This will be a little long to give some background. When I started looking for bridesmaid dresses I asked my bridesmaids for a budget. They told me that they would pay for whatever I picked (but nothing outrageous like over $300.) I told them all to search for dress options so that we could get something they liked and at a reasonable price. The only one who did look was Lucy. The dress she found was at a reasonable price, but the color I wanted wasn't available. I picked a $130 dress at a local salon, but Lucy is tall (and not the smallest BM) so the knee length hemline and short slit in the back came up way to high on Lucy, so that was out. There are four months to my wedding date and we still didn't have a dress. I went to another salon with three other BM's and I picked a dress that I thought would look great on everybody (even Lucy.) The dress was $158 with a $92 downpayment to order the dress. To be sure that we would have the dresses by mid-March 2013, the dresses had to be ordered by yesterday (December 28, 2012) and no later. I didn't want to ask people to spend that much money so soon after Christmas, but I did the best I could with what little time I had left. I knew there would be a possibility that someone wouldn't be able to afford it. Unfortunately for Lucy, because of her size and additional alterations, her dress was going to cost about $80 more than the other BM's. Later in the evening Lucy called (she was crying and very upset) and told me that she could not afford the dress and had to back out. I told her that I understood. FI and I decided that we could pay the additional cost of Lucy's dress. But when I called her that night she never answered. FI and I have called her about 10 times since then and she never answered. On Christmas day she sent FI a text message that said, "Thank you for giving me some time. I'm ready to listen if you're ready to talk." We didn't know what that meant, but we told her to call us ASAP. She's still never called.
Also another BM, Hayley, told me that she couldn't afford the downpayment and wanted to know if I could put the downpayment up for her to order it. I told her that I didn't think I could afford it (didn't tell her about wanting to pay for Lucy's additional cost). Hayley asked, "Well do I have to wear the same dress as everyone else?" I told her that she had to wear the same dress as the other bridesmaids, and that I understood if she didn't thnk she could afford it and had to back out. Hayley told me that she was angry and couldn't talk to me anymore that night. I don't understand why Hayley is mad. I've called Hayley three times since and she still hasn't called me back.
I feel like I did the best I could with what little time I had left. I asked my BM's what their budget was. And for more than four months I asked them to find affordable dresses that they liked. I feel like they at least owe it to me to actually talk to me after I've been trying to get in touch with them. I'm not angry that they won't be able to be BM's. And we were going to pay for Lucy's additional costs, but now I've decided otherwise.