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Just curious...

Nancy00714Nancy00714 member
Seventh Anniversary 100 Comments Combo Breaker
in Catholic Weddings
Hi everyone!  I'm already civilly married (July 13th) but my husband and I are having our Catholic wedding ceremony in Italy (where we live and where he is from). 

In Italy, they post bans outside of the church, do we do this in the States?  Or would this be similiar like when it is announced in the church bulletin?

And were you "questioned" individually by the Pastor or as a couple?


I was just curious because we met with the pastor yesterday and I wasn't expecting a full on interrogation. 
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Re: Just curious...

  • erin5286erin5286
    100 Comments First Anniversary
    My church publishes the bans in the bulletin, usually for 3 weeks prior to the couple's ceremony.

    My FI and I have met with our priest twice so far, and have always met with him together.  We've discussed various topics, but it has never been anything I would call an "interrogation." 
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  • Nancy00714Nancy00714 member
    Seventh Anniversary 100 Comments Combo Breaker
    Thanks for your answer, Erin.

    Ah ok, I figured the church bulletin was the equivalent of them posting it on the outside of the church.

    We've met with the priest who is marrying us twice and had our 8 week class (I guess this would be considered pre-cana) and yesterday we met with the Pastor so he could basically approve our marriage before he posts the bans. 

    He questioned us both separately asking  if we are going to be fathful, have children and raise them Catholic, if we had ever had doubts about getting married, why we had ourr civil ceremony first, etc. and wrote down each individual answer.  I had never heard of such a thing in American Catholic weddings. 
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  • agapecarrieagapecarrie member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 100 Love Its Combo Breaker
    The church takes marriage extremely seriously. The priest must ensure both people are free to marry and have no impediments to receiving the sacrament. These questions must be answered. 
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  • Nancy00714Nancy00714 member
    Seventh Anniversary 100 Comments Combo Breaker
    I know that the church takes marriage extremely seriously.  I just wasn't expecting to answer questions alone and not with my husband.  And I wanted to know if this also happens in the US.
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  • bibliophile2010bibliophile2010 member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    They have people answer separately in an effort to ensure that they are answering honestly. One, in theory, is more likely to be truthful when they don't feel compelled to answer "correctly" in front of their fiance(e).

    Many parishes/diocese in the US will also have family members complete affidavits that also affirm that the couple is free to marry -- in the end, all of this inquiry is seeking to ensure that a valid marriage can, in fact, take place.
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  • CiardasullyCiardasully member
    100 Comments First Anniversary
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_just-curious?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:059fd0b3-52db-454e-9a96-d48b1a13d8d2Post:39035449-2bd4-4ffa-a0c6-717366b4ef09">Just curious...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hi everyone!  I'm already civilly married (July 13th) but my husband and I are having our Catholic wedding ceremony in Italy (where we live and where he is from).  In Italy, they post bans outside of the church, do we do this in the States?  Or would this be similiar like when it is announced in the church bulletin? And were you "questioned" individually by the Pastor or as a couple? I was just curious because we met with the pastor yesterday and I wasn't expecting a full on interrogation. 
    Posted by Nancy00714[/QUOTE]


    FI and I have always met with our Priest together.
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  • lalaith50lalaith50 member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    We were questioned separately. I assumed that was the norm, or posibly even requirement even in the US.
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  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    we were questioned separately (after swearing on a bible to tell the truth) only for the questions meant to determine our free will to enter the marriage.  it was all of 5-10 minutes maybe?  then everything else was together.

    you probably had additional questioning because of your civil marriage, is my guess.
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  • caitriona87caitriona87 member
    Fifth Anniversary 100 Comments
    We were questioned separately on those topics as well.
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  • Nancy00714Nancy00714 member
    Seventh Anniversary 100 Comments Combo Breaker
    Thank you everyone!
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  • professorscienceprofessorscience member
    5000 Comments Third Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    We were questioned together, but were told the norm is to answer the questions separately.
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  • newlyseliskinewlyseliski member
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited August 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_just-curious?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:059fd0b3-52db-454e-9a96-d48b1a13d8d2Post:ef50bfd7-b986-4b34-be92-1da2898230e2">Re: Just curious...</a>:
    [QUOTE]I know that the church takes marriage extremely seriously.  I just wasn't expecting to answer questions alone and not with my husband.  And I wanted to know if this also happens in the US.
    Posted by Nancy00714[/QUOTE]

    <div>We also did this separately with our deacon prior to him submitting paperwork for our marriage certificate prior to our wedding... I believe he was doing it to determine if there were any impediments to marriage that we were uncomfortable mentioning in front of one another and it was an necessary formality, despite the fact that he'd already known my husband and I for awhile prior to our engagement and during our wedding preparation.  </div>
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