Ok... this might be a tad long... apologies.
So my father passed away when I was 12, and we're having to rework a few wedding traditions. I want to involve my mom in these as much as possible, because she has been the most important person in my life for the last 12 years and we're very close. However she's really having an issue taking on the roles that my father would otherwise be filling if he were here today, such as walking me down the isle and giving me away and the parent's dance.
She insisted that my grandfather (her father) walk me down the isle, which I absolutely don't have a problem with, we're very close as well, and he didn't get to walk her down the isle at her wedding. But I asked her if they could both walk me down? and she said it wouldn't be right... and refused to elaborate on what she meant on that.
I've also told her many times that I want to do a mother/daughter dance at the reception, but she said the same thing "it wouldn't be right" and told me I should dance with one of my uncles, who I love, but none of them I'm particularly close with and I would feel really awkward. I have a feeling she doesn't want to because of when I graduated; after the ceremony there's a mother/son father/daughter dance, and we danced together and got a lot of weirded out looks (which is weird considering the majority of people I went to high school with, and their parents, know my father had died).
I understand if she doesn't want to walk down the isle, as she is fairly traditional, but I can't imagine dancing with anyone else in my family at the reception. And it's not like any of my family will think it's strange. This one thing is really important to me, and don't know how to make her understand. So far she just brushes it off everytime I try to bring up what song we should dance to or explain to her how much it means to me.
