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School+marriage???

So we're both going back to school, most likely starting next fall. We haven't decided on a wedding date yet but I'm wondering how school fits in with marriage. I don't want one to take away from the other.

Re: School+marriage???

  • I'm in college right now and my Fi and i have picked a day in December for our wedding because it's between my school schedule and my internship. It's not as hard as you might think to plan a wedding and study. It does require a little extra outsourcing on your part. Ask your MOH and other bridesmaids to help. That's what I did. Plus my future mother-in-law and my mother are doing a lot of the leg work. You do have to be flexible though. I have already had a few ideas thrown my way that I turned down, but the fact that I have choices and don't have to do it all by myself really takes a load off my shoulders.

    So in short, it's not impossible. Difficult maybe, but not impossible. Congrats! and good luck!
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  • My fiance and I are in school currently.  Yes, it's a little bit harder to plan since you have more to worry about, but it's doable.  We're getting married next July, after both of us graduate but before he starts PA school.  You can do it and congratulations!
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  • I am currently a Junior in college getting my nursing degree sometimes i wonder why i have decided to add the stress of a wedding and trying to find a place to live but once this is done things and school will be so much either we are constantly traveling to see each other and between traveling to and from school and to and from his house and my house it gets tiring.
  • It is definitely do able! Planning a wedding while studying is very work-able, but you have to be willing to outsource IMO, and definitely just have to keep yourself organized.

    The best thing I can say to make sure that nothing 'takes away from the other' is to do date nights or something. That way, if you feel that the "we" part of you and your FI's life is getting lost in the bustle of everything else, you have time that is dedicated just to you guys.

    Whatever the momentary stress, it's worth it.

    Congrats and good luck!
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  • I'm graduating this May, getting married in June and starting law school in August. 

    The planning actually has been fine. I have a very demanding course load, but I just set aside time to do wedding things. I also got A LOT done on breaks from school. 

    I think a long engagement helps, though - there's less pressure to get everything done, make a ton of decisions, etc. while also trying to focus on school.
  • It's hard but like the other girls said it's do-able. Be prepared to have NO money though, because any money you make while in school.. will go towards the wedding. So my suggestion is have a long engagement to have a longer time to pay things off. I'm graduating school in August and getting married Oct. 6th, at that time we will have been engaged for 2 years.. and it was the FASTEST 2 years ever! You can do it!
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  • I've noticed that school and planning a wedding is not that hard at all and is very enjoyable actually. My fiance proposed this past Christmas I graduate in May, starting med school in august and our wedding is next October. So it also helps in the planning if you have a little bit of cushion. The reason why we are using that cushion is to save because we refuse to start our new lives together in debt and also so we can enjoy the process. After all girls planning a wedding happens once and its suppose to be fun. So don't get stressed and enjoy making all the decisons with your soon to be husband. CONGRATULATIONS TO EACHO OF YA'LL :D
  • We got engaged as a freshman in college. Planned our wedding in 9 months, got married in the middle of a semester in October the weekend after midterms. It's totally doable, but take advantage of breaks from school. That's the main planning time because during school it's rather busy between school and work. Enjoy being engaged and planning. And being married while in school can be tough because it's a busy schedule to both be working and in school full time. It's important to set aside time to just be together, and sometimes it feels like there's not enough time for that.
  • We are planning the wedding for the end of the first semester of my MA program, and after the honeymoon I hope to get him enrolled in school for medic. Have a long engagement, that' what we're doing it helps :). Knowing he's going to be my husband and can actually help me with "official school business" puts my mind at ease as well :) 
  • I graduate in June but am getting married the end of may....for the first 8 months of planning it was kind of like..what is the big deal, I did a lot of planning last summer so felt on top of it, but now I have a lot of classes that end in the next couple weeks and am close enough that things are starting to need to be finalized at the same time I have major papers/exams...and honestly, the last month has been the most brutal month in my life between the stress of school while everyone is harassing me to make decisions and give final thoughts to bakers/florists, making sure people know how to find the room block etc....I would say if at all possible, if you are going to plan and be in school at the same time...give yourself a couple months off BEFORE the wedding to have all the last minute stuff done...Right now all I can wait for is the day after the wedding so I can get away from all the stress. I would have enjoyed it better if crunch time for both school and wedding stuff hadnt hit at the exactally same moment.

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  • eandngallowayeandngalloway member
    10 Comments
    edited February 2012

    I'd like to point out that a lot of people are talking about whether it's hard to plan the wedding and go to school.  I'd agree, it's not so hard at all.  But you need to worry about the marriage (as you asked) not the wedding.
    It's pretty hard to both be going to school and maintaininga relationship.  Your classes, homework, papers, etc will interfere.  If you also need jobs, you'll have even less time together.  It's definitely a big challenge to do your best at both school and a relationship.  If only one of you goes back to school, that's hard enough, but both of you going back (while doable) is extremely difficult.

  • In Response to Re: School+marriage???:
    [QUOTE]I'd like to point out that a lot of people are talking about whether it's hard to plan the wedding and go to school.  I'd agree, it's not so hard at all.  But you need to worry about the marriage (as you asked) not the wedding. It's pretty hard to both be going to school and maintaininga relationship.  Your classes, homework, papers, etc will interfere.  If you also need jobs, you'll have even less time together.  It's definitely a big challenge to do your best at both school and a relationship.  If only one of you goes back to school, that's hard enough, but both of you going back (while doable) is extremely difficult.
    Posted by eandngalloway[/QUOTE]

    I disagree that it's "extremely difficult."  Maybe it's because we weren't going back, just continuing, but H and I got married partway through my senior year and were both in school for the rest of my senior year and my grad school year.  Granted, H did not go full time and he was the only one working, but we still managed to make it.  I finished grad school, he went back to school full time and finished with his BS, and here we are, happily married for 9 years.  Sometimes I miss the days of us both doing homework on the couch or helping each other with projects.
  • I'm working on my master's while working a high-stress job 32 hours a week and my fiance is also working toward his bachelor's while working 50+ hours a week.  Last May, we got engaged after 5 years of being together & we decided to plan the wedding for June of this year because we knew we would both be so busy.  I'm not going to say it's been easy, but, if you want ANYTHING bad enough, you can make it happen.  I don't feel like I have sacrificed anything &, while I really enjoy planning the wedding, I'm more of a realist just looking forward to finally making this commitment in front of our friends & family.  So, I don't sweat the small stuff & I defer to my family on the things I don't care much about (i.e., the cake, centerpieces, etc.).  I'm going a little stir crazy right now anxiously awaiting the end of the semester and the summer of fun that we will have (school ends May 5 and then I don't have summer classes so I don't start back up until August!) and the honeymoon that is going to be AMAZING and well-deserved.  It's not planning the wedding, going to school, and going to work that is stressful... it's feeling like I'm missing out on spending quality time (because of these other commitments) with my fiance that stresses me out.  So, I decided a long time ago that I would not allow our conversations to revolve around wedding planning in any way shape or form so that our time together is just that... OUR time to continue bonding, growing, and building our life together.  It's not hard because we both want this more than anything in the world & we are determined. 
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