Food is Forgettable?

LuckyChalms · August 2011

Hello fellow knotties!

I had a couple quick questions about probably my biggest concern of my wedding...

Any wedding magazine will tell you that you should come up with priorities for your wedding budget (venue, dress, etc.) and I'll admit that a couple concerned guests got me a little upset. My fiance and I are complete foodies! I have worked in the wedding business for a long time and I was under the impression that it's the guests and good food and drinks that can make a party great (after it's unfortunately common for many brides to book a room because it's beautiful and get horrible food and service...). My biggest priority isn't my beauty, but how much fun my guests have (So the biggest parts of my budget are going towards food and a band).

I'd could truly care less about wearing a designer gown (not that I don't want to look nice mind you), or what type of flowers I carry/are in the centerpieces. But my friends and family seem so disgusted. They claim nobody ever remembers what they ate and criticize my lack of "fine detail" my cake in a simple two tiers of chocolate mousse and strawberries without any kind of fancy fondant or flowers, done by my aunt instead of a large bakery...

Am I really so backwards to put all my energy into something that's going to get picked over and forgotten?

martafitz1 · August 2011

I'm with you! To me, while nice, things like aisle runners, bouquets and favors are nice, they are forgettable. Ask someone a couple of months after a wedding if the aisle runner was pretty and i'll bet nobody remembers. But ask them if the food was good and chances are, if it wasn't, they will remember that!

NOLAbridealmost · August 2011

I mean, this is the food board so maybe we're more into food than other brides, but I don't care how pretty a venue is or what kind of centerpieces are on the table or even if the DJ plays weird music. I DO care if the food sucks. I hate the boring "rubber chicken" dishes at so many weddings. We made food a huge priority at our wedding and guests have been raving about it for months. Not one person commented on the (what I thought were beautiful) centerpieces or the band or the DJ.

ElisabethJoanne · August 2011

I'm not a foodie, but when it comes to food, it is important to me that there be 1) enough, 2) on time, 3) with meat. (I've attended all-pasta dinners of non-vegetarians where they were just trying to save costs. Leaving a wedding hungry is not good.)

I rather like "rubber chicken" so the kind/quality of food isn't too important to me. What is important to me is that I like the food,* that my mother and sister (with severe allergies) can eat it, and that it won't make my husband sick.

*I have narrow, but normal tastes. What I like, the majority of my guests will like, too.

jessicabessica · August 2011

I don't think you're misplacing your energies at all. If you're a foodie yourself, then having good food is not even just for your guests! My H was determined to sit down and eat at our reception because we were so excited about our menu. We did a dessert buffet instead of a wedding cake, because we didn't want something that looked pretty but tasted so-so. At our reception, people raved about the food (including the desserts) and the band, and I got tons of compliments on my outfit, including the $4 rhinestone pins I picked up from Wal Mart.

Day of, people will tell you (and it will be true) that you will look beautiful no matter how much you paid for your gown. In the planning stages, everyone likes to give their opinion and tell you how they would do things differently. I would suggest that you stop sharing all the details or you just thank people for their input and change the topic.

peanutty2 · August 2011

I have to agree, one of the few things I remember from all the weddings I've been to is consistently - the food!! I don't remember any centerpieces (except for one because it was outrageous), i have no idea if the dresses were designer, if the bridesmaids shoes matched, if the napkins matched the tableclothes, what flowers were carried, etc. All I really remember is if people were dancing and if I ate well!

That said, those are my 2 biggest concerns of my own

There's not going to be a lot of food (certainly not compared to the much bigger and bigger budget weddings I've been to) and it's a sunday afternoon (and no hard liquor) so i'm afraid there will be no dancing.

031107 · August 2011

When we got married, we cared most about the food we were going to serve our guests. We picked the venue off the food (granted, had the best food been at a dirty shack we would have picked the second best food at a nicer venue). It was important to us that eveyone enjoyed what they ate and remember the good food at our wedding.

We had a small wedding (65 guests) so we didn't go for the fun party wedding atmosphere, but the good time, great food atmosphere.

mbaete · August 2011

We are having an outdoor wedding, and we are having hamburgers, hotdogs, and all of the fixings. (potato salad, mac&cheese, coleslaw, baked beans, greenbeans). I figure that everyone likes these types of food, and while they are not the best or most elegant, everyone will still like them.Ive been to plenty of weddings with some very bizarre foods, and they were meorable but not in a good way. I want people to enjoy themselves but I could care less if they remember a great meal. I would rather them remember having an overall wonderful time.

martafitz1 · August 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_food-cakes_food-forgettable?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:23Discussion:c27b041f-5063-439b-ba78-a8956dee2b40Post:a01c9ad6-20e8-4bbb-bee1-544f50cc7baf">Re: Food is Forgettable?</a>:
[QUOTE]We are having an outdoor wedding, and we are having hamburgers, hotdogs, and all of the fixings. (potato salad, mac&cheese, coleslaw, baked beans, greenbeans). I figure that everyone likes these types of food, and while they are not the best or most elegant, everyone will still like them.Ive been to plenty of weddings with some very bizarre foods, and they were meorable but not in a good way. I want people to enjoy themselves but I could care less if they remember a great meal. I would rather them remember having an overall wonderful time.
Posted by mbaete[/QUOTE]

<div>I would think that your guests WILL remember the good food! They know it's an outdoor wedding, I would assume they will know it's a fairly casual affair and will be expecting a casual meal to go along with it. Most people love a cookout! Good food doesn't have to be fancy food. I would be very happy to eat at your wedding!</div>

goobersinlove · August 2011

I right there with you also. FI and I are foodies too, so awesome food and cake is our biggest priority (photography comes in close second). So we are splurging on high-quality prime rib as our front and center. Haven't figured out the rest of the menu yet, but it will all be good... no rubber chicken.

I hate going to weddings where the food is so-so or just plain sucks. I don't remember centerpieces or what your dress looked like exactly. I always remember food.

STICK. TO. YOUR. GUNS.
If you are a foodie, have the best food ever and you will not regret it.

SSaltzman87 · August 2011

The only thing I remember from the most recent wedding I went to (when I was 17) was the food at my cousin's wedding- for the right reasons :-)

She had a DW in Idaho along Priest Lake and there were a lot of regional ingredients in the food, notably huckleberries. I remember having huckleberry ribs at her wedding and they were dynamite!

I definitely think the food is important. It contributes to the success of the 'party' I guess you could say.

Kreskin79 · August 2011

In my experience, people only remember the music and the food; in fact, my father insisted we do a tasting before signing a contract, for fear the offerings would not be up to par. If people don't like the food, it's to the detriment of the party atmosphere.

FaithCaitlin · August 2011

Food is important to me but there are other things that are more important to me.

That said, if food is the most important to you-- stick to your guns! This is YOUR day. Don't listen to the naysayers!

vantilka · August 2011

I think people tend to remember the thing they liked the most or that most surprised them. I went to a pretty standard wedding and reception with great food and remember the food. I went to a pretty standard wedding with some really cool details and I remember one of the things I really liked (read: want to copy). If your food is really good they will rave and it will set the whole party atmosphere, but if your food is only so-so, it will leave people feeling blah. Spend your money/energy where it's most important to you.

kaesha · August 2011

Yeah, I'm big into the importance of food too. It's the one thing that makes or breaks a wedding reception for me.

I always think it's weird when people put tons of energy into decor over it... I mean, if I was hosting a dinner party at my house, I wouldn't serve something mediocre but point out my amazing centrepieces as compensation, you know?

megkbush · August 2011

Thinking back, I only remember a few meals I've had at weddings and the ones I remember have been out of the box (not steak & chicken). That being said, food was really important to me and I'm having my reception at what is, in my opinion, the best steakhouse ever and my options will be steak & chicken & fish. I think it's okay for everyone to pick a few things that are super important to them and focus a little more effort or money on those things. For me, it was location and food. To others it's their dress or flowers or music or photography.

emilyandjoeygetmarried · August 2011

I think your family is insane...well maybe not insane but to me YOUR priorities are the ones that are correct, not anyone elses.
My best friend had a 30 thousand dollar wedding and all me and my FI talk about is how bad the food was...and it was a BEAUTIFUL wedding, but bad food just kills it for me.
I agree with PPS
stick.to.your.guns.

deanabuonincontri · August 2011

Food is the most important - in my oppinion anyway! You can do flowers and centerpieces and favors, etc on a budget and no one will be the wiser. But if you do food and drink too cheaply....it will show. You want people leaving with full bellys! And you want them to remember how good the food was! If the food sucks, people WILL talk about it. And you dont want that!

RebeccaB88 · August 2011

The only thing I remember more than really good food, is really BAD food.

jayetheartist · August 2011

Agree with PPs. I've said from the beginning that there's no way I wanted to have the same boring crap I've eaten at every single catered wedding I've ever been to. Plus, after spending all day going through the pre-wedding stress, I want to be looking forward to dinner, not wishing I could sneak out for some indulgent take-out instead because I know the catered stuff is the same old boring chicken.

Your family may be all focused on the little visual details now, but when the ceremony is over and they're hungry for dinner I'm positive they'll be grateful you set food as a priority.

vexie · August 2011

I totally agree with you!! Most guests wont be able to tell how much I spent on my wedding dress, or even remember all those tiny details most brides stress over.... but 2 1/2 months after the wedding we are STILL getting people calling us telling us how AMAZING the food was at our wedding! We specifically chose a 4 star fine dining establishment (was an old church converted into a restaurant) for our venue. The only cost was the food and drinks. They even provided the flowers for the tables which totally didn't even match my colours (my bouquet was red and pink, the flowers on the table were purple and yellow haha). Some brides would have freaked... but the meal was sooo incredibly good, and the service impeccable that those details didn't matter in the slightest.

Trust me, no one will complaine if you give them a specatuclar meal

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