NFP Experiences/Opinions

AlexaNP · September 2012

I had never really given much thought on NFP, and for our marriage prep, we are not required to attend an NFP class, however, our priest gave us the brochure in case we decided to go. I was just intrigued after reading a few of the other recent posts on this board.

A little background: FI and I will be married this December. I have a regular cycle and don't have any problems in that area. We hope to have a large family, 5-8 children (this is pretty common in my area, FI is the oldest of 8 kids, a lot of families in my town have between 5 and 11 kids-the kids being my generation or younger). We had always discussed our family planning being: we will just let God decide when he wants us to have each of our children. I'm not sure I really want to decide exactly when we will have each child, as long as they are not too close together (meaning 3-6 months) which we would prevent with abstinence.

I was just wondering what other people's experiences are with NFP, or any recommendations or suggestions or opinions for me. FI and I are considering attending the NFP class to see what it's about. I looked at the brochure and you just contact the office at the diocese and they contact you when there is an opening for a class. Father seemed to think we may not be able to get the class in before the wedding, but we could still attend afterward. I just wanted to see what you ladies had to say.

Thanks!!

professorscience · September 2012

I would definitely suggest checking out the class! Even if you want a huge family, NFP will definitely help you space your kids out. Also, the more you know about your body, the better! For example, I have a pretty regular cycle, but thanks to NFP, I was able to see that I was not ovulating for several months and was able to get with a doctor and address several health issues that were preventing ovulation. Now that H and I are ready to TTC, I know everything is "working!"

agapecarrie · September 2012

I would suggest learning it, because all it is is information about your cycle. You can then decide whether you want to use the information later-- and it can help you CONCEIVE children as well as avoid.

It also can help reveal and treat health issues if that ever becomes a problem.

Also, its way way WAY easier to learn when not engaging in sex than having to learn after.

Also, if you know it ahead of time, if perhaps you have a health issue in the future that you would need to avoid pregnancy for awhile, or permanently (God forbid cancer, or something else), you have the tools to do so.

professorscience · September 2012

Also, if you're fairly regular, you could self-teach with the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility.

caitriona87 · September 2012

It doesn't hurt to learn it. We want a big family too and our "default" is not to use NFP to TTA, but have been happy to know it on several occasions. For example, with our first child I had a c-section. It was very important for us to try to VBAC (see desire for big family) but for the best chance of that, we had to wait at least 6 months before getting pregnant again. Then after charting/TTC/not conceiving for 7 more months, I had noticed some things in my charts that might indicate low progesterone which can make it hard to conceive and also cause miscarriages. We were just about to go get it all checked out when we found out I was pregnant. The fact that I had been charting and noticed this issue meant I was able to be proactive and find a doctor who would test for progesterone levels. It ended up being fine but it gave us huge peace of mind to be able to know and do something about it if necessary.

Calypso1977 · September 2012

i would definteily learn it. desired family size is irrelevant, IMO. big or small family, its a great method to know.

you never know when something may happen that will make you decide to delay another child or perhaps not have any additional children (job loss, serious illness, medical issues, etc.)

and as agape said, it works both ways - to avoid and conceive.

agapecarrie · September 2012

Oh, another thing as mentioned... its helpful if you need to just postpone a couple months too--- like you know you'll be moving at a certain time next year, and don't want to be 8 months pregnant at the time.

AlexaNP · September 2012

Thanks everyone. I don't really know anyone that does this, and actually never heard about it until our Marriage Prep classes. It is really good to be able to hear about it from other people instead of just reading articles and things. Also, thanks for the tip on that book. I think I am going to order that, especially if we won't be able to attend a class until after the wedding, at least I can have that as a resource to start learning now.

Calypso1977 · September 2012

charting is actually quite popular among the secular minded as a means for conception. for some reason, tehy just dont seem to get that if it tells you when you are fertile/not fertile for purposes of getting pregnant, than obviously you can use that info to NOT get pregnant as well.

professorscience · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_nfp-experiencesopinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:028ca962-8d47-4dc9-975a-7d02c2270d30Post:2585da34-b53a-418d-8ac2-45b8151c188a">Re: NFP Experiences/Opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]charting is actually quite popular among the secular minded as a means for conception. for some reason, tehy just dont seem to get that if it tells you when you are fertile/not fertile for purposes of getting pregnant, than obviously you can use that info to NOT get pregnant as well.
Posted by Calypso1977[/QUOTE]

Haha, a friend who used NFP to conceive her daughter gave me a huge lecture on how there was no way H and I were going to be able to avoid having "unplanned" children with NFP. Silly people.

bibliophile2010 · September 2012

Ditto all of the others. Learn it now. Plus, if you do find that you need/want to avoid, using NFP involves less abstinance than abstinance alone, which you mentioned in your OP.

We were able to find/diagnose some health issues using NFP. At the time they were diagnosed, my cycles were still 27-29 days like clockwork, but my hormones were all out of whack. I'm so glad that we were able to fix them before we started TTC -- it gave me a lot of peace of mind.

agapecarrie · September 2012

another reason: you can date your conception dates. Sometimes, there have been non-NFP docs to incorrectly date pregnancies, and then mistake a non-heart beat for a miscarriage, when actually the baby isn't old enough to have one yet. (because ovulation was delayed)

TeaForMe · September 2012

Yes, yes, yes to everything that has been said already. There are so many reasons to "do NFP" (or as I call it, "have a basic understanding of your reproductive system")

My addition is *if* you breastfeed, you will most likely have a period of natural infetility while breastfeeding, usually at least 6 months but can be over a year (TMI, but it was almost exactly a year for me!). If you're plannng to just flat-out abstain during times you aren't prepared for child, it would be a shame to do so (IMHO) when you're not fertile anyway. Also, you'll know when your fertility returns. Otherwise, I've heard of women who just take a pregnancy test every couple of weeks while breastfeeding until they get their first post-partum period since they have no idea if they have ovulated. WIth NFP, you'll know when your fertility has returned.

lalaith50 · September 2012

[QUOTE]charting is actually quite popular among the secular minded as a means for conception. for some reason, tehy just dont seem to get that if it tells you when you are fertile/not fertile for purposes of getting pregnant, than obviously you can use that info to NOT get pregnant as well.
Posted by Calypso1977[/QUOTE]
yes yes yes! this totally cracks me up... {eyeroll}

AlexaNP · September 2012

I'm really thankful for all the insight! I am looking at B&N now to order that book. I found one by Toni Weschler and one by Heather Welford. Which should I order?

lalaith50 · September 2012

toni weschler

AlexaNP · September 2012

thanks lalaith50!! I was hoping someone was still on this late so I could order!

catarntina · September 2012

Oh, girl... If you want to space out your children naturally, breastfeed them all.

That is a NATURAL way to delay your fertility and to naturally space children. It is considered NFP.

You should still learn to chart, but you don't need to abstain for so many months after having a baby. I'm nearly 8 months PP, and I haven't ovulated since April 2011. It's awesome.

If you exclusively breastfeed, you'll be able to delay your fertility for at least 6 months pp before starting baby on solid foods. Then, once baby is on solids, if you want to delay getting pregnant to space them out even more, you can chart. But there's no need to abstain! I recommend learning to chart to try to conceive as well.

Also I want to piggy back on what Agapecarrie said. I charted, I had my conception date. The OB based my due date off my last menstrual period. I ovulated 10 days later than an "average" cycle. At my first ultrasound, they told me I had miscarried because there was no heartbeat. But 8 months later, my perfectly healthy baby boy was born.

Calypso1977 · September 2012

its my understanding that you still need to chart while BF'ing. while it greatly reduces fertility, it isnt 100%.

catarntina · September 2012

Calypso, it is not 100%. And charting should be used in conjunction with breastfeeding. But if you exclusively BF for 6 months, it's pretty darn close to 100%. After 6 months when you introduce solids, it goes down significantly. Any time spent pumping rather than nursing, any time baby gets formula rather breastmilk also increases your chance for fertility to return.

Here's some stats from Wikipedia:

For women who meet the criteria (listed below), LAM is 98% - 99.5% effective during the first six months postpartum.^[1]

Breastfeeding must be the infant’s only (or almost only) source of nutrition. Feeding formula, pumping instead of nursing,^[2] and feeding solids all reduce the effectiveness of LAM.
The infant must breastfeed at least every four hours during the day and at least every six hours at night.
The infant must be less than six months old.
The mother must not have had a period after 56 days post-partum (when determining fertility, bleeding prior to 56 days post-partum can be ignored).

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lactational_amenorrhea

I meant it more like... "Abstain?! WHAT FOR?!" There's no reason to abstain for 6 months post-partum.

The AAP now recommends that you wait 6 months before introducing solids. If baby is replacing nursing sessions with solid foods, then LAM is not as effective.

sigmaurse · September 2012

I would suggest you go to the class and if you sign up thru the Couple to Couple League you get that book as part of your materials. It's a great thing and not hard at all! Except I forget to chart! FH will be helpful in reminding me once we are married!

AlexaNP · September 2012

Thanks for the input! When I mentioned about abstaining, I really only meant for about 3 months PP. FI and I have one daughter, and based on how I felt for the first few months, I don't think I'll really have a problem with that. Also, I BF exclusively for 5 months, but I still got my period back when my daughter was only 2 months old, so that method may not help me very much. Under normal circumstances, FI and I would have been ready to start TTC when our daughter was 5-6 months old, except for the fact that our wedding isn't until December, and we want to do things in some semblance of "the right way" since we already messed that up a little.

I did receive my copy of "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" and am in the process of reading/studying it. I am impressed. It reads a lot easier than I expected! I was picturing it to be similar to a textbook. Also, I checked on booking a class through the couple to couple leauge but the closest one was over 2 hours away from my hometown, so I think we are going to go through with booking the class through the diocese like our priest suggested.

NFP Experiences/Opinions

Re: NFP Experiences/Opinions

Choose Another Board

Search Boards