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Rehearsal Dinner Guest List Ettiquette

cas209cas209
10 Comments
in Pre-wedding Parties
Our wedding is taking place at a location about 2 hours away from where FI, myself, and his family live.  It is 3-8 hours away from my family members.  As a result, almost everyone is traveling and we have about 200 guests.  We picked this location because it is somewhat between my family and his family and it is on a university campus that we both attended.

My FMIL wants to  invite everyone who is staying over the night before the wedding to the rehearsal dinner.  FI and I are worried that this will be excessive.  Since everyone is traveling, it will also end up being a slightly smaller version of the wedding reception, but a BBQ.

Ideally, we would like to invite the wedding party, immediate family, our Aunts, Uncles, and first cousins.  That alone would be a sizable number of people.  Just the immediate family, wedding party, their +1s, and parents of the flower girls and ring bearers is 30 people.  Adding Aunts, Uncles, and first cousins would bring it to about 45.

Would it be terrible if we invited  the WP, our Aunts and Uncles, but not every guest traveling from out of town?
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Re: Rehearsal Dinner Guest List Ettiquette

  • waltzingmatilda13waltzingmatilda13 member
    2500 Comments
    It depends on who's hosting. If FMIL is hosting the RD she can invite who she wants and that includes all the OOT guests. If you are hosting and worried about paying for all those people you can choose to not invite them, but I would be careful about picking and choosing who you invite because people's feelings may get hurt. Try to keep it to those who need to be at the rehearsal, their SOs and immediate family only. 
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  • Ash61612Ash61612 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_rehearsal-dinner-guest-list-ettiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:46a7d9d0-ad03-402b-9045-1677473eec21Post:b0ba7e85-175b-4416-8e3e-80de190b7a5a">Re: Rehearsal Dinner Guest List Ettiquette</a>:
    [QUOTE]It depends on who's hosting. If FMIL is hosting the RD she can invite who she wants and that includes all the OOT guests. If you are hosting and worried about paying for all those people you can choose to not invite them, but I would be careful about picking and choosing who you invite because people's feelings may get hurt. Try to keep it to those who need to be at the rehearsal, their SOs and immediate family only. 
    Posted by waltzingmatilda13[/QUOTE]
    agree
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  • mcskatcatmcskatcat member
    500 Comments Third Anniversary
    As PPs said, if she's hosting then this is something she gets to decide.  If you were hoping for it to be small, maybe you should consider hosting it yourself. 
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  • Tami87Tami87 member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    I agree if FMIL is hosting she can decide how many people she wants there.

    However, I am in the same situation, all of my side of the family (which is quite large) and any of our mutual friends will be traveling. The wedding is in FI's hometown. So we are only inviting people who are a part of the ceremony and will come to the rehearsal (wedding party and dates, flower girl and her family, readers) plus our immediate families and grandparents. The only aunt and uncles and cousins who are invited are those who are a part of the ceremony.
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