Paid for Bridesmaid Dress

Re: Paid for Bridesmaid Dress

• AJuliaNJ member

  

  March 2013

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_paid-for-bridesmaid-dress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:20fc493d-a72a-4461-8096-4a63c8b8e9d2Post:fc01dda9-008f-4359-a280-0f8781324102">Paid for Bridesmaid Dress</a>:
  [QUOTE]Hi Ladies, So my one bridesmaid and her daughter the flower girl couldn't afford thier dresses at the time it was due to be ordered so I said I would order it for her we paid for it and she said she would pay me back mid- Feb and still hasn't.  I had a bridesmaids luncheon last Sunday and she "forgot" to bring it last Sunday.  Who can I get my money back ladies??
  Posted by vkayse137[/QUOTE
  <div>
  </div><div>It doesn't seem likely that you'll get it back. From my experience, once someone has made multiple promises to pay you back at different times and hasn't, they are unable or unwilling to pay you back. She knows she owes you money, and all of the nagging in the world isn't going to help. If you keep asking, she is just going to feel awful and guilty that she doesn't have the money (or if she has it but feels like she shouldn't have to pay you back, she's just going to be resentful).</div><div>
  </div><div>My general advice is to never lend someone money unless you can deal with not getting it back. My advice for this situation is to just make it a gift (especially since these items are for your wedding) and you will feel less frustrated. There's not much you can do. </div>

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• Summer2011Bride member

  

  March 2013 edited March 2013

  Yeah, unfortunately that can happen when you lend people money. I agree with PP that nagging her will not help. I completely understand your frustration as you were doing a nice thing and that's money you are out. But unless you honestly want to take her to small claims court for this (which I wouldn't recommend), I don't know what more you can do.
  
  Maybe give it a couple months in case she is just trying to get the money together and truly can't afford it right now, then ask again. Perhaps she IS intending to pay you back but is embarrassed to say she can't afford it yet.
  
  ETA: Did you ever ask her what her budget was privatey before deciding on a dress? If it was out of her budget then, I don't see how you thought she would magically be able to afford it later.

  
  
  
  
  

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• libby2483 member

  

  March 2013

  My mom paid for one of my BMs dresses, and she promised to pay her back.  This friend has struggled to manage her money for years, and my mom knew she would likely never actually see the money.  She was fine with it.  Over a year later, my mom still hasn't seen the money, and she knows she probably never will.  It was worth it to her because it meant my friend could be a BM.  

  
  

  You could gently ask her about it in a few months.  If she doesn't have it then, I wouldn't press the issue.  Ditto PP's suggestion of thinking of it as a gift, and not letting it cause a rift in the friendship.  

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