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gift for when you ask someone to be a BM?

ktbride23ktbride23
First Comment
in Moms and Maids
Hi All, 

Question: 

1) How do you ask someone to be your bridesmaid/MOH?

2) Do you typically give a gift when asking a friend/family member to be in your wedding party?  I am speaking specifically to bridesmaids and flower girls.


I've decided to tell a bunch of my bridal party the news over Thanksgiving, so I'm pressed for time if I do want to get a gift.  I know it won't be expected to give a gift, but I am just wondering if it something that people do.  I'm not talking about anything big, I'm looking for just something small, around $10 or something.  I like to bake and so I was thinking of doing some type of bridesmaid dress cookie, but I cannot find a cookie cutter in this shape in a store by me!

Any ideas?


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Re: gift for when you ask someone to be a BM?

  • tldhtldh member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    You are a year out from your wedding which means you really should wait until around March or April to start asking people.  As for BM gifts, you give these on your wedding day, not when you ask them.  As for asking people, just ask and make sure you do it privately.  Believe it or not, someone may not want to be in your WP for whatever reason but won't feel comfortable saying no in a group setting.
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    AKA GoodLuckBear14
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  • ktbride23ktbride23
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I know that you give a gift to your bridgemaids on the wedding day, but idk, I just thought it would be nice to present them with something when I ask.  

    Thanks for the opinion on telling them in private.  My fiance and I were thinking of asking 2 bridesmaids, 2 groomsmen, and the flower girl to be in the wedding all at once.

    Also, normally I would plan to ask them next February or March, but my fiancee and I are in a long distance relationship (he is in the military in KY, I am in NJ, his family is in PA), and so this holiday is when we will all be together.
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  • tldhtldh member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_gift-ask-someone-bm?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:5495d30d-1f19-4476-a578-f506eb1e573cPost:fc1cad5d-0774-470a-913e-2602b2f9e46d">Re: gift for when you ask someone to be a BM?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I know that you give a gift to your bridgemaids on the wedding day, but idk, I just thought it would be nice to present them with something when I ask.   Thanks for the opinion on telling them in private.  My fiance and I were thinking of asking 2 bridesmaids, 2 groomsmen, <strong>and the flowergirl</strong>  to be in the wedding all at once. Also, normally I would plan to ask them next February or March, but my fiancee and I are in a long distance relationship (he is in the military in KY, I am in NJ, his family is in PA), and so this holiday is when we will all be together.
    Posted by ktbride23[/QUOTE]

    Ask her parents before you ask her.  It's their decision really and can you imagine anything worse for a little girl than to think that she's going to be in a wedding just to have her parents say no?  Or, how about being the parents and having to say no (again, for whatever reasons and in this economy a lot of people have to think twice about any commitment that requires their wallet being involved).
    image
    AKA GoodLuckBear14
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  • artbyallieartbyallie mod
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    It sounds like you want to ask the wedding party as a group? That's a bad idea, because then people will feel pressured to all immediately say yes. Ask individually, please. And as mentioned, wait a few more months.
    image
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  • LittleMissCutiePieLittleMissCutiePie
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    You don't need to do anything more than call or send a heartfelt email. No gifts are required; a lot of girls don't appreciate anything kitschy that they have to keep on their shelf and pretend to like every time you come over. Just say "Friend, I love you and I can't imagine getting married without you standing up for me. Will you be a bridesmaid?"

    Easy peasy.
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  • nboothe86nboothe86 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Simple. I asked my closest friends to be my bridesmaid a year and half before my wedding. If you google ' bridesmaid poems' you'll find quite a few options to use. I printed them out on paper and decorated it. I asked each of the girls in person one by one, and when they said just I have them a simple Ring Pop and said, " I got the ring for saying yes, and so do you"
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  • latoya3709latoya3709 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I made cards for each of my girls - and I asked a year out (broke the rules, because I was so excited to ask!).

    You can get blank cards from a craft store - on each of their cards, the cover was a picture of us (me and the girl) from various points in life and used stenciles for their first names.

    On the inside, I wrote each of them a special note about what they mean to me and how I'd be honored for them to be with me on my day.  I asked them if they would be MOH/BM.

    I placed them in the mail, and waited for each of them to call me saying yes.  It was sweet - some were crying, others screaming about how cute it was.  They seemed to have really loved them and I loved making them.

    It didn't take a long time to make them and I like crafts and sentimental stuff - so, it was what I wanted to do and I think it was a hit!
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