How'd you pick out BM dresses?

Rachel405 · February 2012

I have been in a couple weddings where I loathed by BM dress. I want to avoid this and have my bridesmaids have a say in the dresses.

Do I just plan a group shopping outing and ask for their input? Wedding colors are pink and green so I want to ask if there's one that they like better. Am I giving too much thought into this? I am a people-pleaser by nature and I want my BMs to love their dress and feel pretty in it. I don't really care about the style of the dress. I'm not wearing it, after all, and I just am happy to have people close to me in the wedding.

Thoughts??

JaxInBlue · February 2012

You could always take the route of specifying a designer, fabric, length and color and letting your bridesmaids pick a dress that fit those elements. This gives your bridesmaids the opportunity to select a style of dress that they are comfortable in. You can specify less (for example just a color and length but not a designer and fabric) depending on how much consistency between dresses you want.

I started wanting to do this, but my group found a dress everyone was happy with so we just went with that one style. We had worked primarily by e-mail, as there were two geographical groups trying to shop. Before you do any shopping though, make sure you get a firm sense of everyone's budget for attire, privately, so that you know what your price limit is.

Rachel405 · February 2012

My girls are spread out so I'm going to go with David's Bridal. Is it bad to ask them to pay for the dress? I have always paid for my BM dress.I just feel bad asking.

Two of my bridesmaids' daughters are going to be the flower girls, do I pay for those dresses? (I am getting them little tutu dresses.... (inspiration: http://pinterest.com/pin/161074124142198328/)

Side note, I am going to offer them a hairstylist on the day of the wedding who will do updo's for $50 (a friend of mine-she is doing my hair) but I am certainly not going to force anyone to get their hair done.

ShakeUpTampa · February 2012

I had a dress picked out from AA that each girl tried on the day I bought my dress, since they were all with me anyhow. They all agreed. Two weeks later I said NO NO NO and changed my mind.

I was originally going to let my one BM choose fabric and length and she kept being "too busy for it" so then I let my sister choose. Satin and Long. So I went through the store and picked out like 14 dresses I was cool with. I then let each girl pick their own dress and I went one on one with each of them to make their selection. Each of them love their dress and it fits their personality. Two are in one color and the MOH in another color.

froggatt.clare · February 2012

I suggest talking to each bridesmaid individually to determine their dress budget, and make sure that there are options in the lowest price range. Bridesmaids do expect to pay for their own dress. Its great that you're giving the option of having their hair done or doing their own!

I think it would be cute to let them choose between pink and green, or to choose a shade and let them choose the dress (to most easily match the dresses, choose a national line like Davids, etc.)

You do not necessarily need to get all or some of them together to try on dresses. It can be a fun outing for some, but not fun for others who might not like trying things on in a larger group. Plus, if some are OOT they may not be able to make it.

The FG dresses are ADORABLE. Much cuter than the traditional ones, I love them. I think generally parents know they are paying for flower girl attire, but again discuss their budget before finalizing a look.

Good luck!

graysquirrel · February 2012

I had a very specific look that I wanted for my BM dresses because the wedding had a Victorian theme. I knew that I wanted them long and not too modern looking. My mom and I scouted and then we picked a salon that had dresses in the girls' price range. We selected some gowns and then I had my 3 BMs try them on. I also asked them for their input and they pulled dresses that they thought fit. They ended up picking a dress that all of us liked, so we went with that. It ended up working really well!

It is assumed that BMs will pay for their own dresses. It is always best to ask them privately what their budgets are before shopping and then go with the lowest number. I might ask them if they have any comfort concerns, too. For example, I would be highly uncomfortable wearing something above my knees. It isn't rude of you to expect them to pay for the dress as long as you keep it in budget.

As for hair and makeup, if you require it done, you should pay. If it is optional, your girls can decide what they want to do.

calliopeia2013 · February 2012

My BMs are picking out their own dresses as long as they're within the dark blue color spectrum and cocktail length. I'm not a huge fan of the matchy-matchy look, and my BMs have a dramatic spectrum of sizes and body types.

FWIW, I was also in a wedding where we just did a group shopping trip, and we found a dress we all loved (and with awesome re-wearing potential). For my own wedding, my BMs are spread across several states and countries, so that's not really feasible.

And yes, you can ask them to pay for their dress. It's understood when you agree to be a bridesmaid that you'll pay for your dress. The flower girls' parents are expected to pay for their dresses; same deal. You don't pay for clothes for anyone in the wedding party.

shadowkat08 · February 2012

I only have three bridesmaids, and I just let them loose in David's Bridal, since I didn't have a specific look in mind nor did I care if they didn't look the same.

They found things they liked, and then asked my opinion. Finally we found one that they all liked and looked good in and came in the colours I wanted.

LoveMuffins · February 2012

Ask them what their budget is and as long as you stick to a dress within their budgets then you def do not have to pay for the dress.

I asked my girls to get their dresses from David's Bridal. They picked which dress they wanted, it just had to be floor length and holly green. A couple of them picked the same dress, a couple of them didn't, but they all looked fabulous and most of them have already found an occasion to re-wear their dress because they love them (and I just got married in Sept!)

OliveOilsMom · February 2012

I have 5 BMs and picked a day where we could all go together to the bridal salon. I did want them to all have the same dress. My only requirement for the dress was knee length. They tried on dresses like crazy women until they narrowed it down to 3, then it was on me.

Bett2012 · February 2012

I asked my BM if they had a preference of colour since I really didn't care all that much. (Turns out they didn't either and I had to make the choice!) I took my MOH out shopping and narrowed it down to three, showed my mom pics and *basically narrowed it down to one*, sent a pic to my other BMs and said "what do you think" and they said that they loved it and couldn't stop staring at the pictures, when could they give me their measurements?

my BMs are SO easy going though, so it really depends. if you have picky/ strong willed BMs, you might not be able to please everyone :S

Good luck

notyetavet · February 2012

I have a total of 6 BMs and most of them are far away. I went shopping with FI's 2 sisters and let them pick whatever knee length marine blue dress from David's Bridal they wanted as long as they both picked the same fabric. After they chose, I told the other girls to choose a knee-length marine blue dress in satin. I still went with most of them when they picked their dresses, I just didn't dictate specifically what they had to wear. Easy peasy.

Whenever I think about BM dress shopping, I think about when my best friend got married and she wanted all 5 of us to match. It was a disaster because 1 BM was extremely opinionated, 2 were really self-conscious, and 2 were annoyed and just wanted to be done shopping. If you end up all going shopping together, make sure you tell them ahead of time what sort of dress you are looking for so you can make a choice in 1 trip.

Hilraythebride · February 2012

You could just tell them to go somewhere like DB and get a dress in whatever color you choose. You could also specify the length if you wish.

That way everyone gets something they are comfortable with and what they want to wear and can afford.

katherinelawre · February 2012

Keep in mind BM that might be more blessed up top then others. Half my bridal party are big busted, so I picked a dress with straps for their comfort.

How'd you pick out BM dresses?

Re: How'd you pick out BM dresses?

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