Pre-wedding Parties

need serious help with bridal shower

I am having a destination wedding.....my fiance and I decided to do this because our families add way too much stress to the process. So, my mom offered to throw me a bridal shower, but here is the problem.....not one person she is inviting is invited to the wedding. They are close family friends and a couple of my closest friends. 

I know who ever is invited to the shower must also be invited to the wedding, but with the destination wedding, would that be an exception?

Re: need serious help with bridal shower

  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    No. if they are invited o the shower, they need to be invited to the wedding. Just inviting people to a shower says, "you're good enough to request a gift from, but not to invite to the ceremony." An exception is if people at work want to host a shower for you.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • It's best to decline the shower.
     
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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    No, not an exception. If they are not going to be invited to the wedding, they shouldn't be invited to a shower.
                       
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_need-serious-help-with-bridal-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:01a63c21-8ef0-4d91-99e9-6deeb05fd31cPost:c7df9256-1240-43b6-9c41-8f2a36fff499">need serious help with bridal shower</a>:
    [QUOTE]I am having a destination wedding.....my fiance and I decided to do this because our families add way too much stress to the process. So, my mom offered to throw me a bridal shower, but here is the problem.....<strong>not one person she is inviting is invited to the wedding.</strong> They are close family friends and a couple of my closest friends.  I know who ever is invited to the shower must also be invited to the wedding, but with the destination wedding, would that be an exception?
    Posted by bnewman7229[/QUOTE]
    Yikes.
    Question, why isn't she inviting anyone to the shower who is invited to the wedding? Is she hoping the shower will appease these people since they won't be invited to the wedding? I'm just honestly curious.
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  • Well thats the thing....no one is invited to the wedding, not even my mother. 

    We decided we just wanted to spend the day with eachother instead of everyone else....since there seems to be nothing but drama when people get in a room together. So to avoid the drama we booked a cruise and they had a package for a destination wedding, just for the two of us. 

    It is bad enough she is not going to the wedding, and i feel absolutly horrible thinking i might have to tell her to not throw the shower.
  • In Response to Re:need serious help with bridal shower:[QUOTE]Well thats the thing....no one is invited to the wedding, not even my mother. We decided we just wanted to spend the day with eachother instead of everyone else....since there seems to be nothing but drama when people get in a room together. So to avoid the drama we booked a cruise and they had a package for a destination wedding, just for the two of us. It is bad enough she is not going to the wedding, and i feel absolutly horrible thinking i might have to tell her to not throw the shower. Posted by bnewman7229[/QUOTE]
    So you're eloping. Which is fine. But means you forfeit any showers, bach.parties, etc. Like PPs said, decline the shower.

    photo fancy-as-fuck.jpg
  • I have had 2 friends elope. 

    They had a back yard party when they came back so they could celebrate with their friends. Maybe instead of having her throw a shower for you ask if she could postpone it till after the wedding as a celebration party? 
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_need-serious-help-with-bridal-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:01a63c21-8ef0-4d91-99e9-6deeb05fd31cPost:5be83906-d12e-4096-bb80-25d61fa74d24">Re: need serious help with bridal shower</a>:
    [QUOTE]I have had 2 friends elope.  They had a back yard party when they came back so they could celebrate with their friends. Maybe instead of having her throw a shower for you ask if she could postpone it till after the wedding as a celebration party? 
    Posted by JazzieL[/QUOTE]

    I like this idea also. I'm guessing it's not about the presents for your mom, she probably just wants to do something special to honor your wedding. See if you can get her to go along with this and ask her to help out with this.
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