I am starting a new post to try to create a discussion about the topic without the affiliation with any one question.
In recent posts, the comment has been made that people who disagree with what the writer proposes should just keep their mouth (keyboard) shut. Or that if you answer the question, you MUST care about what the writer ends up doing. As you can probably already guess, I don't support either of those positions.
If the writer who asks, "I am going to release live toads at the end of our ceremony, what do you think?" is asking only for validation, they aren't likely to get it anywhere. Not on the Knot, not at a cocktail party, not in a social circle. They are most likely asking because they have some misgivings, or uneasiness about the idea. If they are wise, they will listen and weigh all the responses they get, If someone says, "Oh my, that is incredible animal cruelty, you should be ashamed of yourself, do you have any idea what toads do for the ecological circle?" versus, "Ew, ick!" the writer takes away different perspectives and different levels of passion about the topic. They may decide that the ecological circle, while intellectually a topic of concern, is not pertinent to their little wedding ceremony, and that 30 toads aren't going to change the path of the planet. On the other hand, the ick response may make them think of a beloved aunt who has a rather strong response to amphibians.
If every poster stuck to the "Thumper" rule, and said nothing in response, what good would it do the writer? Yes, maybe her ego would remain unbruised, her self would remain un-affronted. And her guests would endure the plague of toads she so carefully designed. And maybe great Aunt Ellie would suffer a panic attack, and make the event good fodder for family stories for years to come.
And if instead the posters decided to point out the negative sides of the jumping celebration of love, and the writer took the opportunity to defend her position and perhaps a couple of other amphibian-ophiles jumped onboard to support her, so the posters further described their position - does that really mean they care? I doubt it does. They may feel strongly in their position. They may hope to persuade the writer from her position. They may have emotional reaction to the discussion. But in the big picture, caring is a pretty strong word, and not likely the correct descriptor.
You are all very lovely people, but since other than a couple of long time posters, I don't actually know you, thus I really don't care about you, beyond the human compassion I feel towards the bulk of the species. If posters only posted to people they really cared about, or on issues they really cared about, this wouldn't be a message board, it would be a group of friends sharing thier lives, like facebook. Oh...wait, not quite that. 
So - if you think posters shouldn't disagree with the writer- do you think that the only purpose of the board is to nod our heads for whatever idea the writer proposes?
If you think that posting indicates you care about the topic, will I be the only poster on this thread?
Do you think disagreement is bad?
What do you think? ~Donna