Broken hearted

Sunrise1028 · July 2012

I called my dad after work today, I knew that he was looking at the possibility of losing his right foot and calf in the next month or so. When I called him today he told me that it's definite and he'll be losing both of his legs up to his knees. Now mind you all that he has had type 2 diabetes for my entire life and has NEVER taken care of himself, which is part of the reason why I drive myself so much to eat better and exercise more. And I have asked him why for my entire life, basically his response comes down to quality of life versus quantity, but now he wants to life forever and can't combat those cravings he's never had to before.

Anyway, when I spoke with him I was really angry, really really angry, so I went to the gym. Now, following a message from my aunt, his youngest sister, I am just broken

Lobsters25 · July 2012

I'm so so sorry sunrise. Stay strong and you're very much in our thoughts and prayers tonight. One idea, though, when it is time to move toward the next stepdoes he live close enough that you or any friends could bring healthy, tasty dinners?

Sarah5200 · July 2012

Sunrise, I am so sorry you and your family are going through this. My own dad has Crohn's disease among other things and has always used the "quality over quantity" reasoning; it has always scared me because I know one day that it will catch up with him - I just can't imagine what it must be like for you now seeing & hearing his grief.

Prayers & love to you this evening

Tommienp · July 2012

Prayers are with you Sunrise! I have not had to personally struggle with any of those but my mother battles her weight and I have the fear of her being diabetic! Hang in there and ask God to guide you thru this time of sorrow! Sometimes it takes us to see something unexpected for us to want to be better!

Prayers coming your way!!

Sunrise1028 · July 2012

Thank you guys, it brings tears to my eyes seeing the thoughtful messages from all of you. I so greatly appreciate it!

As does my family

souptin · July 2012

Sunrise,
I'm so sorry to hear this. FI family is the same in regards to food and lifestyle. Not a clogged artery, threat of diabetes, high blood pressure risk of heart attack and death or anything will get them to change. FI gets really upset with the possibility of living without his dad and I keep reminding him that his Dad is a grown man and he (just like us) gets to decide how he wants to live.

I think you are doing an amazing thing by recognizing what where your dad went wrong and working toward a healthy future for yourself.

Stay strong! Sending hugs

dawnp917 · July 2012

My thoughts are with you. I know how hard it is when a family member is overweight/ obese and won't do anything about it. I know my mother will end up with diabetes ( if she doesn't have it already) or some other weight related medical condition. So sorry you. Are going through this with your dad.

dewingedpixie · July 2012

So sorry to hear this. I've been in a similair situation (not with the legs themselves but the eating not taking care of themselves) and I've given up on those people. It really hurt me to do but I realised I cant change them so as much as it hurts I had to let go.

The funny thing about the quality over quantity arguement is that if you take care of yourself you actually get both.

joe&cassie · July 2012

I completely understand the grief and anger. FI is looking at the possibility of losing a leg but not because of diabetes or anything. Hang in their sunrise. My thoughts are with you.

Sunrise1028 · July 2012

I followed up with his dr's office this morning and then they called me later this afternoon, I thought that everything was ok ... but turns out there are a lot of unanswered questions. BUT my dad verbally gave them the ok to talk to me about things regarding his condition. Basically it is questionable whether his legs will be amputated or not. And the dr is out of the office until Monday of course. The lady I spoke with the second time was very helpful and understanding of my dad's situation. The worst part about this whole situation is that my dad is not overweight at all ... 5'10ish 175 ... really thin, before he moved into his current home he was developing a sever eating disorder. He would only eat like once a day, but that meal was like a pound of hamburger on bread, or a whole box of cherrios and he assumed that as long as he stayed thin nothing would happen to him. Being two hours away from him is difficult and he is constantly forgetting things, so my aunts and uncles are sending me emails or calling me and asking why my brother and I haven't spoken to my dad. It's just rough. I'm soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo worried that he's going to die or something around my wedding day. I can't even imagine what I would do.

Sunrise1028 · July 2012

Also, I want to reinterate how amazing I think each of you are! Thank you so very much! It's almost better than therapy

helleb · July 2012

I am so sorry honey. It sounds like a very frustrating and emotional situation. I can't say I have been in your place but I know how it feels to worry over a loved one. You and your family are in my prayers. Keep strong and do what feels right. Everything will work its way its supposed to

Hugs & Prayers!