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Pre-wedding Parties

rehearsal dinner

So all of my family is coming from out of town, and my FHs family are not even interested in discussing their paying for the rehearsal dinner. I want to spend as much time with my family, but there is no way my FH and myself can pay for this along with the other expenses of the wedding. While I'm sure my family won't mind going out to eat at a restaurant, is it bad etiquette to ask oot guests and family to simply pay for their own dinner?

Re: rehearsal dinner

  • The answer is that it depends. If you have an actual rehearsal with your wedding party, etiquette requires you to host a rehearsal dinner for them. But just for them, not for all of your out of town guests. If you wanted to invite your out of town guests to a pay their own way dinner, unrelated to the rehearsal, I guess you could do that, but I wouldn't recommend calling it a rehearsal dinner, because that implies that it's being hosted. I still wouldn't think of it as being super good hostessing, but it wouldn't be a huge etiquette faux pas either.
  • If you invite people, you are hosting, so no. If you can't afford a RD, skip the rehearsal. You and fi can meet with your officiate and give the details to your wedding party, unless your ceremony is very complicated.

    That frees you up the night before the wedding for casual get together with whoever. Could you invited your relatives over for coffee and dessert?

                       
  • If you can't host a RD, you don't have to.  I would just have a get together/gatjering with your oot family if you want to spend time with them. 

    In my case, my IL's won't be paying for a RD. So Fi and I are hosting it ourselves. My mom and stepdad will be doing the cooking though, so that will help me out a ton. I am sure Fmil will help out in her way as well. Fi asked me to host a mini-Thanksgiving dinner since it's T-day weekend (and I have hosted T-day the last 3 years), but I didn't want that 'stress' on top of the wedding. LOL


    Daisypath Wedding tickers
  • Have you thought of having your RD be more casual instead of forking out a ton of money to have the RD at a restaurant the night before another formal event?

    The RD doesn't have to be fancy, it can be anything from a restaurant, to pizzas at the house, to a BBQ, etc.. as long as you're providing food to those who participated in the rehearsal and to others invited you're ok.

    We did a backyard rehearsal and then had a caribbean bbq which was delicious! We enjoyed it so much more since it was relaxing than going to a fancy restaurant the night before the big day.
  • We are having our RD in our backyard. We have a lot of out of state guests, and want to spend as much time with them as possible, so we are having about 50 people at our RD.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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