for your your FI's loss.

  

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• Jen4948 member

  

  February 2013

  I'm so sorry for this loss.
  
  I agree with PPs-keep things subtle.  Leave his name in your program if you are doing one.  You could put an asterisk after it with "In Loving Memory" or something appropriate after another asterisk at the bottom of the page.
  
  But don't do empty spaces, etc.  That will drive home, perhaps too harshly, the reason why he isn't there.  A wedding should be a joyful, happy occasion, so be careful about what gestures you use to "remember" him.

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• laurendon

  

  March 2013

  We decided that we're going to get a locket made with a picture of him and his baby girl in it. His wife is going to attach it to her bouquet, and if she wants, when her daughter is older she can use it for her wedding. We're also going to put a candle on the escort card table with his escort card in front of it.
  
  I guess I wasn't thinking of how big of an impact it would be if we left an empty space where he should be.
  
  Thanks guys!

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• hollyk224

  

  March 2013

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_how-to-honor-deceased-groomsmen?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:32dfcb60-816d-45b0-9d58-da53f2f2b258Post:49def3e2-d4f5-4f8a-a2d1-75f49bcfa530">Re: How to honor deceased groomsmen</a>:
  [QUOTE]We decided that we're going to get a locket made with a picture of him and his baby girl in it. His wife is going to attach it to her bouquet, and if she wants, when her daughter is older she can use it for her wedding. 
  Posted by laurendon[/QUOTE]
  
  <div>I love this idea.  I'm so sorry for your loss.</div>

  

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• kateeric13 member

  

  July 2013

  We are battling with this same exact decision of how to honor a good friend who would have been in the wedding party. My fiancé is adamant about the fact that he wants to leave a space and feels that it was his friend so he should make that decision. I have tried explaining the pros and cons of doing this but he refuses to budge. Any suggestions on how I can handle it or should I just let him have this one....? I just really don't want to look back on our pictures from that day and remember that he wasn't there with us. Any advice is helpful...

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• Jen4948 member

  

  July 2013

  Point out to him the other ways suggested of honoring the memory of his friend, and tell him that empty spaces evoke sadness and grief which is not what you want associated with your wedding-the wedding is not your friend's memorial service.
  

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