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Introduction...

mandi195mandi195
First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
in Catholic Weddings
Hi there.
I've been on TK for a while, but haven't really frequented this board.
I'm Mandi, engaged to the man of my dreams. This will be a second marriage for both of us. Neither of us were married in the church previously. However, since he was raised Lutheran, and married outside of the Catholic Church, we are in the middle of a church annulment for his first marriage before we can plan anything. We've chosen to go this route because my faith is incredibly important to me, and we want to do things "right" this time. However, his schedule has made getting some of the steps difficult, and thus our timeline keeps moving back. We were hoping for 9/2013 wedding, now looking like earliest would be 2/2014, but likely a handful of months later.
We both bring a child to the relationship also, two boys, who are our hearts and already refer to eachother as "brother."
I guess I just wanted to say hi, introduce myself a bit, and that I look forward to the planning process ALMOST as much as I'm looking forward to spending the rest of my life with an amazing man.
Any questions or anything you'd like to know, feel free to ask!
Best,
Mandi
Praying for a miracle!
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Re: Introduction...

  • Riss91Riss91 member
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    Hey mandi! Congratulations on your engagement and welcome to the board! We are always excited for fresh faces!

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  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
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    welcome!
    that is wonderful that your boys get along so well. 

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  • mandi195mandi195
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    Thank you! Yes, it's great they are so close. They're about 1.5 years apart so the ages work great as far as sharing and them really creating a close relationship.
    Also, glad to find a board that understand the ins and outs of Catholic weddings. Some others think it's nuts when I've said things about having no real clue when we will be married, because it's out of our hands; and that we are worried about what if (on the VERY small chance) the Church were to say no to the annulment... what do we do then?
    Praying for a miracle!
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  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
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    well, that is a very real possibility, and you will certainly have some decisions to make and they wont be easy ones.

    i assume your annulment has already gone thru?

    all you can do at this point is pray and have faith, and most importantly stay the course and focus!

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  • mandi195mandi195
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    I don't have to do an annulment since I am Catholic, but married outside of the church; so the church doesn't recognize my first marriage.
    I'm praying that this all works out. Given the circumstances of his divorce, I can't see any way the Catholic church wouldn't find his marriage to be incredibly broken and not at all lived under faith. Who knows... fingers crossed.
    Praying for a miracle!
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  • agapecarrieagapecarrie member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_introduction-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:1d8ce930-d580-4397-9eca-a6503da631a2Post:54c15e8f-53d0-45dd-886a-8f18cecbc40a">Re: Introduction...</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't have to do an annulment since I am Catholic, but married outside of the church; so the church doesn't recognize my first marriage. I'm praying that this all works out. Given the circumstances of his divorce, I can't see any way the Catholic church wouldn't find his marriage to be incredibly broken and not at all lived under faith. Who knows... fingers crossed.
    Posted by mandi195[/QUOTE]

    <div>That's not what an annulment is. An annulment doesn't look at circumstances of divorce. It looks at the circumstances of the marriage--- who went in with what, how, and why. To see if there was some sort of impediment preventing them from validly marrying.</div><div>
    </div><div>Marriage lasts until death, so actually, the church is presuming that he is still validly married to someone else. Definitely don't make any wedding plans.</div>
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  • Resa77Resa77
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    Welcome, and good luck!  Feel free to participate in all our crazy threads :) 

     

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  • mandi195mandi195
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    I worded that wrong. It should have said the circumstances of the marriage. (They were young, knew eachother a very short time, he was pressured into it, ect) There are more details, but I'd rather not air their entire relationship here as it's truly not my business.
    As I said, we have nothing planned. We are engaged, but we are waiting on the annulment because this is what is important to us. We are in no rush to get married. Sure, we would get married tomorrow if we could, but not without the Church being a part of it; so we're happily waiting as long as it will take for the annulment to take place.
    Praying for a miracle!
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  • KamakananiKamakanani member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_introduction-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:1d8ce930-d580-4397-9eca-a6503da631a2Post:54c15e8f-53d0-45dd-886a-8f18cecbc40a">Re: Introduction...</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't have to do an annulment since I am Catholic, but married outside of the church; so the church doesn't recognize my first marriage. I'm praying that this all works out. Given the circumstances of his divorce, I can't see any way the Catholic church wouldn't find his marriage to be incredibly broken and not at all lived under faith. Who knows... fingers crossed.
    Posted by mandi195[/QUOTE]

    <div>I'm in a similar boat (ie: Catholic w/ a previous marriage that had not been in the Church).  While I didn't have to do a full, long-form annulment, I did have to do a nullity due to lack of form.  It didn't take long at all to go through, and just officially states that I hadn't followed proper Canonical Form in my first marriage, therefore it hadn't been valid and I am free to marry.</div><div>
    </div><div>If you haven't yet, you may want to mention the previous non-Catholic marriage to your priest, and he can guide you through the very simple process.</div>
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  • mandi195mandi195
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    We've talked about it. He said we can start that in the near future, since it takes far less time. Our main focus was to get the annulment process started, and go from there. Thank you for the reminder, though! I need to get that paperwork together!
    Praying for a miracle!
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  • bibliophile2010bibliophile2010 member
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    Welcome!
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  • mandi195mandi195
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    thank you!
    Praying for a miracle!
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  • monkeysipmonkeysip member
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    Welcome, Mandi!  Keep us posted on how it goes!

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  • lalaith50lalaith50 member
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    edited December 2012
    welcome, Mandi! What a wonderful attitude towards your annulments and wanting to get married in the Church! My prayers are with you that God's Will be done.

    As far as "what to do if the annulment doesn't go through..." well, like calypso, I have no real advice, but God willing this won't happen, but if it does, just keep praying and trusting!
    Anniversary
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  • Tami87Tami87 member
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    Welcome to the board :)
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  • mandi195mandi195
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    Thanks, everyone! Also, I apprecaite the comment about our attitude towards the process. it's not always easy, and having to rehash the past was difficult for him, but we got through it together and are now anxiously awaiting the next step.
    I really look forward to chatting with you ladies more!
    Praying for a miracle!
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  • professorscienceprofessorscience member
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    Welcome to the board!  I know the annulment process can get frustrating (especially just the whole not knowing WHEN things will be wrapped up) -- please stick around and feel free to vent!  There are so many knowledgeable ladies here (and plenty of women who have been through the annulment process)!
    Anniversary

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  • mandi195mandi195
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    Thank you! I'm so happy to have found a group of people who both understand the process and the frustration that can come with it.
    Praying for a miracle!
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