Widows?

rymurkit · June 2012

Are there any widows here, getting married for the second time?

boaznruth · June 2012

I think we have a couple who post. They often run into many of the same issues as those who are remarrying after divorce.

Avion22 · June 2012

I am a recently-remaired widow.

My first husband died suddenly (suicide) when we were 27. I'm 31 now, and just married an amazing man who loves me more than I ever thought possible. Needless to say, I've felt just about every emotion humanly possible for the last four and half years:-)

There are several of us here. I would say that we do go through many of the same issues as divorced brides, though there are some differences.

handfast4me · June 2012

Our moderator, Retread, is a widow, too. I am so sorry for you loss, but I am also SO GLAD you found love again. I'm afraid that given the current and recent conflicts in the world, that we will be seeing more of these widows and widowers (sad part) remarrying (happy part!) in the next few years.

InfinityWings · June 2012

Divorced and widowed before 40. Never thought I would want to get married again, but here I am.

DanaLynn80 · June 2012

Widowed in Feb. 2011 and just engaged to the most amazing man. Struggling planning my second wedding and his first. Thinking this board will come in handy!

lebonbrown · June 2012

Divorced once, then "widowed" when my FI accidentally drowned two years ago. I thought I would be perfectly happy being alone for the rest of my life, but I guess the universe had other plans for me. Here I am, marrying a wonderful man in September. I couldn't be more blessed. Some days are still a struggle emotionally, but they keep getting further and further apart.

MandiNewMommy · June 2012

Yes I am. I lost my husband in 2009 after only being married a short time (he was 29 I was 27). Now 30 I am getting married again and hope to grow old with this man. It is kind of hard to do this planning this time around. I love him to death but am just not like okay...lets do this! I would love to talk with you ladies more....maybe we could do a FB group or something. I think our planning is def a little dif from everyone elses. At least for me it seems to be....

hens2005 · June 2012

My husband was also a sucide in 2008. I am now getting married in about a month to a great man that is a great father to my 7 year old son. Yet, I'm a nervous wreck and nit pick everything, I'm a stir of emotions and test EVERYTHING with him. Afraid of what will happen this time. We are having less than 40 people for a small informal wedding and I should've sent out invites last week and I'm so freaked out about it all that the invites are still in the orginal box. I freaked out on him this morning and told him all is on hold. I didn't have a great relationship with my last husband, and just feeling totally overwhelmed right now and so guilty about everything!!! I think another issue is that we wanted to go to Hawaii with just the 2 of us but our children wanted to have a ceremony so that they could offically be brothers so that is how we got to this point and it is too much, and everything is paid for so too late to cancel and go with a different plan. Please tell me I am normal, and maybe it's just PMS or something!!

FMrsY · June 2012

I am a widow. I am not engaged...yet. But I have met the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. I have so many questions that I feel would not fit my grief counseling group. So comforting to know there is a group here. My man is finalizing a divorce right now. It is difficult for me because one, I don't know what he is going through, and two, I don't know how to balance my past and guilt and my future. About me: husband died at 36 I was 33 from congenital heart disease complications. I am 35 now. No kids. I was with my husband for 6 years. My boyfriend is 35 also. No kids. I am interested to hear how you all have balanced past and future and how your partners react to situations that can come up for widows? Ex: my late husband's celebration of life Thanks all. Sarah

KJeffs · June 2012

I was married and divorced when I was eighteen all with in three months. He was cheating on me.
A few months later I met someone at work and a year later we were married. He was my best friend, my kids dad and my everything. We were married for 13 years when we found out he had cancer, he died 2 years later.
Now here I am 6 years after that and getting married again in 3 weeks. It is very different this time around. His first wife died when they were 31 and after 18 years of marriage his second ended in divorce.
I will always love my seconded husband, he will always love his first wife...and that is very Ok, because we love each other too.

MandiNewMommy · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_widows?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:a966ecaf-c5ee-4c8d-b175-aab1b0bc4897Post:c9916df2-0a31-4a35-88a4-4d0756e6da8b">Re:Widows?</a>:
[QUOTE]I am a widow. I am not engaged...yet. But I have met the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. I have so many questions that I feel would not fit my grief counseling group. So comforting to know there is a group here. My man is finalizing a divorce right now. It is difficult for me because one, I don't know what he is going through, and two, I don't know how to balance my past and guilt and my future. About me: husband died at 36 I was 33 from congenital heart disease complications. I am 35 now. No kids. I was with my husband for 6 years. My boyfriend is 35 also. No kids. I am interested to hear how you all have balanced past and future and how your partners react to situations that can come up for widows? Ex: my late husband's celebration of life Thanks all. Sarah
Posted by FMrsY[/QUOTE]

This is hard still for me today. My FI is very good at letting me talk about my late husband and have my time to visit him at the cemetry and do what I need to do to get by. I still have a few pics of him and his family around the house and FI is okay with it. I think who ever you choose to be with has to understand we were not left because we didnt get along/didnt want to be married anymore. We will always love them. You have to work at your pace and if he truely is the man for you he will work with you, hold you when you cry, and give you space when you need it. Ex: Our son was born last Aug 20th what would have been my late husband and my 3 yr annv was on Aug 23...my FI drove me to the cemerty because I was unable to drive myself.

ciligirl · June 2012

I was widowed at 29, husband 30 to colon cancer and my daughter was 5. I met my FI 2 years after he died. We have been together since 2001 and are getting married in June 2013 and it is his first marriage. I was waiting for my daughter to turn 18. My FI is the best and everyone from day one said my late husband sent him for me. He is just too good to be true. You need to be a special kind of person to be with someone who has been through what we have been through. I still miss my first husband and days like today (Father's Day) are especially tough.

On a side note...my daughter is so thrilled we are finally getting married. She wants to give me away and said to my FI yesterday, you know we are a package deal so I get a ring too, right?

kiki95632 · June 2012

I am a widow, I was married for 25 years, never thought or wanted to get married again. My friends dared me to go on a date......after a year of dating one special man, he proposed. He is the kindest sweetest man I have ever met. I now can't imagine my life without him. I never had a big wedding, and now I am doing the big wedding that I never had with his encouragement to give something I never had. We both have adult daughters and they are helping with the planning. I feel so lucky that I took that dare...;

beth34608 · June 2012

I was widowed in February 2010 - 2 months shy of 21 years. I never thought I would be marrying again, but here I am as well. I am so excited for this wedding (his first). Although lately I am having feelings of sadness, guilt, and just depression. I don't know if it is just because it is almost here, or if I feel guilty because I am marrying again... I don't know...I just can't seem to snap out of this feeling...

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