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rsvp slackers

Krista521Krista521 member
10 Comments
in Maine
Our deadline that we put on our rsvps is tomorrow.. and we still have a lot that haven't come it yet. It's kinda making me anxious to be honest.  Almost all of my side has already sent them in, but then we have other people who told us verbally that they are coming but still havent sent them in. And then we have quite a few from FI family who haven't even acknowledged them yet!  A lot of those people we invited kinda as a gesture and pretty much assumed they wouldnt come because of family rifts/drama (so sad) or just because they are from out of state.  Do i just assume they are not going and move on? How would you guys handle this or how did you handle this?  I really have a lot more to do for linens/favors/centerpieces etc that i can't really do yet without having a guest count to work with.  It wouldnt really be an issue if it was just a few people, but we are talking like 75 people here.. (he has a massive family) and honestly i would rather that our guest list drop from 200 to 100, but i just need to know!!

And this is me starting to get nervous...
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Re: rsvp slackers

  • littlefieldmjlittlefieldmj member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I think a lot of girls go through this same thing.  I have 18 days until the wedding and we still have quite a few stragglers who haven't RSVP'd yet.  I had to send my cousin a few Facebook messages to remind her.  My FI's mom is calling some of his aunts and FI is messaging his cousins on FB.  I know Facebook isn't classy or ettiquette-friendly; but sometimes it's the easiest way to get a hold of the under-25 crowd. 

    I would wait a few days (or up to a week if you have the time) past your reply-by date and then start the calls, e-mails, etc to get in touch with everyone.  I wouldn't feel safe assuming someone isn't coming, but that's just me.  You know your guest list beter than anyone, so do what feels right in your gut.  Hope they respond soon!!
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  • hcorr34hcorr34 member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Never assume that not receiving an RSVP means someone is not coming.  We had three get lost in the mail - of the three only one was a decline.  FI and I, as well as a few family members we recruited, helped us track down all of the missing ones and to find out what their answer was (this is how we discovered the missing ones).  Some people just flat-out forget to send it, whether they plan on coming or not.  And some people just don't think they need to send it if they aren't attending.  There's a lot of clueless people out there when it comes to weddings!

    I would wait until the beginning of next week, since some people will put them in the mail on the RSVP deadline.  Then I would try to start calling, emailing, texting, etc. as many people as you can.  Ask FI and his family to help.  It might take a little effort, but it's better to know for sure than have unexpected people show up or pay for people that aren't coming.
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  • chrispygalchrispygal
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I agree with the PP.  As much as it's going to suck calling all around, I think you have to do it.  Recruit family members and divide and conquer!
    Married 9.4.11
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  • jessicabessicajessicabessica member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I agree with PPs that you need to call/email--and get family members to help out (we had my parents call some of their relatives, and his parents call their guests).  One thing that we found helpful was to decide beforehand when the absolute latest date we needed to know whether or not the people were coming was based on when our final counts were needed.  Several people were not prepared to give us an answer when we contacted them right after the RSVP date, so we told them that we hoped they could make it, but we absolutely had to know by x date.  

    Good luck!
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  • Krista521Krista521 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thanks for the advice ladies.. i knew we were going to have to track people down, but i'm glad to hear I'm not the only one who has had to deal with this!  I will probably have FI and his mom take the lead on this one since it's mostly their family.  I won't worry about it for another week or so... hopefully we get a bunch in the mail this week!!  We have to have guest count in 2 weeks before the wedding, but I really would like to know sooner than that so i can finish all the other stuff.  I dont even know how many tables we need yet... and the wedding is next month.  I have so much left to do!
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