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Wedding with no Bar

WishforfreedomWishforfreedom
in Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum
Hey all! This is my first post :)
So I'm getting married next spring but I'm only 19 so I'm really tied up about a bar. My family doesn't drink, and I know some of his family drinks and some don't. So could we go without a bar? It's going to be an outdoor wedding in Charleston, SC so I was wondering if something like lemonade or sweet tea would be a better choice than a bar. I don't want to spend money on a bar when no one will drink. 

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Re: Wedding with no Bar

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    kaos16kaos16 member
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_wedding-with-no-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:04501207-4a3e-4ee2-a76b-087a34ec85aaPost:8fa2e4f5-0486-4114-8446-c164c0af7a2b">Wedding with no Bar</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hey all! This is my first post :) So I'm getting married next spring but I'm only 19 so I'm really tied up about a bar. My family doesn't drink, and I know some of his family drinks and some don't. So could we go without a bar? It's going to be an outdoor wedding in Charleston, SC so I was wondering if something like lemonade or sweet tea would be a better choice than a bar. I don't want to spend money on a bar when no one will drink. 
    Posted by Wishforfreedom[/QUOTE]

    You certainly do not have to have a bar.  That's a personal decision based on your guest list and belief system, etc.  Just make sure that you provide beverages.  A lemonade and sweet tea offering would be nice, maybe some water and soda too.

    In the alternative, you can always do a limited bar, just wine and beer for instance.  You could also just have wine on the tables for dinner.  There are plenty of options.

    As long as you properly host your guests, you are fine.

    *Although not mentioned in your original post, please don't let anyone talk you into a cas bar.  That would be an example of NOT properly hosting your guests.

    Congrats on your upcoming wedding! 
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    itzMSitzMS member
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    I agree with the previous poster.

    Throwing in my 2 cents, I will say that if I went to a wedding with no alcohol hosted, I would be shocked. A dry wedding is very uncommon in my area/circle.

    However, if you and your FI plan to go this route, it is certainly acceptable. Make sure to have a variety of sweet and unsweet beverages.
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    MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited October 2012
    A dry wedding is perfectly fine.  You should be realistic about your expectations, though.  Many people don't like to dance or party the night away without alcohol.  It doesn't mean that they are alcoholics or can't "get through" the event, but more that a dry wedding changes the mood.  

    In my circle, alcohol is coupled with most celebrations, especially those in the evening.  Not everyone drinks, but at a dry event, we'd be a little more subdued and probably wouldn't be dancing.  But you have to know your crowd.  There are plenty of people that will party and dance without a drink in sight.

    Many people find that brunch, lunch, or early afternoon weddings are more condusive to dry weddings, because of the general mood of that time of day.  Think about the people you are inviting in other social situations.  Would they normally have a drink if you went out to dinner?  Would they normally have a drink at lunch?  Would they normally go dancing without drinks?
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    Lisa50Lisa50 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    No bar?  Mature decision for a 19 year old.  Go for it!
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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    And you can sparkling cider or grape juice for the toast. One thing for sure, you know you won't have to worry about your guests getting home safely which right there is a wonderful thing. Have a bar, just no alcohol. It's your wedding, do what you want.
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    DramaGeekDramaGeek member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    We did not have alcohol.  Our receiption was in our church hall and it wasn't allowed, which was ok with us.  People danced and had a great time at our wedding.  Great food, great company, great music all adds up to an awesome time.

    We served a lemon-peach sorbet drink, hot and cold tea, apple cider, water, coffee...I think that's it.
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    MrsGandthebeagMrsGandthebeag member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment First Anniversary
    Normally I wouldn't be thrilled about an alcohol free wedding, but since you're under legal drinking age, I wouldn't think it was strange.  If the bride and groom can't drink, then I won't either.  
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    arendivaarendiva member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    If you are underage I think it makes sense to have a dry wedding (normally I prefer wet). Guests will understand you not buying them drinks when legally you can't even buy them for yourself.
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    mcda04mcda04 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    Go with a dry wedding. If you're not old enough to drink it's not a big deal.

    Plus, insurance is higher when the celebrated person is underage and alcohol is involved. at least that was the case for me when we celebrated my sweet 16 and when we toured venues for our weddings, they all had that "insurance fees vary per event" disclaimer.
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    MegenQMegenQ member
    First Comment
    edited October 2012
    I have to agree with the majority of the postings on this one. Since you are under the legel age for alchohol and the your family doesnt' drink very much iut would be in many ways a waste of money and resources to do a bar.  Also a cash bar is kinda a pain to deall with. And honestlly if people are so needed for a drink they will just bring there own in contianed in a flask. The lemonade is a cool idea. run with it.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    I always prefer to have a drink at a wedding but there's nothing wrong with dry ones. And it makes sense if you can't have a drink yourself. This is perfectly acceptable, you're in the clear.
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    kerbohlkerbohl member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    I agree with kaos 16.  I'm 25, but despite being very legal I barely drink, and my FI doesn't drink at all.  I don't care about alcohol at a wedding, but I do think wine on the tables is a good way to go, and maybe a  limited bar.  I'm having a lunch reception, so I'm really liking the idea of a limited bar for myself personally. 

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    troyandwhitneytroyandwhitney member
    First Comment
    I've been to very few weddings with alcohol (but I know the struggle! My in-laws are begging for a bar). Choose what YOU would enjoy. You don't want to feel left out at yoru own party. And once you decide, stick with it. Don't let your friends and family talk you in to/out of something you would rather not do.
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    DaveandRoxyDaveandRoxy member
    First Comment
    edited October 2012
    You don't have to have a bar. However, my cousin had a dry wedding a couple years ago and everyone was pretty pissed that you had to go downstairs to the hotel bar to snag a drink for $7. So pretty much that's all everyone talked about at the after party. We didn't notice the dress or flowers or cake or decor. Just how lame it was that there was no bar provided. Especially, since I came from out of town and had spend a couple hundred on plane tickets already. Probably the worst wedding I've ever been to. So, that's just my view and why I'm having a bar, I think it's just considerate to those who have come a long way, brought me a gift and would like a drink. But I can see where it's complicated on your end since you're not even of drinking age. I think people would be more understanding and sympathetic to your situation. 
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    puppetrickpuppetrick member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    Dry wedding = no problem! I had a dry wedding in August..no one was "shocked" or gave any indication that they would have a problem with the lemonade (with lime slices!), water, and iced tea that was being served! All went well and we had ENOUGH drinks for the masses! AND, going to Costco for everything made it even CHEAPER! :)
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    OwningAHome1981OwningAHome1981 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited October 2012
    This is def regional. No one here has dry weddings, but then again most people here are old enough to drink when they get married, so it might be different. I don't think a dry wedding here is ok, but if they are common where you are then I say go ahead.
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    eelsbury08eelsbury08
    First Comment

    I personally dont want a bar but my mom says it is required even though i know it is not. Since she wants it so bad I am having her pay the bar bill. Yep, since I dont drick and FI doesnt either and his family doesnt we are not going to be paying for what we dont want.

    I think you have made a very mature desicion

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    TurtlesAllTheWayDownTurtlesAllTheWayDown member
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_wedding-with-no-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:04501207-4a3e-4ee2-a76b-087a34ec85aaPost:3396099e-d523-43d2-8be1-e3a5ca615bba">Re: Wedding with no Bar</a>:
    [QUOTE]You don't have to have a bar. However, my cousin had a dry wedding a couple years ago and everyone was pretty pissed that you had to go downstairs to the hotel bar to snag a drink for $7. So pretty much that's all everyone talked about at the after party. We didn't notice the dress or flowers or cake or decor. Just how lame it was that there was no bar provided. Especially, since I came from out of town and had spend a couple hundred on plane tickets already. Probably the worst wedding I've ever been to. So, that's just my view and why I'm having a bar, I think it's just considerate to those who have come a long way, brought me a gift and would like a drink. But I can see where it's complicated on your end since you're not even of drinking age. I think people would be more understanding and sympathetic to your situation. 
    Posted by DaveandRoxy[/QUOTE]


    I love alcohol, but I once traveled 7 hours to go to a dry wedding. The bride and groom don't drink alcohol for religious reasons. The groom's family is of the same religion. Many of their friends do not drink. I found it perfectly acceptable for their wedding to be dry. Also, it was an evening dinner reception at a hotel, not at a religious venue and not earlier in the day. I was still fine with the decision. It wasn't my wedding!
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    Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    A dry wedding makes sense for all ages.  In your case, because you are under drinking age, it sounds perfectly fine.  There is no requirement that you provide alcohol.  Some people may be unhappy about that, but it reflects on them and not you.
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    thurmanpowellthurmanpowell
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_wedding-with-no-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:04501207-4a3e-4ee2-a76b-087a34ec85aaPost:3396099e-d523-43d2-8be1-e3a5ca615bba">Re: Wedding with no Bar</a>:
    [QUOTE]You don't have to have a bar. However, my cousin had a dry wedding a couple years ago and everyone was pretty pissed that you had to go downstairs to the hotel bar to snag a drink for $7. So pretty much that's all everyone talked about at the after party. We didn't notice the dress or flowers or cake or decor. Just how lame it was that there was no bar provided. Especially, since I came from out of town and had spend a couple hundred on plane tickets already. Probably the worst wedding I've ever been to. So, that's just my view and why I'm having a bar, I think it's just considerate to those who have come a long way, brought me a gift and would like a drink. But I can see where it's complicated on your end since you're not even of drinking age. I think people would be more understanding and sympathetic to your situation. 
    Posted by DaveandRoxy[/QUOTE]


    Are you me?

    I also had to attend an out of town (multi-day and very expensive trip) wedding which turned out dry. It sucked. The reasoning we were given was the the bride and groom "didn't drink" (which isn't true, perhaps saving face for thier families?) and all and all it just came across as cheap.

    It was also the worst wedding i've been too. Not because we couldn't get wasted, but because it simply wasn't fun. Nobody danced, nobody mingled, after the food and cake happened... what was the point in still being there? They did all those gimmicky trends  (wish lanterns, smores... it was rustic themed) and the whole time it was just boring. "Magical" to you is not interesting to people who had a multi day trip and were expecting a celebration.

    Matter of fact, we went to another wedding within the same circle of friends a couple months later. First words? "Thank god, an open bar!"

    And you better believe bride and groom number 1 drank.

    To all you brides that had no alcohol with no complants, we didn't complain to this bride and groom either. Was their wedding ruined? No. But was it lame? Yes.
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    mcda04mcda04 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_wedding-with-no-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:04501207-4a3e-4ee2-a76b-087a34ec85aaPost:fd69bcf6-4257-433a-9014-2f902888b0b6">Re: Wedding with no Bar</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding with no Bar : Are you me? I also had to attend an out of town (multi-day and very expensive trip) wedding which turned out dry. It sucked. The reasoning we were given was the the bride and groom "didn't drink" (which isn't true, perhaps saving face for thier families?) and all and all it just came across as cheap. It was also the worst wedding i've been too. Not because we couldn't get wasted, but because it simply wasn't fun. Nobody danced, nobody mingled, after the food and cake happened... what was the point in still being there? They did all those gimmicky trends  (wish lanterns, smores... it was rustic themed) and the whole time it was just boring. "Magical" to you is not interesting to people who had a multi day trip and were expecting a celebration. Matter of fact, we went to another wedding within the same circle of friends a couple months later. First words? "Thank god, an open bar!" And you better believe bride and groom number 1 drank. To all you brides that had no alcohol with no complants, we didn't complain to this bride and groom either. Was their wedding ruined? No. But was it lame? Yes.
    Posted by thurmanpowell[/QUOTE]

    Why can't you have fun without alcohol? I don't think dry weddings are lame, that's pretty mean to say or even think. what do you do with alcohol that you can't sober? I dont get it.
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    thurmanpowellthurmanpowell
    First Comment
    edited October 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_wedding-with-no-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:04501207-4a3e-4ee2-a76b-087a34ec85aaPost:7d8c2a7d-6afe-4466-8108-f08d85055beb">Re: Wedding with no Bar</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding with no Bar : Why can't you have fun without alcohol? I don't think dry weddings are lame, that's pretty mean to say or even think. what do you do with alcohol that you can't sober? I dont get it.
    Posted by mcda04[/QUOTE]


    You can pretend to not get it all you want, but there's a reason alcohol is generally served at the majority of parties across the country.

    Any house party without alcohol would be considered lame. Your wedding, just because it's YOUR wedding, doesn't get excluded from this.

    To stage:

    I never said a reception was automatically AWESOME if they had a top shelf open bar. You're right, more goes into a good wedding than alcohol. That however, doesn't mean that  alcohol doesn't help. 

    I wasn't at your wedding so I won't comment on it. But this thread isn't about YOUR wedding. It's about how others perceive dry weddings. Some people don't like them, I'm one of those people.
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    GardenMavenGardenMaven
    First Comment
    We are having a dry reception.  When we brought it up to our DJ, he thought it was a great idea.  Half of my family is East Coast Italian, and I can tell you that they party it up regardless of what they are consuming.  Should be a great time!
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    thurmanpowellthurmanpowell
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_wedding-with-no-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:04501207-4a3e-4ee2-a76b-087a34ec85aaPost:cc975de6-601a-4b76-a6a8-7a90c8a679ac">Re:Wedding with no Bar</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:Wedding with no Bar: By the same token, it's not about any of YOUR friends' weddings either or what YOU think. I did the exact same thing you did. <strong>I gave my opinion based on personal experiences. The fact that they differ from yours does not somehow make them less valid.</strong>
    Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]


    ...LOL. I'm not saying yours is invalid, YOU'RE the one discounting my opinion.

    You are so silly.
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    thurmanpowellthurmanpowell
    First Comment
    edited October 2012
    How am I expecting my friends to pay their bar tab? Are you refering to the Dry (not cash bar, but dry) RD my ILs are hosting? It's a weird thing for you to crticize me about Stage, since you keep insisting that my RD is somehow akin to your reception.


    Also, I like how a drunk is now defined as someone who has a few drinks on a sturday night during a party. Ok.

    Stage, I bet your reception isn't the most dry thing about you.
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    thurmanpowellthurmanpowell
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_wedding-with-no-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:04501207-4a3e-4ee2-a76b-087a34ec85aaPost:1ed07eac-d31a-443e-804a-84d654d8cfca">Re: Wedding with no Bar</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding with no Bar : A) I didn't accuse you of anything.  If you take issue with Retread's post, how about addressing Retread directly like a big girl?   B)  I never once "insisted" your RD was in any way like my reception.  Reading comprehension fail to the nth degree.  All I ever said is that you should keep your wedding in line with your crowd's expectations.  If your crowd insists that it is rude and lame and wrong to not have alcohol at social events, which it appears yours does, then having a fully stocked bar that they are not allowed to drink from at your RD seems pretty rude.  How does that have anything at all to do with my wedding? C) Everyone pretty much universally defines "getting wasted" as being drunk.  So, again, not me that chose that wording and I was far from alone in drawing that conclusion, yet I see no posts to Banana, Retread, OOT, or any of the others who read it the same way. Do you have some sort of odd obsession with me developing?  Because I've noticed how you constantly address me instead of other posters, and seem to attribute other people's posts as mine.  Might want to get that tunnel vision looked at.
    Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

    A) I'm addressing you instead of Retread because you're the one following me around forums with this stuff, grasping at any straws you can to prove your non-existent point. It's funny that you point this out, since your drama with me started with me agreeing with another poster.

    B) You did so insist it was the same, In fact you called me a hypocrite for not applying the same rules to all wedding related events.

    C) I said no one would expect to get wasted. So are you now saying I'm not a drunk? Also, I did reply to those other posters. Unlike you, I don't need to go on a days long rant agaisnt people. One or two posts then I'm done. You must be getting confused with all the drama you have going on with multiple people in multiple threads right now. 
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    Dreamergirl8812Dreamergirl8812 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    If you're worried about what your your guests will think, have your wedding at noon. People can drink later if they want.


    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_wedding-with-no-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:04501207-4a3e-4ee2-a76b-087a34ec85aaPost:8fa2e4f5-0486-4114-8446-c164c0af7a2b">Wedding with no Bar</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hey all! This is my first post :) So I'm getting married next spring but I'm only 19 so I'm really tied up about a bar. My family doesn't drink, and I know some of his family drinks and some don't. So could we go without a bar? It's going to be an outdoor wedding in Charleston, SC so I was wondering if something like lemonade or sweet tea would be a better choice than a bar. I don't want to spend money on a bar when no one will drink. 
    Posted by Wishforfreedom[/QUOTE]



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    OwningAHome1981OwningAHome1981 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_wedding-with-no-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:04501207-4a3e-4ee2-a76b-087a34ec85aaPost:95a763fe-3cd1-4908-9728-6014c13d19d9">Re: Wedding with no Bar</a>:
    [QUOTE]If you're worried about what your your guests will think, have your wedding at noon. <strong>People can drink later if they want</strong>. In Response to Wedding with no Bar :
    Posted by Dreamergirl8812[/QUOTE]

    Or they can decline to come to the wedding.

    I would not attend a dry wedding.

    To each her own, though.
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