Snarky Brides

Bridesmaid-zilla!

Ever since I began dating S my older sister B would always say snarky comments about us. Things that she would say to just purpously get under my skin and hurt my feelings. She's always been a "diva". She recently got engaged in June 2012 to her boyfriend of three years. 
My fiance and I have been dating for the same amount of time and I recently got engaged in September. 

When I told her the exciting news, her reaction was one for the books, and one I expected. She said "congrats. but if you even THINK about getting married before me, i'll kill you." Obviously, she was kidding, but it still threw me for a loop. It hurt that she couldn't genuinely be happy for S and I. 

Part of me feels bad for stealing her spotlight, since she had gotten engaged only a few months before me. But at the same time, she's always been putting my relationship down instead of supporting it. 

It hasn't gotten better since then. S and I have always wanted a fall wedding, so we're planning for Fall 2014. B and her fiance are planning on getting married in Spring 2014. We got our engagement photos taken a few weeks ago, and when my sister found out she of course couldn't be happy for me. 

She'll text me things about her wedding to try and "compete" with me and to make hers sound better. I've been ignoring all of her mean texts, because frankly, they're immature. She's going to be one of my bridesmaids, but I'm already tired of her attitude. I know I should talk to her, but she never owns up to her problems. Argh! Help!
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Re: Bridesmaid-zilla!

  • edited October 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_bridesmaid-zilla?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:18e3a79c-34ce-48fe-80f8-4f90bab74dcdPost:ff68ea31-30f1-4152-84df-f7d4e6d8b0ce">Re: Bridesmaid-zilla!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Help with what exactly? Your wedding is TWO years away for Pete's sake. While checking things out is NBD, there's nothing to even be actively doing at this point. Do you realize how much trends change from year to year? If you don't want to 'compete' with your sister, don't talk about anything wedding related with her.
    Posted by jcbsjr[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div><font color="#800080">Notice how I said that I don't respond to her texts? So you could say that I'm not talking about wedding related things with her. You're right, two years is a while away. But within a year, we're going to have to start booking the essentials (ceremony & reception venues, DJ, caterer). Also, I don't see the problem with planning things early.</font>
    </div>
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  • edited October 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_bridesmaid-zilla?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:18e3a79c-34ce-48fe-80f8-4f90bab74dcdPost:06568b5c-cc26-4cf4-982b-038635050089">Re: Bridesmaid-zilla!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Bridesmaid-zilla! : Yeah I don't know what you need help with right now either. She's getting married first like she wanted.  I would just not talk weddings with her.
    Posted by Edie Bee[/QUOTE]

    <div><font color="#800080">No, I'll be getting married Fall 2014 whereas she'll be getting married Spring 2014. So S and I will be getting married first.</font></div>
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  • edited October 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_bridesmaid-zilla?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:18e3a79c-34ce-48fe-80f8-4f90bab74dcdPost:fabfb4de-e6df-40a7-bb70-9b800ebf8d25">Re: Bridesmaid-zilla!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bridesmaid-zilla! : You're quick. You've already edited before I could respond. I was engaged in August and married in April so yeah, I planned a wedding in 8 months. Two years is hardly crunch time. Good lord. There might be someone jealous here but it doesnt sound like your sister.
    Posted by jcbsjr[/QUOTE]

    <div><font color="#800080">Well I think that the problem will only get worse with time. I realize that two years is a ways away, thank you. I never said anything about "crunch time," I know that I have time to plan and think things through. You didn't need to respond to my post if you didn't think there was a problem. </font></div>
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  • edited October 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_bridesmaid-zilla?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:18e3a79c-34ce-48fe-80f8-4f90bab74dcdPost:32ace245-7125-4506-891c-a28057b084b3">Re: Bridesmaid-zilla!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Also some vendors might not even book this early out.  I know when I booked hotel rooms for my out of town guests, they made me wait until 1 year prior.  And I don't know what else you could *do* right now.  I wouldn't be picking bridemaid dresses this early or anything like that.
    Posted by Edie Bee[/QUOTE]<div><font color="#800080">
    </font></div><div><font color="#800080">Yeah, I'm not planning anything in stone yet. All we've done is look at some possible venues, gone to one wedding show, and looked at some DJs. Basically we're just looking to see what's out there and what our options are. I was told by most of the venues and DJs that we'll need to start booking them by the end of 2012 because they fill up fast. I guess it just depends on where you live. I haven't decided on dresses, flowers, cake, etc.</font>

    </div>
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_bridesmaid-zilla?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:18e3a79c-34ce-48fe-80f8-4f90bab74dcdPost:882363b6-f6ee-4e5c-a30c-4d3acd0fd38e">Re: Bridesmaid-zilla!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bridesmaid-zilla! : No, I'll be getting married Fall 2014 whereas she'll be getting married Spring 2014. So S and I will be getting married first.
    Posted by missyjp94[/QUOTE]

    Do you live in Australia or something?  I mean, here in the US spring usually happens before fall.  Usually.  Stranger things have happened.

    image
    Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
  • edited October 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_bridesmaid-zilla?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:18e3a79c-34ce-48fe-80f8-4f90bab74dcdPost:b11a7d39-5ce4-4d5f-95af-d976cab25803">Re: Bridesmaid-zilla!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bridesmaid-zilla! : Then how is she competing with you if she doesn't know what your ideas are?
    Posted by jcbsjr[/QUOTE]<div><font color="#800080">
    </font></div><div><font color="#800080">Last weekend S and I got our engagement pictures done. She texted me during the week and said, "i saw your engagement pictures on facebook, P and I will be getting ours done in the winter. we think that they'll look prettiest then..." and then she stated she was getting them done for free by a pretty nice photography studio in town and that it'll be better because the photographer is one of their friends, so "P and her can be more comfortable since they know the photographer." (as oposed to S and I who didn't really know ours.) I understand she's probably right, but I feel like she didn't need to include it.</font>

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_bridesmaid-zilla?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:18e3a79c-34ce-48fe-80f8-4f90bab74dcdPost:47d47d09-f100-4747-9f92-0f3c79d40d16">Re: Bridesmaid-zilla!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Last I checked, south Dakota was in the states. Lol.
    Posted by jcbsjr[/QUOTE]

    The locations aren't always accurate.  I figured I'd ask since that's the only logical explanation ;)

    image
    Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_bridesmaid-zilla?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:18e3a79c-34ce-48fe-80f8-4f90bab74dcdPost:4ab7f60c-834e-463d-a2f9-461fd4a5051a">Re: Bridesmaid-zilla!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bridesmaid-zilla! : There is no problem. You seem to want to create one that doesn't exist. Chill the eff out or you'll make yourself (more) nuts before you even get married. You never answered : how are you getting married before her if your wedding is in the fall of the same year?
    Posted by jcbsjr[/QUOTE]

    <div><font color="#800080">My bad, S and I are getting married Fall 2014 and she'll be getting married in Spring 2015. Are you happy now?</font></div>
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  • Dude, Missy, are you seriously going back and making all your posts purple?  Because some of them were totally black.  FYI, colored font is a forum etiquette no-no. 

    image
    Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_bridesmaid-zilla?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:18e3a79c-34ce-48fe-80f8-4f90bab74dcdPost:99392742-582d-43e2-9fc3-36cdb20f45c1">Re: Bridesmaid-zilla!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bridesmaid-zilla! : My bad, S and I are getting married Fall 2014 and she'll be getting married in Spring 2015. <strong>Are you happy now?</strong>
    Posted by missyjp94[/QUOTE]

    Yes, because it actually makes sense now. 

    image
    Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_bridesmaid-zilla?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:18e3a79c-34ce-48fe-80f8-4f90bab74dcdPost:47d47d09-f100-4747-9f92-0f3c79d40d16">Re: Bridesmaid-zilla!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Last I checked, south Dakota was in the states. Lol.
    Posted by jcbsjr[/QUOTE]

    <div>Wait.  They split up the Dakota territory?  Well crap.  circle the wagons and prepare for attack.</div><div>
    </div><div>Also, in SD there is no reason to book anything this far out unless you have a very specific vendor in mind.  They just want you to book now so they can get some of your money in the form of a deposit.</div>
  • OP, how old are you?? By the sounds of it, you're young. The "problems" you've posted about are exactly why people think young brides (like myself) are idiots. Grow up. 

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_bridesmaid-zilla?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:18e3a79c-34ce-48fe-80f8-4f90bab74dcdPost:fd0af222-9d3a-4b16-ba56-5abb278ecd23">Re: Bridesmaid-zilla!</a>:
    [QUOTE]OP, how old are you?? By the sounds of it, you're young. The "problems" you've posted about are exactly why people think young brides (like myself) are idiots. Grow up. 
    Posted by misssunshine17[/QUOTE]

    <div>i think she's either 18   Unfortunately, immaturity seems to span the generations.  ;)</div>
  • I'm late to this, but it made my brain hurt to read. The purple is hurting my retinas too, gah.

    I agree with not booking anything just yet. Last time I checked South Dakota wasn't exactly a booming metropolis, so I think it's safe to say you'll get vendors you want even if you wait until the year mark. 

    Your sister is crazypants, but honestly, you also sound a little cra-cra. Don't talk wedding at all, mostly, for real, period. You have two years, she has two and half. Everyone will be ready to stab you both if you drag this petty garbage out for the next almost three years. 
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  • TheVirginiansTheVirginians member
    500 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    edited October 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_bridesmaid-zilla?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:18e3a79c-34ce-48fe-80f8-4f90bab74dcdPost:99392742-582d-43e2-9fc3-36cdb20f45c1">Re: Bridesmaid-zilla!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bridesmaid-zilla! : My bad, S and I are getting married Fall 2014 and she'll be getting married in Spring 2015. Are you happy now?
    Posted by missyjp94[/QUOTE]



    Missy, you are very rude. All people did was ask you to explain your multiple date errors and you answer like this? Did that make you happy? Be polite.

    Who is the "maid-zilla" in your title? Sounds like two brides, not maids.
  • Here's my question. Why is she a bridesmaid if she doesn't support your relationship and drives you crazy? I wouldn't have someone stand up for me if that's how they treated me. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_bridesmaid-zilla?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:18e3a79c-34ce-48fe-80f8-4f90bab74dcdPost:2fdb2da2-7a95-483d-a24a-88a73e3a2af5">Re: Bridesmaid-zilla!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bridesmaid-zilla! : Missy, you are very rude. All people did was ask you to explain your multiple date errors and you answer like this? Did that make you happy? Be polite. Who is the "maid-zilla" in your title? Sounds like two brides, not maids.
    Posted by va4ryans[/QUOTE]

    I think it's dumb of you to tell HER to be polite when no one else that posts here is expected to be polite.  Come on.

    image
    Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_bridesmaid-zilla?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:18e3a79c-34ce-48fe-80f8-4f90bab74dcdPost:379deef1-0b0c-4682-b54d-5d02f0a381fa">Re: Bridesmaid-zilla!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bridesmaid-zilla! : I think it's dumb of you to tell HER to be polite when no one else that posts here is expected to be polite.  Come on.
    Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]

    <div>True story.  It's anarchy here.</div>
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_bridesmaid-zilla?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:18e3a79c-34ce-48fe-80f8-4f90bab74dcdPost:379deef1-0b0c-4682-b54d-5d02f0a381fa">Re: Bridesmaid-zilla!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bridesmaid-zilla! : I think it's dumb of you to tell HER to be polite when no one else that posts here is expected to be polite.  Come on.
    Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]



    I expect all to be polite.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_bridesmaid-zilla?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:18e3a79c-34ce-48fe-80f8-4f90bab74dcdPost:0c8677e0-73c8-40c2-a2e5-3ca29dfde68c">Re: Bridesmaid-zilla!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bridesmaid-zilla! : I expect all to be polite.
    Posted by va4ryans[/QUOTE]

    <div>Do you find yourself disappointed often then?</div><div>
    </div><div>I wish people would be polite but frankly, I expect them to speak their minds and even to be rude on occasion since that's the way the majority of the world operates.</div>
  • Yes, disappointed sometimes. Yesterday I went to church so it was my non-snarky day.
  • I was totally entertained until I learned you do not live in the Southern Hemisphere.  Sounds like you need to chill out since none of this is a big deal unless you're talking wedding stuff with her (or posting it on facebook, etc).
  • Holy Moly.  Well, I agree with everyone here.  Sounds like your sis is getting what she wants, sounds like you aren't talking to her about anything WR...so....shouldn't the problem be solved????

    Oh, I also don't see how she was being rude talking about your engagement pics.  She was stating facts.  She is having pics taken by someone she knows so that her and FI will be comfy.  Okay, give her a cookie, what the big stinkin' deal???

    Also, I'd pump the breaks on wedding planning.  I've been engaged perpetually...I think almost 3 years now...and we are still 7 months out.  We got ideas and stuff, but you can't really book anyone 2 years out.  Not to mention, you can add friends, lose friends, or move in two years....seems like a strange thing to do.

    image

    June 1, 2013 - finally making it official!

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