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Hawaii

DW?

I'm just getting started on planning my DW to Hawaii. Is there any proper etiquette on offering to pay for people traveling to the wedding? Should I offer to cover any travel expenses..rooms...etc?
I'm only inviting family and a few close friends.

Re: DW?

  • edited December 2011
    Welcome and congratulations!  There is no expectation for you to pay for any guest travel to destination weddings.  At minimum, you should have a reception to thank guests for attending and if possible, one other event (rehearsal dinner, drinks, brunch, BBQ, etc) as an extra thank you, just like you would host for out of town guests at home.

    Some people also like to budget to help with travel for key guests (bridal party, parents, etc).  This usually is not for the entire trip, but maybe 1-2 nights in the group hotel, etc.  This is a very nice gesture but definitely not in any way required.

    Hope that helps!  You may also find this thread helpful:
    http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-theme-boards_destination-weddings_destination-wedding-etiqutte-q
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  • FSForeverFSForever member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Welcome and Congrats!
    Be careful about what you offer to pay for. I wish we had planned everything we wanted first and then made the offers.  We did it the opposite and offered first.  It will all work out but there are some things I would have liked to do that are now on hold because we want to make sure we can follow through with those commitments. 
  • kimmykupcakeskimmykupcakes member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    You don't have to pay for anything for travel and lodging.  If you were having your wedding at home, you wouldn't pay for out of town guests to come to your wedding.  If you can afford to help, it can be a nice gesture, but is not required or expected. We aren't paying for any of our guests travel or lodging.
  • jtolyjtoly member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Congrats! I can't really help you as I'm eloping but everyone else here gave you some good advice. Good luck with your planning!
    ~jenn~ Photobucket Anniversary
  • edited December 2011
    I don't think you have to pay for anything like airfare or accommodations for your guests. We covered accommodating for a few people (my husband's parents and one set of aunts/uncles/cousins) to help out people we knew couldn't afford to do it on their own. But (and this is just my personal opinion), I think it's important to be a really great host to your guests. I mean, I think that whenever you're hosting a party, you should be a good host, but when your guests are paying thousands to celebrate with you, it's important to put them first.

    I'm not a fan of the whole "it's myyyyyyyyyyyy daaaaaay" mindset that many women seem to suddenly develop upon getting engaged. That just feels so selfish! We had to cut a lot of things from our wish list because we decided they were more about us then about our guests. I've always maintained that the ceremony is about the couple, but the party is about thanking the community of people you love, and you've gotta do what you've gotta do to keep people happy.

    So, for us, that meant offering additional activities and opportunities to hang out with us - we had a welcome bbq for everyone two days before the wedding (it really allowed our groups to get to know each other AND was super inexpensive), arranged a kayak/snokel tour and a luau (post wedding), and made sure at the reception that there was an open bar (we did wine, beer and 3 cocktails). It also meant that I literally wrote down all the food dislikes/likes of our guests in an attempt to put together a menu that would have enough for everyone to find something they'd enjoy. (That part was ridiculous. I don't recommend doing that. My new philosophy is picky eaters can just suck it up.)

    Ultimately, do what you can to make your guests as happy as possible given your budget. You can't do any more than that!
  • edited December 2011
    We aren't paying for airfare or accommodations for our guests, but we did sign up for discount rates with Alaska Airlines and Hawaiian Airlines, secured a group rate for the hotel, and recommended some cheaper accommodation options.  Maybe that's something you can look at doing, just as a gesture to make it more affordable for your guests!
  • edited December 2011
    Thanks so much for all the info! Everyone has been extremely helpful! I was planning on hosting a welcome party and arranging for some sort of excursion for the guests, such as snorkeling, boat trip, etc.
    I also just found out American Airlines  offers discount group airfare rates, which is awesome since most of my guest will be flying from the midwest.
    I have been calling hotels trying to get details on group discounts. However, before I can get that done. I need to finalize my guest list.. Ahh.. so much to do! :)
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